It's odd but I have learned many things over the past year even though the past year has been to put it bluntly HELL.
I have learned that I can survive.This past year has brought emotional, financial and physical hardships beyond my belief and at times I felt like giving up and taking a dirt nap, but I didn't. If anything this past year has taught me that if what doesn't kill me doesn't make me stronger, it sure does ■■■■ me off and I can be a stubborn SOB when I am pissed. To quote PIL(Public Image Limited) "Anger is an energy", but it must be steered in the right direction to be positive.
I have learned love and hope can move mountains. My marriage was on the rocks and well still have to say isn't the best but is a work in progress and I count my blessings for my wife and family, I don't know what I would do with out them.
I have learned that my mother is not the enemy. Since my hospital stay my mother and I have grown closer and both of us being T-1 has brought some understanding of the other to us.
I have learned that even though it at first brought back dark images of my past. I can still give myself an injection and not cringe.
I have learned some times you have to cry, scream, laugh, whatever just to let it out. You got to let it out.
I have learned how to eat healthier. Not only is it better for you, but in my case it is now saving my life.
I have rediscovered the joys of silence, to sit and let my mind go empty, to listen to my body and my inner spirit.To release the anger, the joy, the sadness to just let it go and live in the now.
I have learned to not dwell on the past for it is already done and to not stress about what may come. To live in the now, to notice the the sunrise, the smile of a stranger, the joy in laughter, the beauty of all things and in all things.
Most of all I have learned I can Live. Live with Diabetes, live with the unknown, live for today
Wow…great blog. I can relate on so many areas…it was a tough 2010 and 2011 is starting out the same way for me…But, I still have Hope and alot of wonderful people in my life that I love and that love me. Very determined to Live, Laugh and Love. I wish you the best, and Live…
P.S. Love the “Dirt Nap”…good one.
Thank you for writing this blog. I Really enjoyed reading it. So many Good thoughts. It’s amazing how sometimes we forget the different ways to deal with our feelings and how Lucky we are when we can…
Wonderful photos on your page. Two Beautiful little Girls that you have there. I was wondering who the Sweet Girl with the candles was when I see her pic on the main page. You’re a Lucky Man!
Thank you Terrie the older one is Macey, full of ■■■■ and vinegar and the younger is Violet who is happy most of the time and pure evil when she is mad.
Robyn I find the that when ever stuff gets rough it is human nature to have that voice pop up in your head that says give up, just screw it, it’s not worth it. Some say any thought of suicide means you need help, I feel any serious consideration is the sign a person needs help. Even then it’s the situation that comes into play. You partner leaves you or you lose your job are not reasons. But if you look at people who know they are dying and choose to go out on their own terms I find it different, think Hemingway, Hunter S, or he has it done it yet Terry Pratchett. I have had many friends who have committed suicide for the wrong reason, some through their lifestyle haven’t even realized they were doing it. I have know few who when they saw the true end coming choose to jump before they were pushed.
Jim, what you wrote could have come right out of my brain. This is exactly how I think and feel about the past year for me. Even though, some of my hardship have been going on longer than just this past year. The past year 2010 was kicker - my D dx back in Feb 2010. 2010 sucked that is for sure. It is amazing how strong it has made it - I never knew I had in me. And it has changed my outlook on life that is for certain. I no longer fear death. All of us here have been through the ringer many times I am sure and even though we hate it - it definately interesting to look back on it to see how it has affected us and changed us. I honestly feel like completley different person in some ways - it was like a transformation of sorts.
Great Blog Jim, just went through a VERY rough year myself, and I so know what you mean. Here’s to getting better at living! Let’s have a hell of a GOOD 2011! toasts you
