Where do we go from here?

I could get up on the world’s largest soap box…HIGH GAS PRICES, CRAZY HOUSING MARKET, INFLATION, STAGNANT WAGES, SKY ROCKETING MEDICAL COSTS…etc., etc., etc.,

Where does that leave us? Where do we go from here? How do live knowing that things are probably not going to get any better any time soon. Some of us pin our hopes on an administration change, a new leader will bring something different. But then you open a newspaper, internet news site, or watch TV and you see it is not just us, not just America hurting, not just America looking at recession.

I am one of those people who live paycheck to paycheck. It is a risky survival strategy, but for many of us that is the way of it. I thought two years ago, when I got a “grown up” job that I had made it. I was going to be able to pay my bills, get less stressed, take better care of myself, but sadly, nature abhores a void. “All” the “extra” income I thought I was going to be making never materialized. My student loans went up, housing cost went up, health insurance went up…my blood sugars went up!

When I moved to Indiana, I sought out a new Endo. Found one, waited the traditional 9 months to get in to see her. A1C could have been better, but she seemed dedicated and someone I could work with on the road of diabetes management. She assisted me in trading in my MiniMed 508 for a 722, I loved all the bells and whistles, liked the new features, although coming from a 508 they felt a bit like taking some of my control over my pump away. Anyways, 6 months later (essentially 2 visits) she unexpectedly sent a letter to all of her patients stating that she was closing her practice…effective immeadately! WOW! She was one of only 2 Endos in the area.

My Internist worked his magic (as he stated that I needed to be seeing an Endo, as he doesn’t feel comfortable with my level of diabetes management) and got me an appointment with the remaining Endo. So, I am still in the traditional waiting period to see an Endo for the first time (I am in month 6 of the 9 month wait). My only issue, well, is that I have to make some decisions about what is important. Is eating more important? Is insulin more important? Can’t afford to buy gas and Insulin pump supplies. Can’t afford insurance and to go to the Dr. I make too much money for help, but not enough to help myself.

My Internist tells me to go get another job. I ask him when I am supposed to do that between my current job of 50 hours or more a week, and trying to get less stressed (as my numbers are all over the place, and he wants me on an anti-depressant that I can’t afford), and sleep on occasion or do any of the other things I have to do to live.

ARGH! Sometimes I want to take out an ad “Free to Good Home: A constant companion, Diabetes. This companion will accompany you 24/7 and is a great reminder to eat healthy, exercise, and work on time management skills. This companion requires constant attention, excellent financial management skills, a degree in Insurance Policies and Proceedures, a minor in Medicine and Pharmacology, good math skills, and an refined sense of humor. If you are interested, please call ASAP”

So, another day in my d-life. Where do we go from here? I look to the future and try to be hopeful. A change, a cure, a better understanding.