Comic Relief

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.


Well and truly a monopoly, David.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “this taste funny to you???”


Q - When do you mske sn appointment for the Dentist ?
A - “tooth-hurty”
… It’s dumb.

WELLLL . . . . since you brought up the subject of dentistry . . . .

A guru in the dentist’s chair refused to have novocain or anesthetic of any kind.

He wanted to transcend dental medication.


That’s a real groaner, @David_dns!! :smiley:

The Easter Bunny and a Unicorn meet in a department store. They look up with great surprise and say in unison, “You really do exist!”

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Q. What did the tuna say as the fisherman was reeling him in?
A. “I’ll probably get canned for this.”


The American businessman walks up to a British pub. There is an old man fishing in a small puddle just outside the pub. The American invites him into the pub. As they are enjoying a glass of fine Scottish whisky, the American playfully asks the old man, “How many have you caught ?” The old man raises his glass and says, “You are the eighth so far today.”


Two diabetics walk into a bar. Seems like one of them would have ducked.


A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “HEY! I’ll serve you—but don’t start anything!”

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God in his wisdom created the fly
And then forgot to tell us why.

– Ogden Nash

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender takes one look at him and ask, “Hey buddy why the long face?”

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Since we’re touching on animal jokes…

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “how much for a beer?”

The bartender replies, “for you—no charge.”


Riddle me this…

He who makes me has no use for me.
He who buys me does not need me.
Yet he who uses me will never see me.

Who am I ?

A coffin…

Officer O’Hara is one of New York’s Finest mounted police. Each day he makes his rounds through Central Park astride his horse, Brownie. And every day as he passes the bench on which Professor Scott sits reading the newspaper, the two stop to chat while the Professor feeds a donut to Brownie.

One day Officer O’Hara rides up to the park bench but, as the Professor offers the horse a donut, the horse, to his shock and surprise, tries to bite him. The professor jumps back in alarm and says, “Officer O’Hara, what’s the matter with Brownie today?!”

“Oh no, professor,” O’Hara hastens to explain, “this isn’t Brownie. This is a horse of a different cruller.”


What must you do when you buy a new boomarang ?
You must throw away the old one and throw away the old one and throw away the old one.

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These just all made a yuck diabetes day better! Thanks!