Can you truly be happy with Type 1? PLEASE RESOND

Hi Pavlos…

You know, I could take exception to your statement It’s harder to be diagnosed later in life because you have lived so long with the carefree lifestyle of not being diabetic and it has become a way of life for you.. The reason is that, diagnosed as a child, I have no recollection at all of what that carefree life was. So who has it harder?

See, it’s all a matter of perspective. From where every single one of us sits, we may think we have it harder than everyone else. I can be guilty of this myself at times, but the truth of the matter is that it is hard for all of us

So let’s quit worrying about who has it worse and just try to help each other out as best we can

I am very happy with my life as a type 1 diabetic. I have always had the support of my family and I have accomplished things in my life that many non-diabetics have not been able to accomplish.

The way I look at it, I am on this earth to make a difference to others that are around me. Without a positive attitude, you can not possibly make a difference.

Is diabetes a sh***y disease? Yes, it is. Technology and medical research has really advanced and is making it far easier to live a productive and wholesome life.

To me, the glass is always full - Stress and worrying and feeling hatred towards the disease is only going to affect your well-being and make it worse. Elevated bloodsugars from stress aren’t any fun at all.

I hope this post doesn’t ■■■■ anyone off - but give it some thought.

First of all either I don’t understand what you mean or you didn’t understand what I meant. If you look at what I wrote I clearly say that I was diagnosed as a child -just like you. Just like you I have no recollection of living a carefree life. So what exactly you are taking exception to I don’t know.

Second, I am not the one here worrying about who has it worse. The only person who seems to be doing that is you. I made a minor statement of opinion, you want to lecture me on perspectives.

You think you have it bad? I’m sorry to hear that, but this discussion -I believe- is about Marty, not you.

Yes, I saw what you wrote about being diagnosed as a child.

My point simply was that I don’t believe that it is necessarily “harder” for anyone than anyone else

My opinion is that life is absolutely, without question, BEAUTIFUL. However, our emotional state and circumstances may make us feel otherwise.

This sucks and it feels a lot of the time like you have to make everyone feel like you feel like you are OK. The paradigm of thought that a lot of people have when they think about someone being sick is that it is a temporary state, and it sucks when you are going through it, but it is a state that will change. However, for us it just doesn’t. You are sick and it is stressful and it sucks and it won’t go away and it is a hard thing to communicate to people because they expect you to go back to “normal” at some point. I guess you have to think of a new way of normal.

I went camping with friends once, and we left the morning after I had a lovely case of food poisoning. I was still feeling a bit woozey, but put on a brave face because I didn’t want to be a “downer”. When we were in the grocery store getting food for the trip, one of my friend’s turned to me and asked how i was feeling and I automatically said with a smile “Fine.” She looked at me and said the most profound thing in the world, "It’s OK to not be OK."
I realized how used to making everyone else think I was OK, because I thought they needed it. Now, I am a lot more open with people that I am not fine all the time, and they will just have to deal with it. If they have a problem with me not being OK, they should change the way pharma research gets done, not my own immediate emotional state.

Well, to numb yourself from the thought and feeling of being type 1, have a good ol’ cry and exhausting but cleansing discussion(s) with a licensed mental health professional, support group, trusted friend, or all of the above.

Substance abuse, driving too fast, being mean to animals, shoplifting, developing an eating disorder, or gambling I would not recommend :slight_smile:

I can’t say I’ve ever felt happy about having diabetes. I’ve felt strong, weak, determined, exhausted, rebellious, capable, unhinged, dramatic, grumpy, and proud. But I can truly say I’m happy with the life I’m living.

And hey, even though you THINK you’ve kept your emotions hidden, you haven’t with us. And that’s a good first step in acknowledging they’re part of this disease, too. You’re not alone!

I cannot " be truly happy living with type 1 diabetes " ( 26 plus years ) , HOWEVER it has given me avenues to explore I may not have thought of before . I always felt I am missing out , because handling this disease is taking a lot of my valuable daily time ( 14 hours weekly !!! ) .One of the things I do is testing and bolus in front of my friends, associates. Hubby knows, when I behave like a devil because of a LOW or High …he is understanding and hangs in there . As I mentioned in other posts because of diabetes : …I have travelled, I have done marathons and shorter walks , I met an awesome group of people in my last 26 years .
Marty , I ask of you the same …be empowered by those around you and be well

Hi Marty,

I honestly can’t answer can one be truly happy with Type 1. I was certainly happier before I was diagnosed, can tell you that. But as is true for most humans, we never appreciate what we have until it’s gone. I cried, was angry a lot at first. When no one was around, I’d sob wanting my life back, my old life. Then I decided that I’d play the cards I was dealt as best I could & try to look forward, not back.

I also put on a brave face to those closest to me. Very uncharacteristic because I’m a direct, no bs kind of person (not a good poker player at all!). My husband was devastated at seeing me near death & I couldn’t bear for him to worry any more than he already was. I so didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. Also, it drove me nuts to be asked every 30 minutes how I was feeling. I bottled up way more than I should have for fear of being a whiner. The plan back-fired & I should have known better. All my fears & holding deep inside how I was truly feeling came out in less positive ways. I was cranky & depressed for the first time in my life.

So, to the casual question asked, my answer is “fine.” Does anyone really want to hear:) To the people I love & who love me, I say how I do feel. Not letting them in hurts them by shutting them out & also hurts us by separating us from ourselves & from the people who care about us.

Eventually, treating diabetes just becomes part of a routine – like putting in contact lenses or shaving. No, it’s certainly not as easy as those examples, but it’s something that you deal with without questioning it.

What makes you happy? For me, it’s seeing my son grow up; or watching a good hockey playoff game on TV; or our annual family Father’s Day barbecue; or wasting time on Facebook; or a nice vacation.

You’ve got a beautiful girlfriend and family who support you unconditionally. I’m sure they make you happy, and I’m sure they made you happy before you were diagnosed. You can still do all those things you did before, there’s just a few more things to add to your routine.

Yes, you can absolutely be happy. Or you can be miserable. The difference is based on how you look at life, and how you respond to the cards you’ve been dealt. Don’t be discouraged by what you can’t control, and enjoy the things that you can.

I’m happier now than I’ve been in my entire life, because I’m healthy. Sure it was a shock when I was diagnosed, I had my “why me?” moments, but when I was diagnosed I was just as miserable. My health was terrible, I weighed 120lbs and I just looked all around sick. Now, 6months after diagnoses I’ve put on over 30lbs, have plenty of energy, and am all around just a more happy person.

As crazy as it sounds, in hindsight diabetes might be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m healthier and happier than I’ve ever been BECAUSE I’m diabetic Nothing bothers me more when people find out I’m diabetic for the first time and they feel the need to feel sorry for me. No one should feel sorry for any of us. We are in this situation and its up to us to deal with it and live our lives to the fullest.

I have been type 1 for 39 years, and I will state, the food industry has taken great strides to help the diet community, and us. To share a little history, take 4 ounces of diet coke, add 2 packages of Sweet and Low to it, and add 1/2 tspn of cold coffee. That is what diet pop tasted like in 1970. You have no idea how much has been done for diet products. Be happy and think about this. I was diagnosed in 1970 - I hated diet products. I love them today. If you want, take the time to look at the evolution of diet food products, I live in Canada, and met the man who, created the placemat for McDonalds, and the back side has the carb count for everything.

The world is, in their own way, is taking care of obesity, and the diabetics. Recognize it and be happy. My favorite website is www.calorieking.com. If you have not used it yet, do so. It gives the nutritional value, and amount of exercise, to burn off the calories for the product you review.

Hope it helps

Look at the food choices positively, not negatively.,

I do not hate being a diabetic. I live in Canada, a country that created insulin, and I will not fuss about having technology that makes me live a healthy life. I will put my fight and attitude towards diabetes and other medical issues, that do not have the control we do

I have never really considered the thought that being a Type 1 (.5) diabetic could keep me from being happy - I am certainly not always happy - I sometimes suffer from depression that is not related to my diabetes - and I admit that when I am dealing with depression, controlling diabetes can seem an insurmountable problem - but generally I just consider diabetes a part of my life (as it has been for the past 33 years since I was 28). I was probably not happy when I was first diagnosed (as a type 2 wrongly) because until I switched to an endo who put me on insulin immediately, my disease was not under control & I did not feel well physically or emotionally. I felt so much better once I started shots and BS (versus urine) testing that I found them blessings instead of burdens. And now that I have a pump and a CGMS, I think I am as close to ‘normal’ as a diabetic can be.
My happiness is based much more on my personal relationships, my life situation & my spiritual state than on my diabetes. Since I have always kept my diabetes under good (but not perfect) control, I have not had to worry about complications except for hypos, which have never been bad enough for me to require medical assistance. Maybe the fact that my control is good (A1C between 6&7) but not perfect makes it easier to be happy. There is no food that I will not have on occasion, so I do not feel deprived that way - and the pump and testing I just consider a great tool that helps me stay healthy. (although my pump is named ‘Peter Pump’ so I have someone to yell at when ‘he’ gives me high BS alarms that I do not expect - or when ‘he’ nags me to calibrate my sensor when I am busy)
I attended a funeral today of a friend from church who was only 2 years older than I. She was diagnosed with MS in 1973 - I was diagnosed with diabetes in 1976. I am probably in almost as good of health now as I was then (although I do need to lose some weight at the moment). She went steadily down hill - first requiring a cane to walk, then a walker - then a scooter - and finally a wheel chair that was powered by her breath as she could not use either her hands or her legs at the end. A recurrent theme of the talks at her funeral was that she never complained - I am sure she did not enjoy having MS and having it steal her life - but she did enjoy the life she had as much as she could - she especially enjoyed having her family around her - and I like to think that at times she was indeed as happy as she appear to those around her. At least 2 of the people at the funeral have MS themselves - I can hardly imagine how they must have felt watching someone else suffer complications that might be theirs someday. (and one of these 2 is also a Type 1 diabetic - how’s that for a reason not to be happy! - yet he seems to be doing ok)
I am currently at the home of another family from church watching their 4 older children while they take their year old son back to the hospital yet again - he was born with heart defects that have required multiple surgeries already and has spent over half his young life in a hospital - the last time he came home (2 days ago) he came with a respirator (as well as the feeding tube he has had for months) - I just heard from them that they will have to leave him there for a few days until they can obtain the nighttime nursing care they were promised (but did not receive) so that they can have him home without requiring that one of them be awake at all times. Another young couple (early 20’s) I know just recently buried their 18 month old son after he died of complications of going without oxygen for over 5 minutes when he suffered a severe allergic reaction while eating.
So am I happy as a diabetic - YES - would I be happier if I were not a diabetic? - probably not - I would be less stressed for sure - but I can’t think of anything that being diabetic has kept me from doing - from having children - to traveling to Europe - to having a successful career in the computer field. (Well ok - I avoid hot tubs while wearing my sensor - but I don’t consider that a great sacrifice) Do I feel that diabetes has given me a tough life - not really when compared to others I know. I have a loving husband (34 years of marriage this coming Oct) who puts up with my stubbornness & orneriness when my BS are low, We have 6 children who I am proud to have call me ‘Mom’ & who are also pretty adept at recognizing their mom’s ‘hypo’ behavior long before she does - 8 beautiful grandchildren (and the hope of more to come some day since my 2 youngest are not yet married) - our finances are ok even though my husband was recently laid off and chose to take early retirement I am also retired) - I have great friends & great relatives & time to spend with them. I live in a location that is breathtakingly beautiful when the sun shines (WA state) - and now that my husband is no longer working he might actually finish redoing our deck before the summer is done - in short, Life is Sweet!

I’ve been diabetic for 24 yrs now and I do not remember life before being diagnosed. I was only 5 at the time. Yes it has made my life harder, Yes I had all kinds of days where I wished I was like all the other kids, but now after I managed to make it out of high school alive and made it through my dating years (which by the way I was very paranoid through - not wanting anyone to know I was diabetic, why I’ll never know) I am now married to a very understanding man who helps me with my diabetes and other health problems and I am happy. I think since I’ve had my whole life to deal with it and spent my years dealing with it that I had my days where I felt depressed but they will pass and it will get easier to deal with the diabetes and finger poking and everything else that comes along with diabetes. One thing that might make this a little easier for you would possibly be a pump. I swore off them for years, but finally just started the Omni pod in March this year and things have been so much easier after the intial getting things set up.
I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your diabetes and hope you will count your blessings that you have what sounds like a great support system and will learn not to hide your emotions from them but the let them help you be happy. Sometimes us diabetics do have a little luck with counseling if that is something you could handle trying. Sometimes it’s better to get that outside perspective rather than from your close loved ones, sometimes you stay strong for them and it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t have to stay strong for.
I hope you can find your happiness again!

Hi Marty-
I’m so glad you found this site so you could start sharing how you are feeling emotionally. Welcome to this world that you never wanted to be a part of! :slight_smile: While this site is amazing and the support incredible, I think all of us would rather not need it.

So, as I am reading your post, I start to cry because I remember just how you feel. It’s been about a year since I was diagnosed T1, and the way I felt at 3 months, was like I wanted to stand still. People would tell me they had it a year or more and that seemed like an eternity to me! I wanted to stay still, because then I would be closer to my old self. If I kept moving forward, I would get further away from my old pre-diagnosis self that I was desperately holding on to.

Being diagnosed is TRAUMATIC. It’s a huge loss (of your former life), one that you must grieve. Cry every day if you need. Be angry. Feel what you are feeling. Feelings are NEVER wrong. They are your feelings. (it’s what we do with them that can be wrong sometimes) You have just lost the most important “self” of your entire life: YOU! For me, its almost like I had to grieve the loss of myself, and accept that I will be reborn in this D life.

I remember people telling me to “take one day at a time”. I remember thinking, “One day? Are you serious?” A day felt like an eternity since my days were now carefully calculated and broken down into 2 hr segments and like you wrote, a daily reminder of 4 injections, not to mention the 8-10 bg sticks. There is no break, there is no vacation. Not if you want to be healthy that is. I remember the first time I DIDN’T think about it for 2 hours. Wow…that felt good. I decided to take it moment by moment, instead of day by day. I realized that a whole day is way too long and what starts off “good” (D management wise) may have so many bumps in it, you can’t call it “good” later. So: moment by moment.

I also remember I stopped being so private about everything. I was born with a blood disorder and had always been so private about that until people needed to know. But this is different. It involves food. You are on life-suppot 4 times a day. There is no hiding it. People around you need to know. So I started telling everyone, even random people. Which helped because then I started meeting people: real live people with Type 1. One was a Whole Foods worker who was helping me find these “low carb” snack bars and I told him why they had to be THAT type. If I decided to be my “old” super private self, he wouldn’t have known and shared his experience as a newly diagnosed T1. At that point I was about 5 months in. I remember so clearly him telling me “it took me a year for me to stop being so angry about it”. Wow. A year? Something about that gave me permission to spend more time…feeling so sad. I think I was rushing myself to hurry up and get to a place of positivity and happiness. But hearing that? I felt like I could go through the motions…GRIEVE. I felt I would get to where I needed to be WHEN it was right. And you know what? One year later, its ever so slightly better. Actually sometimes I go many, many hours without thinking about it. At 3 months in though? It felt all consuming, like I would never be otherwise occupied in my mind. But I finally allowed myself to grieve.

And I did. And we all do. And we continue to. And it sucks. And you will never be the same. And where you are right now, its not always possible to just make a “choice” to be happy. Clearly, you WANT to be happy. Feelings of depression like this are not from a woe is me place or because you want to feel bad. I know you want to feel good again. You will feel better. But it will never be the same. How could it? Will you be happy? I sure hope so. But keep reaching out to everyone, tell your family and girlfriend, know that you will make it through this.

Don’t waste time thinking about how it could be “worse”. Things could ALWAYS be worse. That doesn’t help depression. This is not a contest or a competition. You have to grieve what you have LOST and then learn to accept what you now have to deal with.

Also, the whole “diagnosed in childhood or adulthood: which is worse?” thing is hard too. I felt at first like I had my life snatched out from me after having enjoyed it D free for so long (34 years) that it was a cruel, cruel thing. And thinking kids diagnosed had it “better” somehow because that’s all they know. But I realized that this is because those who have had it since childhood are not just used to it, they have had a long time to go through all kinds of stages and changes that the newbies are just entering. It really is like being reborn. So many of us adult T1 newbies become like babies and angst filled teenagers, as we pass through the stages, whereas the “elders” of the community can say things very different from how we feel, because we haven’t had enough EXPERIENCE like them to have their wisdom. Right now, I am at a place where I am SO thankful I had such a “good run” D-free in my life. I’m glad I knew life another way.

I don’t believe that people “get over” trauma. I believe they get “through it”. Slight distinction, but important. You will get through this. And you don’t have to be positive about it along the way. Just please hold on to the thought that one day, it will get better. I thought the clouds would never go away. I thought the sun would never shine again, or longer than 2 hours at a time? Guess what? Sometimes the sun shines the whole day now! But you won’t be able to see it or feel it until you are ready. Just keep those sunglasses close. You’ll need them again.

Beatifully put, Jean! And everyone. I for one appreciate your post, Marty because it has allowed all of us…newbies and “elders” to reflect on our lives, our feelings and our hope.

Marty as time goes by, you will settle into a routine and once acceptance begins things , with discipline will become second nature, please realize that you can do anything you want check this story for confirmation of this (http://tinyurl.com/pmk3ou)

wow there is alot of responses to this thread! I felt the same way when i was diagnosed, i didn’t feel anything really. I didn’t try to be overly positive I just kinda “accepted it.” Well when i started to realize how i could abuse my diabetes, by cheating and eating whatever or skipping a dose, then i got a smack of reality! I have felt angry about having to confront diabetes, guitlity because i never did what i was expected from me, and denial that i would be okay when i was really feeling bad from not taking care of myself (i think that is a ongoing struggle even for me now, i bounce back and forth from very good diabetic to bad one because of little things like not going grocery shopping or forgeting my meter. These things give me the excuse to just forget i’m diabetic for a little while)
It’s really hard to want to be a good diabetic when i’d rather just eat like a normal person who doesn’t have to carry around a meter or do injections. After that you just get angry that you have to do put in all this work while some days just don’t go the way you want. I still get angry and upset, especially with lows or when my eating and injecting of medicine prove to work against me. Just remember it’s the small things that matter, like a good number on the meter or a day where you figured out how include your fave food. Also remember not to sweat the small stuff and that tomorrow is another day to start all over new.

well to put it plainly… a nurse once asked me "well do you want to die…"
i said well of course not. That kinda answers it. Also i felt horrible when i didn’t test my sugar, i just slept and layed around. I feel semi normal with good blood sugars, no utis/constant urination, yeast infections or skin infections to bother me!

also i think the goal is to get used to your diabetes: checking sugars injecting meds, as if it was like brushing your teeth: a mindless act that you pretty much know you have to do.

You can be as happy as you decide to be, whether you have Type 1 or not. There are plenty of unhappy people without T1. Why are they unhappy? Who knows, but T1 has nothing to do with it. There are people with severe physical disabilities who are the happiest people in the world. Why? Don’t know, but T1 has nothing to do with it.

A bad number doesn’t define you any more than a high temperature defines a person with the flu. A finger prick is only a reminder, it’s not your life. It’s not like we have to haul a wheelchair out of the back seat every time we get out of the car.

You say your family gives you more support than you deserve. WTF? Why are you dissing their support? Are they stupid or something? Do they not know what they’re doing? Honor their support by being grateful for it instead of dismissing it as wasted on the likes of you. If they are worthy people (they are) then their support is worthy and is given to a worthy person - you.

Having T1 doesn’t make us especially cursed. We weren’t condemned by any divine being to get it. We just got it. The only divinity involved is in the grace we receive to handle it like adults.

You’ve also been divinely given intelligence to combat this disease, medicine and technology to maintain your health and family and friends to support you. If T1 is a divine curse then you have received threefold divine gifts to help you deal with it.

Terry

Man up, dude.