I’ve had Type 1 now for just a little over 3 months. My friends, family, and doctors all agree that I have handled the situation very well. The day I was released from the hospital I kept a positive attitude and since havent shown much emotion about my diagnosis. When people ask, “how is having diabetes?” i usually respond with something along the lines of “its really sucks, but its just something I have to deal with”. I usually dont go into much depth because it reminds me of how ■■■■■■ shots and finger pricks can be.
I feel like I mask over my pain and suffering from the disease by acting happy and showing no signs of depression. I feel like I have to work so hard to stay happy, when all it takes is a single shot or bad glucose level to make me wanna break down and cry.
I have a beautiful girlfriend and family who all support me more than I feel i deserve. I try my best to not let this disease get a hold of me and change my life any more than it has.
But i can’t help but think if i will ever be happy. Its discouraging to work so hard to not let my emotions show when inside it absolutely kills me. Another reason I do not let my emotions show is because I feel as though it puts a burden on those around me. My gf and parents work so hard and sacrifice so much to help me with my disease and I feel that if I show them how much this disease affects me they will have the same sense of helplessness that I have.
How can I be happy when I am reminded 4 times a day that for some divine reason I was given a chronic disease?
I want to somehow numb myself from the thought and feeling of being type 1, yet I have no idea where to begin.
If you made it this far down in the post… thank you, I really appreciate the support.
I have a counterquestion, however… Is anyone (diabetic or not) truly happy? If, by “truly happy,” we mean happy ALL THE TIME… I don’t think so. There’s good days and bad - and, right now, you’re in the middle of some bad ones. There will be good ones in the future!
My diabetes (which I have lived with more than 1/2 my life - diagnosed at 15, and now I’m 37) has been more than overshadowed by other experiences in my life. My wedding day and the birth of my daughter (among other life experiences) gave me joy and happiness - sometimes I think that I feel happier than a lot of folks who DON’T have chronic health issues - simply because I recognize that each day is a gift. Had I been born 100 years earlier, I wouldn’t have lived this long.
Mind you, I also have good days and bad. On bad days (or bad moments) my reply might be less upbeat. But, thank God, there ARE good days.
One thing I’ve learned - if you try to act as if your diabetes is not bothering you and you are handling things fine - SOME people in your life will interpret that to mean that you aren’t really “taking it seriously”. To your girlfriend, who may hope to have a future with you, that could be more upsetting than hearing how you really feel. Partners are there for support. Particularly if you are considering spending your life with this girl, you need to be able to trust her with this. If it tests her strength, and the strength of your relationship, that isn’t a bad thing. It takes strength to BE a diabetic, but my DH of 14 years can tell you it takes strength to be married to one also. Of course, we KNOW we’re totally worth it!
Best wishes - if you ever wanna chat, drop a line!
I was diagnosed with type 1 about five years ago. I have to agree it is hard to be happy sometimes. And if it’s only been about three months for you you’re probably going through one of the worst stages. In the beginning it’s all so overwhelming! It’s still overwhelming, don’t get me wrong, but after all this time it’s started to become second nature. Right now you’re not used to this stuff. You still remember “the good ol days” when you didn’t have to worry about all this stuff. Eventually this will become your life and you will do all of these things without thinking so much about them. It does get easier! I’m not gonna lie, some days I just wanna forget the whole thing and pretend I’m normal, but I have to say I have more good days than bad now. Don’t give up! And as for hiding it from your friends and family to somehow protect them, you’re not doing anyone any good. I know there’s a very fine line between keeping too much in and dragging everyone down with it, but you need to learn to let some of this out. Tell your loved ones how much it sucks sometimes! And when they get tired of hearing it, you can always come here. I’ve only been using this site for a couple months but it’s been a lifesaver. It really makes you feel like you always have someone who will understand! Good luck with everything. Hang in there
I’ve had diabetes for a long time and I can say I am truly happy. For lots of reasons, but the one thing I want to share with you is that it is indeed a hassle and a burden and you have every right and reason to feel the way you do. But remember this about your chronic disease - it can be managed and controlled and lived with and you will have good days and bad days, but so do also those folks you are protecting. Take care, Marty!
I don’t have diabetes, but my daughter, almost 2 year old was diagnosed with Type 1 at 8 months. Even though diabetes is not part of my body, it is very much a big part of my life, and I feel the same bouts of helplessness, grief and a sometimes overwhelming feeling that this is our new life and there is nothing that can change it. I feel very sad to have to hold down my daughter to give her injections, or when I find blood on her sheets from her finger poke the night before. I don’t know why we were chosen for this and sometimes I feel quite jilted by it all (as I’m sure you do as well).
If I can offer any words of encouragement, it might be that it truly does make you appreciate every good thing just that much more. Just think of all the people walking around out there without your sense of awareness and all the good things that they can’t feel or see right in front of them because they’ve never dealt with adversity. The feelings that seem to go with diabetes are much like the highs and lows of the disease. If you can learn to anticipate them, read them and adjust, you can deal with them and keep everything “between the lines”. I wish you much luck with your learning process and fingers still tightly crossed for a cure : )
Marty, I have had Diabetes now for 5 months. I think I am happier now than I ever was in my life. I don’t fake happiness to make others think I am OK or so they won’t worry about me. I appreciate everything much more now. If there is something I want to do, I do it. I used to put everything off, work all the time, save and invest every penny, be overly frugal, and most of all I made sure I didn’t have any fun in life. All of this went out the window when I got D, I still get sick, have high BS when I cannot exercise, but I make it a point to savor every minute when I am well enough to get on the computer, take a walk, go to church, go out with friends, play with my niece, talk with my Mom, go out of town, wake up not feeling crappy…sometimes I am just happy to wake up and be able to breath(I have Asthma a lot of the time). I don’t think there is a divine reason for Diabetes, but I am not going to worry about the answer until I get to heaven. I can’t change the way things already are…I can only react to them. The Bible says “As a man thinks in his heart, he is…”
Me…personally…no I cannot be happy with having diabetes. It sucks. I have not had this my whole life. I got it 12 years ago at 33 years old so I was already an adult. I had a very healthy lifestyle so for me having diabetes did not promote healthier eating, exercise, etc. as some others felt diabetes did to them.
However, what choice do we have in becoming diabetic? This is the way it is. The choice we have is on how to deal with it. Try to manage it as best as possible. The frustration you’ll find with diabetes is that it always throws you a curve so you have to constantly adapt to it and not judge it as good or bad behavior.
Nonetheless, there are other things in life that make you happy. As you get used to having diabetes, you realize that it becomes a way of life and isn’t that bad especially compared to other diseases. Try to focus on staying healthy, learning about the best management for you and then enjoying the other things in your life. It’s really a process so try not to be so overwhelmed right now. Good luck and I hope the best for you! Peter
Before I give my two cents on this, I should say that you are one lucky guy. You are surrounded by people who would love and support you through this.
Happiness is more of a choice than a state of being. Having to deal with the insulin, medications, pricks, or what have you can be a pain in the neck a lot of times. But, at the end of the day, being able to go through this would give you that pride and satisfaction that you were able to live one more day. For me, this is how I become truly happy with my diabetes.
grieving the loss of your good health is a process and it takes a long time.
I have diabetes 31 years, bro - and I have gone from absolute numbness and denial, to intense anger and resentment regarding my diabetes, to (very recently) a state of acceptance. It was a long road for me, BECAUSE I kept my feelings inside for the first 25 Years.
Don’t be like me. Talk about it, scream and yell, cry, and break things if you want to. DO NOT go numb, it’s a recipe for disaster, or if you follow my past, a set-up for many years of depression.
If you told me that you could cure my diabetes, but you would have to take away the joy I have had, all these past years, I would keep the diabetes. Think about it. I am on a lot if you wanna talk just say.
I am so very “grateful” for my family and friends, they have made it possible for me to be happy with this diabetes. I always talk to someone, or cry, or rant and rave, and I have to say…I would not be happy, if it was not for them and helping me deal.
My husband always tells me “Wonder if it was the reverse, and I had it or our daughters/grandbabies, had it, You would do the same for us as we do for you”.
