There's a rainbow in sight!

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1

A year has gone by since my diagnosis of T1 at age 20. Relief, frustration, ambition, determination, anger…the list goes on.


As I reflect upon the last year, I do recognize a reoccurring theme of denial that led me to hide my emotions, prosper fear, and generate feelings of regret and carelessness.
It took me until two weeks ago to even want to make my sugars consistent. For some reason, for the past twelve months I have just been telling myself that it will all go away. I did this to myself? So I can fix it? Wrong, Alexa. Type 1 is autoimmune. Nothing and no one could have helped you. You are chosen and you are to cope, with grace and optimism. Eventually.

I suppose the most frustrating, confusing concept in all of this is how ironic it has all become. I have given the most acute attention to my health and nutrition my entire life, especially in the past three years. Before I was diagnosed, I considered myself a "health nut," "food whiz," and so on. I could give you every nutrition fact on foods, explain what it all meant, and count every number, calorie, and serving size inside my head faster than a calculator.
And all the while deep down inside my body, I obtain the disease that holds food and exercise as her sovereign.

I have given myself a year to figure this all out. Or at least digest it. And now, I believe it is time for me to swallow all of my fear and create a place where my diabetes can live with me, but not consume me. Never will I let her take full control of my mind or my body. I will treat her like family, nourish her the best I can, and hold her close to me like the ocean hugs the sand.

I think the next step for me is going on the pump. I have done hours of research, nights of dreaming, and days of contemplating which one it will be. I don't believe there is any "right," or, "perfect" pump, but I do believe that the one that falls into my hands will help me best he can, and if that one doesn't work out, luckily we have plenty more options!

I want to do so many things. Every day I wake up after a night full of vivid dreams, with a weight in my heart from too much excitement. Not a bad weight, for it weens off as I spend my energy. However, I believe that all of us with diabetes has a life to live with accomplishments that we will each dance into in our own beautiful way.

Here's a poem I wrote for everyone!


Ideas are noodles


Sifting through minds like insulin

absorbing the intricacies of life



With determination they warp into a company

of flowers on display at a wedding where


Two become one



And their smiles and tears fly into a golden pot


Where in the land next door


Lies a rainbow.






2

I just celebrated my 1 year Diabirthday in June!

I’ve been from shots, to pretty much the coolest Insulin Pump on the planet, from an A1C of 13.5 to and A1c of 6.8, from finals-week highs to crawling-down-the-stairs lows, from losing my pump in Malaysia to getting it back in the mail a month later, it feels like I’ve been through it all, but I know there is a lot to come…
Looks like you are heading in the right direction, and from my personal experiance, nothing is better for your body than the right attitude! If you are feeling at all as overwhelmed as I was, I would highly reccomend the pump. It seems like it’s the direction you are heading, and I think it’s a good one!
Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, or if you’ve got any questions about the OmniPod, I’ve pretty much memorized the manual! If you are interested in the OmniPod, take a look at the OmniPod Users group here omn TuDiabetes, it’s probably the most active, and definately one of the most supportive, groups here!

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Hi Alexa…Your on the right track! I’m always amazed when I come across stories like yours and I can tell you that your going thru all the same things that most of us did. I was diagnosed at age 40 but and while and considered myself to be healthy and keep a healthy lifestyle…So how did I get this? You got thru a rollercoster of emotions and questions and I can tell you that I found the most peace when I stumbled across this site and was able to talk to others that have the same issues and help give you comfort and knowing that it’s OK to have those feelings and give insight to things that I have not yet dealt with. But I can tell you that from your blog you have the right attitude and if you keep this close to you as you suggested you can live life as you would have without this! It also took me a good year or more to get this all figured out…get comfortable with it, finally agree to go on a pump and clear my mind of the constant worries that I first had…You have control of you and I think your already ahead of the learning curve. Take Care~Schmutz!

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Maia, I’m so happy the Omnipod is working for you! Did you decide on the Dex yet?!
Schmutz, it is always so comforting to know that someone else was surprised as I was! You’re right, too, this site is incredible! I see you are on the Omnipod? This is my top pump choice right now, with perhaps the Dex to accompany it (like Maia, below). Do you love the pod or what?!

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Yes…I love my Podd. It’s the only pump I’ve had so it might be somewhat biased but I when I looked at pumps at the suggestion of my endo I searched long and hard and talked to other pump users, it’s funny as most are very brand loyal at least from what those that I talked to. But just couldn’t get used to the idea of being tethered to this machine and for me it was more freedom with it being done remotely. People just think your on a phone or blackberry and I can change basal rates, bolus when I want to eat more and extend it to help me hard to cover meals. I was only using Lantus for about 2 years and kept myself on a strict low carb diet of about 15-20 per meal. I was doing ok or at least I thought I was but after going on the Podd I can’t believe what a prison I was keeping myself in. I’ve been able to have cake and ice cream at times for special events. I wrote a blog on my first day or so on the pump if your interested…I will conclude with this…the Podd has made “D” a smaller part of my life…Yes–I love it! :slight_smile: Be Good!

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Okay, SOLD! Thank you :slight_smile:

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I always think of it as sending a text message to my body…
Schmutz is right, you don’t really realize how hard something is until you get a break from it!
I just sent my DexCom forms in to my Endo’s office! So there should be a Dex in the mail SOON (if insurance goes well!)

Rock on, Alexa!

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Alexa, I guess that I am a bit late here, but just to help you confirm your decision, I have been on the Omnipod since May and I absolutely love it, recently had a mishap with the PDM, dunked it in a cooler while camping in the mountains of North Carolina (I don’t recommend this action, had to be replaced). I had to go back on shots for three days, first time in over 13 years, it reminded me of the struggle of always chasing your BG level and trying to anticipate how the long acting insulin was going to react, I was scared to go to sleep the first night. I was on shots for 21 years and now I am in my 14th year of pumping, one Disetronic and two Animas pumps prior to the Omnipod, and for me there is no comparison, I hated the tube tether everyday, it was just always in the way, whether swimming, running,or just tucking my shirt in. I have not tried the Dex as of yet so I cannot comment on it, but I would highly recommend the Omnipod, it has given me the freedom to become even more active and has improved my control. I will be celebrating, for lack of better terms, my 35th anniversary of my T1 diagnosis in January and I have always lived life to its fullest never letting diabetes slow me down. You don’t have to change your life, just some of your behaviour.

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Hey John, this is so helpful. Sorry to hear about that PDM incident, but I guess we’re all prone to have some water-to-electronical-devise mishap at some point, right? I definitely think the Podd, well the pump in general, will allow me to relax a little on the constant BG worries. I’m seeing my endo today and we’ll weigh out the options a little more, but I think I’ve made my decision on the Omnipod.
Congratulations on your 35th! That is just incredible. People like you reassure me that everything is going to work out. Take care, John!