Why I Hate Diabetes

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1

I went on a big run today and it was awesome. Two hours, in the mountains, all by myself. So nice. Had my iPod on, playing tunes the whole time. It’s my way of getting away. Getting away from it all. I know there are lots of folks out there who would say, “What, you’re a type 1 diabetic, and you went running in the high mountains for two hours, by yourself, in the opposite direction of civilization?” Yes, that’s exactly what I did.

I don’t write about diabetes a lot on this blog. And that’s probably not helping me achieve one of my primary goals in establishing this blog, that of inspiring other diabetics. But, to put it mildly, I hate diabetes. I hate, hate, hate it! The one relationship that I can never get out of. The one bedmate that I can never break up with. The one bad friend that I can never say good-bye to. And that drives me crazy. Diabetes is with me ALL the time, it consumes me and dictates everything I do. And so that’s part of the reason I don’t write about it, even though I call this a “diabetic” blog.

There are so many awesome diabetic blogs out there today, and I read a lot of them. Very cool. When I was diagnosed with the ‘betes, there was so little information out there. I didn’t know anything, that’s for sure. My doctors didn’t know anything, that’s even more sure. And it was really hard to find information, stuff that was relevant to me, not some overweight 62 year old that hasn’t exercised in 50 years, and eats chocolate cake on a regular basis. That’s Type 2, and that will never be me. But that’s what the docs diagnosed me as in the beginning. Type 2, are you f**king kidding me? I didn’t take insulin for two years, as a Type 1. I am honestly not sure why I’m alive.

Sorry, little rant there. But that’s not why I started this post. I started this post because I wanted to explain a little how I feel about diabetes, and why I do what I do. Because diabetes is always with me. That is the reason, there’s the rub. I go on two hour runs because it’s the only time I forget about everything in my life. All the painful stuff, the credit cards, the lack of income and why isn’t my business exploding, the ■■■■■■ break-ups, the lack of stability in my life.

Yeah, I do long runs and rides, and then write about them, cause it helps me deal.

I do care about diabetes. I really, really do want to help. I started this blog because I want to inspire. Kids and young adults out there, don’t let the ‘betes stop you from doing anything, cause you are bigger than it. You can do it, diabetes or not.

So that’s why I run, and ski, and ride, and write about all that stuff here, because I can. I can do it, and so can you, and I hope to inspire you to do so.

As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think, or how I can help.

2

You might want to talk to some of the type 2s here. I don’t think they are all 62 years old haven’t exercised in 50 years and eating chocolate cake. That’s an old stereotype.

3

Well when I was diagnosed my doctors told my parents that as a type 1 I should not keep running. I have been a rummer since I was in high school and I still run now. Your post is inspiring. I run because it is freeing and I don’t think about my diabetes. This is awsome. I am now getting ready to do a 5k run with my niece and nephew class before they are out for the summer at the end of this month. Your post was awesome, just awesome.

I don’t think that what was said about type 2s is right it is an old sterotype. I think it was more of being pissed at the way docs diagnosed him and not to offend anyone.

4

I HATE it too. I thought I was the only one out there who HATED diabetes. We are so mis-understood by the non-diabetes world. Its a constant struggle to do what other “normal” people do. I was raised with the attitude “there was something wrong with me”…I had to HIDE it. It was like a major “defect”. I constantly strive to do what others my age can do…and some more. 56 years with D and I still hate the constant struggle. You look normal from the outside but there is a constant battle going on inside. For once, just once, I wish some of my irrational behavior can be OK with others because I am having a “low”. People say they understand but they don’t. Its nice to be able to vent !!
Sheila

5

Kathyann, you are absolutely correct about my stereotyping T2’s. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, but as soon as I wrote what I did, I knew it would offend people. I’m sorry. I was/am just pissed cause of all the things that have happened to me because of everything. I’m not bitter, and I’m getting over it. And that’s what this post was really about, how I get over it.
Please accept my apology to you and other T2’s out there.

6

I’ve been coming to realize how consuming this chemistry set is. My control is the best it’s ever been, but it’s more of a hobby. I sure spend more money and time on it than any of my hobbies. I’m nearly Borg with a sensor in my stomach and an insulin pod on my arm. I recently got a rush of excitement reading about the new lancing device from OneTouch. I’m not even sure I’m comfortable saying that here – talk about geeking out. We are never friends with our closest companion, the best we can hope for is a truce that is hard won with constant care and feeding – or not feeding as the case may be. But you do it and you run because you can. I would imagine you’re pretty prepared when you run. You bring glucose tablets and your cell phone, right? We can do anything we want so long as we plan ahead intelligently. This from a guy who has made a study of living in the moment. They say with age comes wisdom. It’ll be here any minute . . .