Sometimes I feel lost and just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. Sad, yes, I know, but it gets hard sometimes and I don't think I can handle it. I've been a type 2 for 11 years now and managing it okay, but sometimes its to much. But then I realize I'm alive and very thankful for that and do my best to pick myself up and keep going. I'm in NJROTC, which keeps my exercising and my mom keeps me motivated.
I try to keep myself busy. If all else fails, I always have a book to read on hand that will distract me from diabetes, or, that will make me think "great book, keep your BG in line so you can keep reading it..."
To paraphrase Dmitri Shostakovich, living with diabetes is better than the alternative...
Diabetes is a relentless foe that never gives up, Fighting the battle sometimes wears us down and makes us depressed. Talking about it with others is what helps me. That's why I spend so much time here on TuDiabetes. What I have here is an understanding group of friends to support me.
Is there a bright side to diabetes I don't know maybe. Having diabetes teaches us to be strong because it takes strength to continue the fight day in day out. People that manage to control their D as it seems you have are often, not counting diabetes, much healthier and fit.
I agree with Judith that 11 years with no meds is amazing, you must be doing something right. Keep waking up with a smile and you will be Okay.
Sweetie...you are doing SO WELL!! Controlled by diet and exercise alone....FOR 11 YEARS!!! Thats to be applauded! And what an awesome A1c!!!
You are amongst friend here at Tu.
Big basket of hugs....
linda
Take a big bow for doing so well on your own! Quite an accomplishment.
Yes, indeed. A tremendous burden to deal with. Okay to cry sometimes & also get angry. Unrealistic not to when it gets to be too much.
When I feel really down, I think of being near death in DKA. I recapture the feeling of gratitude for being alive & how I'll do anything to never be that sick again. Helps me to keep going & positive.
The expression "one day at a time" was meant for us.
izzie, ive had t1 now for just over a year. when i would read about people saying they were thankful about having diabetes, that it improved their lives in any way shape or form, i would want to throw my computer across the room. how could they ever say that this horribly demanding condition was a good thng?!?
i have spent most of this time looking for reasons i got it, stories of people being miraculously cured, staring angrily at people eating ice cream without thinking...theyre probably things ill do forever (esp staring angrily at people who eat without thinking, omg how much do i hate them sometimes?!?) but in the last couple of months ive actually come to appreciate some things i never thought i would.
i have never eaten so healthily in my life. i eat moderately low carb and have tons of energy, which allows me to do sport and anything else i choose. i was at a shopping mall at xmas with a (real live t1!!) friend, and had to wait in line to get two bottles of water. the only place was a dairy queen/orange julius. i watched everyone in front of me order these massive, terrible-for-you ice-cream/cookie dough/kit kat chunk sundae things. one part of me was annoyed at how i was ordering water for me and my hypo-ing friend, but a bigger part of me was appreciative of the fact that i had been forced to give up the incredibly unhealthy way many people eat EVERY SINGLE DAY! in that line that day, i felt LUCKY(ish) to be diabetic!
i am so much more in tune with my body. i know so much better what it needs. i dont always know when ill hypo or go high from something but i am so amazed that my experience and the knowledge ive gained this year has dramatically improved my body/brain relationship.
dont get me wrong, most of the time when i HAVE TO listen more carefully to my body(hypo/hyper territory), i think D is a big pain in the arse and i hate it. i hate it at xmas. i hate reading that youve had it for eleven years and its still with you and not any easier! the forever thing is not right. if i had my way, everyone would have to have it for five years and then wed be able to pass it on to someone else. that way wed only have to be all stressed out about it for 5 years and then we could help the other people who were new with it. i must be a bit of a socialist...:)
its good you have your mom there, keep up the good work. were all with you on this!
Thank you all for telling me this. I actually cried reading the replies, the support and love just made me feel so much better and makes me want to keeping going on. Actually starting off I was on meds, but I stop taking them(without docs orders) because I felt sick sometimes. But I've been better ever since. Thank You All
I find that as a T2 it can be hard to not feel that my condition is somehow my fault. We are all constantly bombarded with messages that tell us that the the reason we have T2 is that we are overweight and don't take care of ourselves. I hate that my doctors look at my chart and just tell me I have T2 because I am overweight. I don't have T2 because of my weight, I have T2 because it just happened. The extra weight is a symptom of my condition.
It has been hard for me to come to the realization that this dreaded condition isn't something that I caused, it is not my fault, it is just my condition in life. I, like you, must carry a heavy burden in this life. And as I look back, I try not to look at all the hardship, the health difficulties, the complications. I look at the how I have had to be brave and work so very hard to take care of myself. That is what makes a person of true character, how they behave in the face of adversity and surmount difficulties. Whenever you feel down or depressed, remind yourself of your great accomplishments.
Thanks Izzie for the post and everyone for the great thread that has emerged. Yes, diabetes is a curse, a ball & chain we will drag around our whole lives.
But we can also reframe how we see diabetes in our lives and finds ways to live well with it. I like how Riva Greenberg phrases it as learning to THRIVE rather than survive with diabetes.(see her blog on diabetesstories.com)
You sound like overall you're doing well, but maybe a certain situation is challenging you right now. Hang in there!