Could use a little advice
I check my daughters glucometer once a day, and she will frequently lie about her blood sugars. I have told her the importance of me knowing is to make sure we can make sure she covers properly, monitor and avoid ketones
She will do good for a while and then out of the blue a 208 is a 380
Dave
first, how old is she?
I've done the same thing: lied to my parents (and my endo) about having better BGs than they really are. Now that I'm older, I can understand the frustration. But think about it from her perspective: having a high blood sugar means she did something wrong. She doesn't want to admit the wrongdoing (and then get in trouble). She probably feels awful about having a BG so high (she's already disappointed herself and doesn't want to disappoint you as well) and thinks she can do something about it on her own.
I have to agree with Lauren. I used to do the exact same thing. The real reason why was I would feel as if I failed. Maybe instead of focusing on stressing the importance of checking and all that (which, don't get me wrong, checking and all of that is VERY important!!), but maybe talk to her on more of an emotional standpoint. If you need to talk, msg me. :-)
I also agree with Lauren. She is feeling guilty and disappointed in her BG and probably doesn't even want to admit to herself just how high they are.
What possible reason could your daughter have to telling you she had a high blood sugar. None. Wait till she is a teenager, she will figure out how to delete readings from her meter and if you really get on her case she will "lose" the meter.
I would seriously not go on a rant about it. Take it as a cue for you to show her your meter with high blood sugars and talk matter of factly about how they happen and ask her what you should do about it.
I have enough trouble managing my own D...I can only imagine how frustrating it is to manage the D of a child.
That being said, I'd agree with Sarah and Lauren. What is it that she's really lying about? It's not just the number she's lying about...it's the action that lead to that number.
BSC brings up a good point too...you're walking a fine line between creating an open relationship about diabetes and creating issues about food and glucose management.
Please keep us updated on this topic. I'm really curious how it evolves!
hi Dave, I'm including a link to one of my favorite discussions here
https://forum.tudiabetes.org/topics/worst-diabetic-ever-needs-help
I really love the comment by Kristin about how you have to train yourself not to look at the numbers as "bad" because it makes you feel like you're a bad person. Kristin helped me a LOT to think to myself when I see a "higher than I'd like" number to say to myself, "wow, I'm glad I caught that now" and take your correction or whatever you need to do, and continue on. You know yourself how it's not helpful at all to make a person w/ type1 feel like they did something "wrong".
Thank you all.
Dave, I've been thinking about this post this morning. Another thing I JUST learned (just as in a couple weeks ago) is exactly HOW high blood sugars affect long-term health, thanks to Chuck Eichten's The Book of Better. Yes, my parents and my endo's had told me that highs are bad, but I didn't know how BAD, exactly, they are, nor the WHY behind it. I don't know if your daughter would be open to learning about it (she may be too young?) but I certainly wish I had known this information when I was younger--perhaps in my teens or so (I'm in my late 20's now ;) ). I would steer away from reprimanding the lying and instead focus on why honesty is best--in this case and in general--and be clear about why you want to help her maintain good BGs. :) Hope that helps!
LOVE THAT, Lauren!! This is a good tip for working with young people in general.
I went through the same thing. I attribute your child's and countless others' behavior to the unrealistic expectations people put on us. Type 1 Diabetes is a roller coaster, no matter what. Every reading on a meter advertisement is a 102. People expect us to have good numbers like these, but it's impossible not to go into the 200's during even a good day. What happens is she sees a high, knows it's bad, then blames herself, and she needs to hear that it is not her fault, that it's Type 1 Diabetes. I know it's scary not knowing everything that's going on with her diabetes, but if she is lying, it's because she can't deal with your disappointment ON TOP of her own. I recommend not asking her about her sugars anymore, just educate her as much as you can (NOT in the context of a high blood sugar because then she will perceive it as scolding/punishment), encourage her to educate herself and become her own expert on her diabetes, and trust that she can do it, because she can. I would lie to my parents but still give the necessary corrections, I just needed to avoid the judgment. I wouldn't recommend scaring her more with consequences of high blood sugars and instead focus on educating her on the action plan. Children's brains are not developed to the point that they connect their actions to future consequences like complications, so this approach is fruitless and only harvests more fear and anxiety, which will be counter-productive. Good luck with everything but don't be afraid to let her find her own way of dealing with this awful condition. This is something we all go through. This site and talking with other T1's is priceless.
Wonfderful and well-spoken advice, Richelle. Ranting and raving about the high blood sugars will only make this child become more an dmore disappointed wih herself and more determined to hide or deny the the out of range blood sugars MORE. We had no blood sugar meters when I was diagnosed 43 years ago(I was 14).,and there was no way to daily monitor your blood sugars. And if I tested for ketones in my urine, no one asked me about it.. High glucose Corrections and MDI were far in the future. so I learned, through trial and error , how, when high; to exercise a lot, fast, drink a lot of water, and the strip would have turned normal ( yellw, not dark green) in the amby the time nI got up in the morning ready for the one and only daily insulin shot. every3- 4 months. When the doctor an out of town endo,took the quarterly blood sugar( which took an hour or more to process ) he wou,lod only tell me that I would go blinD and get my feet cut off if the One time in 4 months thone-timeblood glucose number was TOO high the next time I came in. I learned to fast and exercise the night before and morning of the appt; so the docotr would not snarl at me and frighten me and my poor mother to death with his dire and dour prognoitications. Rchelle is so right about giving her an action plan and trying to help her feel that "IT is just a NUMBER" Now what can you/we do about it?
God Bless,
Brunetta
Good points, Richelle! She brings up another aspect I hadn't thought of: perhaps your daughter would benefit from hanging out with other diabetic kids (online or in real life). :)
Although I agree with everyone about the shame, I also see another side here. She's young, I'm assuming, and might not totally understand the severity of the disease. Likewise, she wants to be normal and while our sugars run amuck when we eat sugary foods, you can easily ignore the problems, especially when you're young. Long term problems for high sugars won't affect you too much when you're a kid. I'm 22, type 1 diabetic for 13 years in February and I still don't feel the problems I caused myself when I was younger and more ruthless. My best advice to you is to live her disease with her. Eat what she eats, only. Exercise with her. Go to meetings with her on diabetes education and have conversations with her about it. I was diagnosed when I was 9 and I did my best when my mother included herself in my diabetes.
Bah--I failed to read that you were diabetic as well until after I sent my message. Sorry! And I truly wish you the best with your kids and yourself!
Yeah, one of the hardest things about growing up with diabetes is the feeling that blood sugars are a reflection of self-worth. You are lucky that strips are much more tamper proof now - I used to be able to scratch old-school strips to have "good" numbers in my meter. My parents never wanted me to feel that way but you almost can't help it. When a child sees relief or a smile over a "good" number and concern, fear, or anger over a "bad" number it is so easy to want to lie or cover it up. I grew out of it, but I recommend discussing this with your daughter, health professionals, and reading any books available on type 1 parenting. Also, at some point it will be essential that she knows how to deal with extremes on her own and know that she can ask for help. It's a tough one - good luck!
Yeah Dave it is as common as spit.
Part of the issue is our kids want to make us happy. They see our reactions to BG and seek to give us the responses that they (often subconsciously I think) think will make us happy.
Part of the process is making it safe for the kids to share the real number without a reaction one way or the other. I totally suck at that by the way.
Part of the struggle for me is that wildly crazy happen and there ain't a think that can prevent them. Hell I woul dbe happy with the odd 203 / 380. We get randon (and explained) 500s.
My two bits is not to let the numbers judge, either your daughter or you.
I will be in DC for a JDRF event when the next Philly Parents meeting happens. See ya the one after that.
Bennet