Avoiding old habits/Health at Every Size

Mental and Emotional Wellness
#1

Hi everyone! I'm new to the forum and have been recently diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

I have a history of disordered eating that I've worked really hard to treat by being active in the size acceptance movement and practicing Health at Every Size and intuitive eating. For about 5 years my relationship with food/exercise has been pretty solid (though not perfect--I have struggled my whole life with not eating enough/not missing meals).

The really, really tough thing for me with this new diagnosis is that I'm a fat person (the only time I was less fat was when I was anorexic), so doctors make a lot of assumptions about my lifestyle based on how I look (even though I have a critical aggregate of family members with both type 1 and 2 on both sides of my family, grandparents and parents).

Now that I've been diagnosed I find my relationship with food is becoming adversarial in a way it hasn't been in years. I feel really stressed out about eating. So much of the language around diabetes is really, well diet-y sounding. It's all framed very restrictively--what you can't have, versus is optimal, and it seems like people are constantly comparing their numbers etc. So many of the forums I looked at before landing here are all about carb counting, weight loss focus, limitations, restrictions--all things that are super triggering to the starvation/cutback impulses in me that I worked so hard to overcome.

Does anyone here have success with managing diabetes in a way that incorporates intuitive eating and is weight neutral? Does anyone have advice for approaching doctors/dieticians with Health At Every Size ethos?

#2

I find working with a good nurse practitioner much more helpful than with a doctor. Many doctors really don't want to deal with behaviors/underlying issues and tend to look at numbers and assume things (in my opinion and experience). I know it is hard to find a good practitioner and I know it is a pain to go and see someone who isn't the right fit, and then to go try someone else. It is really hard to get over seeing a bad health professional.
I guess I'm not really answering your question, but I am sympathetic. I would like to learn more about intuitive eating. I have heard of the book. Are you involved in group/do you go to conferences? I have a hard time allowing myself to eat normal foods when I am "being good." (to put it in my minds's unhealthy terms)

#3

Hi there, I can relate to this as a former anorexic, it is just so difficult to keep eating, it always feel totally counterintuitive to me to eat but actually what I have found is that now I'm not a kid anymore, if I start restricting my food intake I do actually put ON weight, I have to constantly fight with my ED that wants to reward me for not eating and to see how long I can go without food, but I genuinely believe that the more I do that the less likely I am to lose weight (and I do need to I am a little overweight, not much but enough to piss me off) I think that for me I just give myself a mental slap everytime I get the ED voices because i know now that if that way actually worked for me then I wouldn't have ended up in the situation I was in

#4

Falcor

Id love to invite you to visit my website I founded: www.wearediabetes.org take a look at some of the articles posted there as well as the forum. Id highly recommend that you read anything by Geneen Roth who discusses the relationship between food and emotions. Also you can find my email address listed on the "about us" page of We Are Diabetes and you are more than welcome to email me anytime with questions or if you need some support :)

#5

Dear falcor,
in the past I had very strict ideas about what I am allowed and what I am forbidden to eat. This was because I got diabetes as a child and doctors tried to cut clear boundaries between the foods I should choose.As a result I felt very anxious about sweets. They were my most favourite food before I became diabetic. I started stopping myslef from eating them, but then at times especially when alone, I would break that boundary and try one or two and then I would just binge on them, because some part of me felt I am weak at this point and wanted to take an advantage. So ye, in my case strict control actually contributed to big anxiety and situations out of control.
What I do now is I allow myself to TRY any food in the world I feel I want. Whenever there are sweets around I know I can have a little bit if I feel I want it (i.e. 20 grams chocolate/ 2 bites from a cake...etc). It just means I take 2-3 units insulin more. This helps me feel relaxed about food and have less cravings.
What I should point out here is that the majority of my food is still diabetic-friendly, I just let myself have little bits of everything I feel I want.

#6

Dear Falcor

I am an intuitive eater in recovery with type 2 diabetes. I have binge eating disorder, have had it since 1997, I tried OA and abstinence for 13 yrs which did a real number on my self esteem every time I relapsed. I went into residential inpatient treatment in 2011 and learned all about IE and that what I had been doing was restriction/diet. You are so correct in that the language of D recovery is diet centered. I had a hard time too until I realized that the food I eat is medicine for my body to function well. Some things I eat because they are good medicine and others I avoid most of the time because they impact my health. I am currently 312 lbs and losing. My dietician has respected my treatment protocol and although it’s been changed quite a bit due to allergies I still do my best to hold onto the principles I learned. Hope this helps!