I’ve had Type 1 now for just a little over 3 months. My friends, family, and doctors all agree that I have handled the situation very well. The day I was released from the hospital I kept a positive attitude and since havent shown much emotion about my diagnosis. When people ask, “how is having diabetes?” i usually respond with something along the lines of “its really sucks, but its just something I have to deal with”. I usually dont go into much depth because it reminds me of how ■■■■■■ shots and finger pricks can be.
I feel like I mask over my pain and suffering from the disease by acting happy and showing no signs of depression. I feel like I have to work so hard to stay happy, when all it takes is a single shot or bad glucose level to make me wanna break down and cry.
I have a beautiful girlfriend and family who all support me more than I feel i deserve. I try my best to not let this disease get a hold of me and change my life any more than it has.
But i can’t help but think if i will ever be happy. Its discouraging to work so hard to not let my emotions show when inside it absolutely kills me. Another reason I do not let my emotions show is because I feel as though it puts a burden on those around me. My gf and parents work so hard and sacrifice so much to help me with my disease and I feel that if I show them how much this disease affects me they will have the same sense of helplessness that I have.
How can I be happy when I am reminded 4 times a day that for some divine reason I was given a chronic disease?
I want to somehow numb myself from the thought and feeling of being type 1, yet I have no idea where to begin.
If you made it this far down in the post… thank you, I really appreciate the support.