There has been one thing I've never truly had- except for the slight variations of my name that my parents come up with. However, if I had to apply one to myself as a Diabetic (and maybe even in general) it would be: Rollercoaster. Ever since my diagnosis at the age of three, my numbers have had no exact, maintained range. My numbers have always gone from low to high to normal or , as my endo calls it, the rollercoaster effect. My blood sugars are so often doing the constant raising or dropping, my body doesn't notice it. I'm the kind of person that doesn't feel their low until they're in the 30s and doesn't feel their high until it's above 300. That is until this whole Better Betics Pact came about. It's been exactly 8 days since the pact came to creation and I'm already starting to get control over this rollercoaster thing. I'm feeling my lows in the 70s and my highs in the low 200s! Unheard of for me, especially since I'm actually feeling what's going on in my body. It's really good to feel them but at the same time, it sucks. Like my bestie Andrew pointed out in his new blog, that number that shows up on the screen (or in your body) becomes a reflection of your emotions. Today was an especially hard day because I was having problems with the rollercoaster (something I haven't had in the past few days). My blood sugar would go from low where I was tired, distracted and sad to high where I was dry-mouthed, mad with a pounding headache over being high and mad about it . It's just so draining to feel like the number that appears on the screen of your meter. So, although I am still optimistic about testing and hoping for that "great!" number, I'm hesitant to see that not so hot number appear and consider the possiblity of just not knowing. You can't be upset about something you can't know, right? Thankfully, I have Andrew to discuss these feelings with and also be held accountable to him without harsh judgement not only on the number but how that number makes me feel. They say great things come in pairs and I truly believe that that statement applies to my own personal diabetes management.
End Notes that May or May Not be related to this post:
I just want to thank all of the people who have commented on either my blog or Andrews. We really apperciate the positive feedback!! So, once again, thank-you :]
To those of you who have a twitter account, I just recently got my own to talk about the Better Betics pact and try to keep an update response on my blood sugar levels as they happen (similar to what my partner in crime is doing!) So add me: www.twitter.com/luxtuavisme