Can you truly be happy with Type 1? PLEASE RESOND

Type 1 and LADA
1

I’ve had Type 1 now for just a little over 3 months. My friends, family, and doctors all agree that I have handled the situation very well. The day I was released from the hospital I kept a positive attitude and since havent shown much emotion about my diagnosis. When people ask, “how is having diabetes?” i usually respond with something along the lines of “its really sucks, but its just something I have to deal with”. I usually dont go into much depth because it reminds me of how ■■■■■■ shots and finger pricks can be.

I feel like I mask over my pain and suffering from the disease by acting happy and showing no signs of depression. I feel like I have to work so hard to stay happy, when all it takes is a single shot or bad glucose level to make me wanna break down and cry.

I have a beautiful girlfriend and family who all support me more than I feel i deserve. I try my best to not let this disease get a hold of me and change my life any more than it has.

But i can’t help but think if i will ever be happy. Its discouraging to work so hard to not let my emotions show when inside it absolutely kills me. Another reason I do not let my emotions show is because I feel as though it puts a burden on those around me. My gf and parents work so hard and sacrifice so much to help me with my disease and I feel that if I show them how much this disease affects me they will have the same sense of helplessness that I have.

How can I be happy when I am reminded 4 times a day that for some divine reason I was given a chronic disease?

I want to somehow numb myself from the thought and feeling of being type 1, yet I have no idea where to begin.

If you made it this far down in the post… thank you, I really appreciate the support.

2

Marty, sometimes hiding our feelings about something makes it worse, where letting it out can be a relief. It sounds like you have lots of feelings you are trying to push down such as sadness, fear and anger. People around you can only respond to what they see, so if you are saying “it’s cool” they probably feel they need to accept that even if they know you well enough not to quite believe it. I understand yoúr not wanting to “burden them” but I am guessing the people who love you would be glad to support you through this emotionally. If you really don’t feel comfortable talking with them about your feelings, though, there are other options. This forum was a great place to start because we all understand what you are going through. But you need to share your feelings with “live people” as well. Some possibilities are a therapist or a diabetic support group. Ask your doctor to refer you. There you will be able to share your feelings without worrying about burdening people. And if you attend a group you will realize that you are not alone and that other people feel some of the same things you do.

Why am I suggesting you need to talk about your feelings? Because “stuffing” your feelings makes it worse. It causes more stress and can even make you physically sick! All the effort that goes into pushing feelings down is more stressful than letting them out! Letting them out will feel like a relief. You have every right to be sad, angry or scared or anything else you are feeling. Allow yourself those feelings and share them with someone and the other benefit is you won’t feel so alone.

3

Marty! i know exactly how you are feeling.
i was diagnosed only 4 months ago.
Trust me, its ok to wonder “why me” and be frustrated with this disease.
I have even cried a few times.
when my family asks “whats wrong?” and i try to explain, they just tell me its just something i have to deal with and it’s not a big deal. But they don’t know how much it affects us emotionally because they will never have to deal with diabetes themselves.
So like i was saying, its ok to get frustrated sometimes because it can get tough.
The key is to NOT let those emotions get the best of you, and think about how many other great things you have. [i know i used to get annoyed when people would tell me that, but its the truth!]
and Yes, you will be happy! once you get more used to everything and get your “diabetes” routine down, everything will become easier and you wont have to focus on it as much!
Things will get better i promise, there are MANY people who have great, happy lives that live with diabetes!

4

I’ve had T1 for 11 years. I’m 24 now- BUT I can say that I’m truly happy.
Yes T1 sucks- Yes I’ve been hospitalized about 20 times over the years including Intensive Care, seizures, insulin shock comas, etc. I’ve been through a lot. I’ve seen death knocking more than anyone I know. I’ve cried and screamed and fought the doctors and my friends, but it’s a part of allowing the chronic disease to get under your skin.

Once you’ve dealt with it for a while, you’ll start thinking of it as “something you have to do” instead of “this chronic disease that is dragging me down”. It’ll be okay. It’s alright to feel badly- just keep remembering to pick yourself up again.

We all have something that we deal with. Every single person has something that they wish they could change about themeselves. And every single person has a different idea of what “devestating” is. It’s all a matter of perspective.

Living with D is a challenge and it’s a journey. There’ll be days when you’ll think it really isn’t that bad- or atleast people don’t look and know that you’re D based off of appearance alone. Then, there’ll be days when you just don’t want to deal at all and your gf or mom will have to push you to get through those moments. There’ll be days when you can’t imagine dealing with this day in and day out for the REST OF YOUR LIFE and it’ll seem like such a dismal future…

BUT you’ll get through it. And if you feel like you can’t, this community is really great.

Every person here knows what you’re feeling and what you’re going through. I’ve only joined here a few weeks ago and I’ve already learned so much- from research to things about myself that I didn’t discover until I started to write on these forums. It’s really good therapy!

So, hang in there. It’s tough- I know, but you’ll get through it.

Just think- they’ve been working on a cure for T1 for, what, 20 years now? They HAVE to be getting closer somehow, right?

Chin up, Marty, you’ll be fine.

5

I think sometimes we all need grief counseling regarding this disease. It really is quite a loss. But, the counseling is to help us look at it positively, and be grateful for what we DO have!

Take care, and know that you are not alone!

6

Not to be a debbie downer here, but for me personally, the answer is no. I cannot be as happy as I was before diabetes. It isn’t that I’m never happy- I am sometimes. But generally speaking I am too preoccupied with managing my diabetes to enjoy the things that bring me happiness on a consistent basis.

7

Absolutely you can be happy with the big D!! :slight_smile:

Honestly, I think it just takes time. You were just diagnosed a few months ago I cant even imagine what you are feeling…I was diagnosed so young that it was harder for my parents than me at the time
BUT I definitely have my bad times - when I absolutely hate this disease and feel likes it taking over my whole life!! LOL When that happens I try to take a step back and regroup.

I totally understand the feeling that you are burdening others…This, I think, is one of the great points for TuDiabetes! We can come here and vent about how frustrating things are without feeling like we are burdening others bc we ALL understand where you are coming from. With that said, keep talking to your family and GF…they need to know how you feel so that they can help you through things. They may not completely understand but I’m sure they will put out some major effort to help you cope. :slight_smile:

At this point I’m sure it feels like your D is the focus of your every day…soon you will get into a routine and it will become just another part of your life and those moments of sadness and frustration will fade, no they wont go away, but instead of being all you think about they will just be there occasionally.

In no time you will find yourself laughing at the goofy parts of this disease…like the other morning when I thought my hubby was coming in for a kiss but really he was just getting close to peel a used test strip off my neck!! LOL

8

hahaha. Or the time that I used to wear my pump and we went to bed- I woke up to my fiance jumping around the room in a sleepful fit because he couldn’t figure out where the alarm was coming from.

He had laid on my pump and the alarm went off letting me know that I wasn’t getting dosages. haha.

9

As others have said, you get used to it. I got it years ago, when I was a little kid, so I just sort of think of myself as being diabetic in the same way I’m female or I have red hair and freckles (stupid freckles). It’s not fair, and I really wish I weren’t, but there’s nothing I can do to make it go away (just like I can’t get rid of my freckles).

I don’t really remember being diagnosed, and, since I was young at the time, I didn’t really understand the implications, so I can’t really tell you what works to get over a diagnosis. Maybe it’s not something you ever really “get” over. But there are some positives. I think diabetes tends to make you more responsible (which is probably a good thing). Plus you’re more likely to try to get a responsible job with good insurance, instead of spending years as a bartender or something (which, while not pleasant, is probably a good thing).

I think a lot of it, though, has to do with the sort of person you are, and that’s not something you can really change. If you’re someone who’s prone to anxiety and worry (like me!), then you tend to go to the hospital a lot and test a lot, and diabetes tends to cause more problems, at least in the short term. However, if you’re more laid-back, I think once you get over the initial diagnosis, it’s not to bad. [Side note: That’s totally my own personal opinion, and I have no evidence to back it up, but it makes sense in my mind.]

10

I saw your post, and wanted to make sure I responded to this one. I was diagnosed with type 1.5 about a year ago. I also am in accounting, have a supportive wife.

I’m going to let the cat out of the bag…Diabetes sucks!..But can you truly be happy?..Absolutely.

My dad was diagnosed with an enlarged heart back in the 60’s when he was in his twenties. Was told he would not live to see the age of 30. I was born in '72 and he lived until the age of 58. (Still pretty young, I know) He took pretty good care of himself and saw good Doctors throughout his illness. Either by accident or design, he ended up being a local cheerleader to other heart patients in the community where I grew up.

As a boy, I remember him visiting an acquaintance who had had open heart surgery and was recovering. His quote was “Hurts like a son of a ■■■■■ doesn’t it!” It would always bring a smile to others faces knowing that they were not the only ones going through recovery.

The quote I use when people ask me about my diabetes is: “It pretty much F*!@ing sucks!” (remember, I am a mild mannered accountant…) It pretty much shuts up the people who don’t really care or don’t want to talk about it, and you can talk to the people who really do care with a little humor. It helps a little.

I like to think that although I was diagnosed with a chronic disease, it could be a lot worse. One of my best friends was diagnosed with brain cancer a few years ago. After six weeks he was pretty much not himself anymore, and a few months later he was dead. After seeing that, giving yourself shots everyday doesn’t seem so bad. After all, it beats the alternative…lol

I try to control my diabetes, and not let it control me. Granted, sometimes its baby steps, but I don’t feel that I have given up much of anything truly important to me.

I feel that sooner or later, when anyone gets a diagnosis such as this everyone is faced with a choice. To take care of themselves an move on with life, let themselves die, deny that anything is wrong. Seems to me from your post, that you made the right choice, but are feeling a little sorry for yourself. Its ok for a while. But it shouldn’t last forever.

I did cry,just a little :wink: when I was first told the news I was going to be insulin dependent. Its ok.

Insulin pumps are great. My brother asked me how I liked it, and before I could answer we said “Must not be to great when you got to be hooked up with a tube all the time” He is pretty much right…lol…But giving yourself shots is the most unnatural thing ever.

BTW CPA exam sucks…

Michael

11

I can’t really add anything new here except repeat what so many others have already said. To answer your question yes you can be truly happy again. It’s harder to be diagnosed later in life because you have lived so long with the carefree lifestyle of not being diabetic and it has become a way of life for you. I was diagnosed young and so I have very few memories of not being type 1 diabetic. But I am very happy with my life.

Keep in mind that you weren’t diagnosed with a toothache. This is a major diagnosis, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are normal and to be expected. Honestly if I knew you before the diagnosis and then saw how you were handling it after it I would be more worried about that than what you are telling us here today. Those feelings will pass.

What you are going through is a variation of the Kübler-Ross model first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. You might know it as the five stages of grieving. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Since you are not facing an imminent threat to your mortality you will experience this differently, but the principle is the same. Some of us skip one step or another but we have all been there. The important part is that in the end is acceptance.

Definitely don’t hide your feelings. Don’t worry about burdening you friends and family, they love you and they won’t resent you for telling them how you feel. My daughter might only be 8 months old but I know that I would heartbroken if she carried such a weight on her shoulders and felt that it was hers to carry alone. As a parent I can tell you that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her and there is no burden she could put on my shoulders that I couldn’t carry. As far as your girlfriend I can’t say because I don’t know you guys, but if love is in the air the same applies.

Being here is step one, and a very good step in my opinion because here you will find very many happy diabetics and a very good support group. And if you gotta cry nobody will think any less of you.

12

Hmm,

I was diagnosed the week before Thanksgiving, in 1979.

There are a lot of things my Doctors told me back then, but they never told me I had to like it.

Ivan!

13

omg- here! here! I cried yesterday, out of the blue mind you, because of the mere THOUGHT of a cure for T1. I started freakin bawling. I felt like a moron, but I obviously feel very strongly about a chance to be free of D.

Hey, that should be a shirt- “Free of the D!”

14

Marty

I"m close to the same place you are right now. i was diagnosed a month ago, and all I really want is to go back in time and somehow undo this horrible horrible thing. It doesn’t seem to go away does it. I started to resent food and eating because every time I eat I need an injection. For the past 10 days i was hitting a low after every single meal, so three lows a day and my endocrinologist wasn’t listening and wouldn’t fix it. So I got a new doctor and yesterday, I made it through the day without a single low!

I’ve cried a lot, and I"ve yelled a lot and i"ve taken my anger out on anyone and everyone. The only thing that I"ve found that makes me feel okay is exercise. I started running every day (I’m doing about 3-4 miles a day now) and I found that at the end of a run, I wasn’t angry, and i was calm enough that i could talk to my husband without crying. It doesn’t make it go away, and it doesn’t lessen the burden it is, but it does give me something positive to do.

My friends and family all try to make me happy, and make me feel better, and want to do things to help, but the truth is that this is such an isolating disease, they can watch me go through everything, but they don’t really know because they don’t feel the lows, and they don’t feel the disappointment when the number is high, they don’t have to wonder if they’re going to live through this. My best advice to you, is to let yourself be angry, you should be. This is a crappy thing to have to face, this really sucks and you didn’t do anything to deserve this, no one did. Find some positive goal for yourself, so that you have something to look forward to. My goal is that in January, I"m running a half marathon with my little brother and I couldn’t be more excited to do this!!

Tell your family and your gf that right now, you just need the space to be angry, and hurt that this is happening, they really will understand and it will give you a place to vent when you need to.

I can honestly say that I have had moments of happiness since diagnosis. I’m not happy all the time, but I’m also not willing to let this take away my life and everything that I"ve built. You’re going to make it through this tough time, and while it will always suck, it won’t always be so overwhelming.

I am going through pretty much the same feelings as you right now, and any time you need to talk, or just want someone to listen, please feel free to write to me.

Mattie

15

I definitely think it’s possible, but you have to get to the “I’m managing my diabetes, it’s not managing me” point… you also have to look past each individual # and realize that it’s not what defines you. You are not your BG levels :slight_smile:

It took me about 18 months before I really came to terms with just what it was that I had to live with for the rest of my life… and I did in fact hit some very low points during that time. Now, it’s just another thing, like wearing a green shirt or having red hair… it’s not as big of a deal for me, but I’ve learned to live with it, I’ve learned to adjust things on the fly, and I don’t feel limited at all by being diabetic.

One thing I will suggest, even if you think you don’t need it, is see a therapist - I wish I had sooner, things would have been so much better so much faster.

16

I think you should join a support group if there is one available in your area (aside from the online support here). Maybe look into seeing a counselor who deals with chronic illness. What you are feeling right now is normal; do not try to stuff down or hide your feelings. Maybe it is easier for younger children to adapt (my DN was diagnosed at 8). But, after a while, you will adapt, trust me. I have high hopes for a cure and, if not a cure, better tools to help make it easier to live with Type 1. My immediate goal is just to keep DN healthy, with as low an A1c and standard deviation as possible, until adulthood. She has been on the pump, tried Minimeds cgms and will now try the Dexcom. Five years, ten years, there will be a lot more options and things will be easier for everyone. Hang in there! P.S. Even with high numbers at least one-third out of every day (after eating, etc.), her A1cs are usually in the low to mid 6s, without cgms. You can manage this disease somewhat, but do not expect perfection. Perfection is not even necessary to maintain good health.

17

oh dear. haha sometimes i wonder if i’ll run into that problem.

18

yeah you can be happy and still live a full life. just like any problem in life you will have your down days, but i think the question is are you happy being you? are you happy to be alive? are you happy that you have family? ask yourself that when you doubt that you are happy. yeah we all cry because we are fed up with our workload or frustrations with raising kids. me im just a happy person because im happy i am still living, im happy i got to experience a ton of the things i got to experience.

for instance, i got to do something that 90% of american reality tv viewers never get to do or never actually do. i tried out for a tv show. obviously i didn’t make it, but that day of auditions was a once in a life time event.

19

Marty: I can’t remember the feelings I had in the months after diagnosis, though I do remember wondering if I would ever have my life back again. That was 27 years ago. Since then, there has been great happiness and great saddness, and every emotion in between, and so little of it is related to being diabetic. It is what I do and how I live my life, and the testing and bolusing is something that I do generally without much thought.

Let your emotions out. You cannot keep them in – it is not healthy. Share your thoughts with the ones you love and that love you, and give them the chance to be a part of your Diabetes. In my family, it was frustrating for my ex-wife and parents that I did not let them in and know how I was doing and what they could do to help. Don’t go it alone (that was one of my mistakes).

Diabetes is now a part of your life. It is also a part of the lives of your loved ones. In time, you will become so inured to it that you won’t remember how it felt not to have it (that takes a long time, though). Happiness will come.

20

Dear Marty: When I was diagnosed with Type 1, in 1995, I was devastated and believed my life was ruined. (Prior to diagnosis, I had traveled the world, played on sports teams, etc.) I was angry and depressed. The first 10 months were hell, both mentally and physically (physically because I was an adult and had gone into DKA, and it took my body a long time to recover). I did see a counselor when I was first diagnosed–I found a counselor with Type 1. It helped.

I can truly say one can be happy and have Type 1. Yes, I have bad moments, and times when I say, “I hate this f***ing disease,” but overall I am happy and live the good life (not material things, soul things). I think you just need to be kind to yourself and most of all give yourself time. It is a time of grief, and grieving takes longer than most people realize.

I encourage you to take good care of yourself. Do all the right stuff, but don’t be too obsessive (that’s actually detrimental, in my opinion). On your home page, you mention being interested in the pump. I have been on a pump for 11 years, and I do hiking, half marathons, yoga, etc. all wearing my pump, without problem. For flag football, I take my pump off, cuz you know it’s really a contact sport! Less than a year ago, I added a continuous glucose monitor, which I can definitely recommend. I consider myself to be a bionic woman now.

Good luck to you, Marty.

Melitta