Well-meaning friends

I’ve recently lost a really great friend and a mentor to type 1 diabetes. He was found at his home yesterday and I had seen him the day before. It’s really hard to lose someone to begin with, but when you share commonalities like type 1 diabetes, it makes it even harder. I’ve let some of my really close friends and family know, but I’m now dealing with their policing. I generally take care of my diabetes and generally don’t have too many issues, but I know they’re meaning well, but they’re making it harder for me to move forward.

I really want to tell them to **** off, but unfortunately, that's not an option. I've told them that I understand their concerns, but it's not the time nor the place for them to advise me on how to live my life with diabetes, but they just don't understand. I'm just frustrated, upset, and really taken back and they just don't seem to get it.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. I know you all understand!


I’m sorry. :frowning: People do worry, and get very overprotective… Maybe you can ask them for some space? That you need some space? I don’t know what suggest… :frowning: I generally get mad and tell em to **** off.

I can only imagine all the thoughts and feelings running through you right now. People without T1 really don’t get it at all. Try to ignore the comments so that you can deal with the loss of your friend and all the emotions I can only imagine you are feeling. :frowning: And know that there are plenty of us here that DO understand.

T1 for 30 years, diagnosed at age 3
Proud Mama to 3 kiddos under the age of 2 1/2

Hello Elizabeth:

Tell them exactly where to go…!

If you do not draw this line, which they are NOT entitled to cross, they will continue to trample your spirit, and break you… no matter how well they intend them.

You are an adult and entitled to your dignity.
Asked how your condition was doing, which is NOT their concern… In you place I would respond this way; “I will ask your question, if you will answer mine FIRST…” at which point I would then ask the most invasive and intimate, personal question that I could possibly imagine. ie How is your sex life, your menstral cycle, your STD, your affair, etc. going.

You are entitled to not be held prisoner to ghosts of diabetes past. Do they chain you to them?

You must act, as must we all.


U R right, Judith. Elizabeth, Just acknowledge their concern and calmly change the subject. They heard about your friends passing and are probably very frightened for you… And they as know very little about diabetes and its management,athey probably feel that by “policing you” ,they can protect you from an untimely death. Let them know you appreciate their concern and then change the subject, walk away if necessary.,…Do it again and again it the same calm manner for each of the self-imposed “diabetic police officers;” changing the subject each time. All but the most dim-witted or social-skills challenged will get the message. And for those kind , you do not have to worry about them being on your side anyway…If they get upset, you do not need them as friends anyway. Your family members may say they are hurt by your refusing to be “arrested” by their “Policing”, but that is THEIR problem, NOT yours.




They mean well and yes it’s a major pain in the butt! I’ve only been dx’ed type 1 for a little over 2 years now (aug./08). I lived for 52 years and then boom, it’s like I turned into glass. Hello, people I am no different than before, I just have a pancreas on manual over-ride. I do tell myself it would be worse if they didn’t care, over and over. LOL

Bah if the don’t listen when you ask them to back off tell them to **** off. If you felt you needed help you would ask. If you are neglecting yourself yes they can say their piece put after that its all you. I have a good friend that for years did not take care of himself but never bugged him about it.