Lots of people, when first diagnosed with T1D, go through a grieving process. A closed friend of mine, who was diagnosed about 5 years after me, really appreciated that I talked to him about emotions and grieving. I didn't pretend that everything was going to be okay, no Polly Anna stuff. He loves to travel to France and partake of fabulous food and wine, and I convinced him that that could still be on his radar (and yes, he has taken multiple trips to France since diagnosis). Each person is different, of course, but over the years I have found that acknowledging the loss, acknowledging that diabetes really sucks, is helpful for lots of people.
acknowledging that diabetes really sucks, is helpful for lots of people
... and seriously, what else are you going to tell them? I mean it's not like they won't find out on their own anyway, is it?
Better to try to help them find their own way to deal with the anger, the hatred, and the just pure rage that can follow finding out that your body has betrayed you.
Emotions are like weather. There is no right or wrong to them. They just are and you cope as best you can, no?
So, can I ask…
Are these questions really about a friend? Or are they about you? It just seems odd to have diabetes for 15 years and then finally join a ‘support group’ and have a million good questions to ask once a friend is dx’d. Either way we’re here to help and are happy to do so.
Sam, the other week someone put a post up about tuD getting a bit less friendly and there were lots of comments and it did give people something to talk about. i didnt participate, though it did make me think about how things have changed a bit since i joined three years ago, desperate for information and freaking out about being a newly diagnosed t1.
whatever my question, doubt, worry, i got only positive responses. people were so helpful and knew exactly what i was talking about. i find that most of the time, tuD is still like this and thats why i keep coming back.
your comment above really surprised me.
so no, you cant ask. why ask? what is your point, this calling out a new member about whether she is being truthful or not? what does it matter if she feels the need to hide behind a friend or is actually trying to help someone she loves? it may seem odd to you that someone doesnt have all the answers after however many years being diabetic or has never been on tuD. what do you know about her having never been to a support group or anything else? you dont know this persons story. take what these people you dont know at face value. no one needs to be obliged to save face on here like youre asking alicia to do.
Sorry don’t mean to sound harsh at all, quite the opposite actually, I just want everyone to know that we accept people as they are and are here to help whether for them self or for a friend. No judgement implied. You’re right… I don’t need to know.