For the last 7 years, every three months I receive 2(or 3) deliveries of diabetic supplies (as well as other arbitrary parcels). I cannot count how often I have hurried to the intercom/front door only to find that UPS has already left the despised "Attempted Delivery" notice. And in this 7 years time, I have seriously considered enrolling in some kind of athletic training to better prepare myself for the race to the front door to sign for my parcels delivered by UPS.
This has been a running joke between one of my sisters and I. We have been sharing our little stories of missed packages, or surprise parcels left at our front doors without a sound to know that UPS was there even though we were. We've also made it a little game to see if we could catch them in the act. But no matter how prepared I am to fly across the house in an attempt to catch him/her mid-delivery, I have only been greeted with the sound of their truck engine turning over and zooming off down the street. I swear it's some kind of superhuman feat.
So my sister and I have thought about contacting the writers on SNL in hopes that they would make it into a skit. So here's the senario....(any resemblance to my life is completely coincidental...I swear!)
Theres a woman, standing at her kitchen sink, elbow deep in suds. Her toddler is playing with toys on the kitchen floor, family cat is quietly napping nearby, and her favorite soap opera is on the TV. Beads of sweat are forming on her forehead and she nervously shifts about. She hears a bell. Startled, she turns halfway only to discover it was only the TV. False alarm. She lets out a sigh of relief. She hears a second bell. Frantically she checks the TV and it's the real deal this time!! The woman bolts towards the door, the startled cat springs into the air, and her toddler jumps into her path. The anxious woman leaps over him with the help from the jolt of parcel adrenaline. She lands on the toys scatterd about the kitchen floor. (cut to UPS guy writing the Attempt Deliver slip) The woman, now writhing in pain, pushes on to make it to the door. She tumbles, rolls and opens the door on her knees only to find the truck driving off and the slip on her door. Woman raises her fists in the air and a hurricane of curse words fly out. (cut to the toddler and cat covering their ears)
Sometimes it just seems cruel to see that piece of paper. Spotting of the UPS guy is like seeing a rare bird, kind of exciting when it happens, also shocking and disappointing that you don't have your camera to capture the moment.