I treat her extremely well. I cook (pretty well I might add) and I always clean up. She is very satisfied with me in all the ways that are of import.
She just doesn't understand what the "big deal" is because I have always been so self reliant in all areas of my life. The fact that I usually don't feel it when I have hypos and I still function perfectly is a major factor in her attitude, I suppose. It sounded like a complaint and I guess it was in a way, but it wasn't intended to be a negative thing. It was more of a "she doesn't get because she has never experienced it" kind of thing. When it comes down to it, I know if I lost consciousness or anything, she would help me.
I think I would go out of my way to date a T1 diabetic, but if they weren't doing a good job (or willing/trying to) of controlling it, I might be turned off. Diabetes is manageable. I think it would make eating easier, and it would be nice to have someone working on the same problem/issue. My kids are teens though, and I might feel different if I didn't have my kids already. Diabetes is a PIA, but I've been through a lot worse in life.
But to me it is like having a common interest. Instead of having someone wanting to go out ot restaurants that you shouldn’t, maybe they’d be pushing me towards eating a salad. Supplies and equipment could be shared. We could compete wtih who has the better day on a dexcom. It’d be a lot of fun I think.
SDKate, I can introduce you to my ex wife, if you want to learn about that mindset.:(
warn niccolo to behave or we'll start looking to set him up, too.
I've notice a lot of 'strong' male personalities on this forum. It is what it is. Feels like everybody read the same book sometimes and just repeats the same stuff over and over. Nice to have a little spark from the lady's, don't you think?
I’m struck by the number of folks talking about unsupportive spouses. That seems very surprising to me. Anyone I’ve dated seriously has really relished the caretaker role (even if I don’t particularly feel the need for one), I think it’s a sort of tangible expression of love. I haven’t been married, and I suppose the dynamics can change over time, but my problem has always been people who are too concerned (yes, I’m sure my sugars are fine) rather than the other way around.
I'm LADA and my spouse ended up telling me she wanted a divorce a couple of months after I was diagnosed T1. We had gone through a very rough patch and I was hard to live with for a while, but at the same time I think some people simply aren't the care giving type.
My wife doesn't like to take care of me when my blood sugar is low, but she does it anyway, whether we're mad at each other or not. It's just like I'd rather not go on the roof to get the leaves out of the gutter, but her ankle doesn't let her do those kinds of things, and I'd rather do the work than pick her up off the ground.
She does support me, and helps me with the gutter cleaning, and I help her with the low blood sugar resolution. I'm a compliant low blood sugar person, not an angry one.
Although we didn't have the "richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" in our wedding vows, we pretty much stick to that.
Plus, she's pretty darn cute.+1, niccolo. I suspect that its a tougher situation for men to find 'supportive partners,' in the way that you mean....especially if their a bit older than us. My heart goes out to you guys. Overall, I think its harder on men to accept support, as well. They might not be as naturally inclined to seek out those characteristics in a mate. IDK.
I like both of you, niccolo and lana, and it was quite the showcase show down watching you 'go at it' for a while. Good fun! Almost enough of a battle that I wondered if there might be a love connection at the end of it. LOL. I appreciate both of your perspectives. I'll stop teasing you now and go back to teasing Terry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A
Lana, your about my age, didn't you ever listen to any Loveline growing up? I think your too sensitive about the diabetes-thing. It shouldn't get your confidence down. If you are female, then men will find you attractive and that's that.
Why might this be the case that it is tougher for men to find supportive partners?
I'm thinking many women want a spouse to take care of her by being the breadwinner and doing things for her; therefore a man who needs to be taken care of isn't worthy? Admittedly, it might be a good filter for us to find a decent mate.
Why, thank you (wink). ;)
have you considered that dating someone with diabetes would be a welcomed benefit.... finally not feeling embarrassed or ashamed of your disease. Your partner would "get it" and understand completely. yeah sure the spontaneity might get thrown out the window but at least you would have someone to talk to that understood. i think it would be nice. you will never have enough money or time but if you are fortunate enough to have someone in your life, then enjoy them. do the best you can with what you got, and don't forget to smile. :)
As always, well said and right to the point. I agree with you one hundred percent Sam!
I think I'm trying to say that men tend to be (although not always) the partner that most comfortable providing emotional and physical support. I guess I'm saying, it damages my husbands pride when he's sick or in need of emotional support, in a way that it does not damage mine. Women, I think, are more comfortable, in generally, with the fact that they might somewhat rely on the people around them. It seems like a more challenging, complex thing to navigate when I think of the men that I know and how they relate to their illnesses.
I think the most important thing is to find someone you love, and the rest is do-able.
Glad to see this OP is outta here! The question here was Would you ever date / marry someone with diabetes?
The replies are many, but just so you know your ideas and replies are being copied in a place where I suspect you don't want them. I can't imagine association with this person is desired. Here is an idea that you did not have the misfortune to see: Why I Believe Diabetics Should Not Have Children (Aka, Stop Littering The Earth!- Published on January 4, 2015 by Lana xxxxxxx) Guess what? This bit got a boat load of hits on LF's blog of garbage. I hope these ideas posted here get put away soon, they are not supportive, loving, helpful. They should be tossed away with the author. I am sorry for adding one more reply but I thought it might open some eyes and then shut a foul door.
Be well, everyone and Always Love The One Your With :)
Can you provide a link?