I don't know what I need right now... I don't want to care.
I don't want to think about this anymore
I don't want to look in the mirror and be reminded of how I let T1D get to me
I don't want this
I just want to feel normal again
I know. I shouldn't feel sorry for myself and that I should be thankful. That bad days happen and I will get through this... I AM thankful, I DON'T always sit around feeling sorry for myself and I have bad days sometimes and I know I have gotten through them...
But today is just one of those days... I just want to leave my body. Leave everyone behind and just..... breathe!
I like your idea to just breathe. Sometimes that is all I can do. It is a constant challenge for me to see T1 as just one part and not let cynicism, resentment, and self-pity bleed over into all of life.
diabetes sucks the big one. sometimes as i pack up all the D crap in my bag, i still think, almost a year in, "i cant believe that X months ago i didnt have this and now i do and its forever and how can this have possibly happened?!?". i dont know if that feeling will ever go away!
yes, I completely agree with both of you! pancreaswanted, I have had T1D for a little over 6years and its still hard to stop and think that there was actually a point in my life where there was no T1D... It gets easier with time but nonetheless its still something that is hard for me accept even after 6years.
I know exactly how you feel !! We probably all do !! I have found diabetics to be the most positive, mature, responsible people around but sometimes ARGGGGG. When I do get irritated I think well this is me, this is how it will be, its not a sickness you can make better, just work with and theres nothing you can do so no point in even thinking about it. Just rather think about everything else you love doing and love in life :) or take up kickboxing or screaming into a pillow helps :)
Char8833, I agree with you. I have gotten a LOT better about not letting T1D ruin my day because I know that there is nothing I can really do to just fix it and make it go away... and on those days that I wake up angry or irritated, I just let it take over me for a little bit and for a while I had a punching bag so I would just punch it all out, lol.... I really like the idea of kickboxing ;)
