Cry Baby - Struggle - test - struggle - test -

I should be happy but I am definitely struggling!!
Let me share a bit about my dilemma - I quit smoking in July of 2010 - whoo hoo. Then went on to gain about 50 extra pounds (I was already obese).

In November 2010 had an attack of Vertigo which led the Doctors to request blood work and found out I had T2 in January, as well as turning 50. I am lactose intolerant as well as gluten sensitive. My A1 was 7.2 and the doctors wanted to control by diet and exercise. My guilt was through the roof - I probably had brought this on by my misuse of this my life (gift from God). Then the analytical mind kicked in and search and study began - I found this site as well as many more helpful sights to help me with my ignorance of this disease. Wow so much to learn – perhaps a lifetime.
The biggest thing I learned was to test test and test some more so you can learn what is going on – and perhaps save my insulin producing pancreas. I have been doing this and in the meantime driving my family crazy as well as my doctors. I believe they think that I must have an obsession to poke myself.
Well just got my new A1 back and it is 6.9 so I am very happy that I am going in the right direction with diet. The exercise has not been as easy as I am still suffering vertigo almost daily and often it is just hard to get to work and put in some kind of productive day at work. My doctor’s response to my new A1 was to tell me that I didn’t need to continue to poke myself as often as I was on the right track. (3 months and I guess he thinks that I have learned all I can).
I have had a very rollercoaster ride from diagnosis to today. I used to only visit the doctor perhaps 3 to 4 times per year and I have already racked up at least a weekly visit with all the issues I am now facing. I had one episode where for two weeks I was feeling weak and shaky in the late morning after breakfast and before lunch but my sugar seemed to test fine (4.4) and there didn’t seem to be any reason, for the problem – the doctor told me I was just anxious and depressed and passed me a prescription for something to calm me down. I later found out by research that I was my body was reacting as if hypoglycemic probably due to the fact that my sugars were coming down. It was a hell of a time and so so negative instead of a positive experience if my doctor had told me what was going on instead.
Most of the time just feel guilty that I am tired of feeling sick and tired when so many people are suffering with so many terminal/painful diseases.
Today when talking to my sister she told me that the doctor is probably right and I shouldn’t poke myself so often to just relax. She related it to weighing yourself all the time, and that this doesn’t help anyone to lose weight. I am just so hurt and feel like perhaps that I am just a poke addict and that all that testing is just a waste of time – but then again how can they explain my quick results. All I have done today is cry – how could my only sister not support me in my way to a healthier life and ignore the serious problems which could occur if I don’t manage my diabetes.
Sorry for my rant – cry baby, cry baby.

Hi Darlene. People who don't have diabetes, like your sister, usually don't understand what's going on with us. If you need to test, just go ahead and test, and be proud of yourself for doing so. Don't worry about the cry-baby part -- you have decided to manage the diabetes, so you're going to be fine. I test about 10 times a day, and there are PWDs on this site who test even more often. We do what we have to do to stay as healthy as possible. And there is definitely no need to feel guilty! Keep posting and asking questions, you will find support here.

Darlene, that's a pity, that nobody gets that you're actually trying to help yourself and on the right path to doing it. You seem to be very much on top of things.

No, you're not a poke addict - no more than anybody who studies anything in depth is an addict.

Weighing constantly during weight loss is different, though both are in their own way compulsive behaviors. Weighing frequently is done to motivate and assure yourself things are going okay. If done to excess, it can negatively impact your self-confidence out of alignment with real progress, because the numbers when seen so close together are almost arbitrary, becoming a confusing jumble that has no relationship to recent behaviors...and so if you rely on the numbers to tell you whether you've "done good," your self-confidence will take numerous unnecessary hits.

Glucose testing, on the other hand, is maybe 10% about motivation and 90% about information-seeking. It has a direct effect on action. The more we test, the more familiar we are with our blood sugar rhythms and the more control we have about the things that influence blood sugar. The better control we have, the better we protect our health.

Sometimes it feels like obsessive/compulsive behavior to test so much, but it's not harmful as such - in fact, it's probably the "better" side of compulsion. Compulsion allows us to habituate necessary acts. Sometimes that can harm us, but often it helps.

Really, it sounds like you're doing great to me. :)

Trudy and teld have said it so well - I totally agree. All I'll add is a big hug and a YOU GO GIRL!

It is very common for T2's on an eat to your meter program to get criticized for testing too much, but I think you know you are doing the right thing. Perhaps if you explain the logic behind eat to your meter, your sister will understand. It's really not rocket science, it's just the application of logic and the tools we have available to us to solve a problem. Your testing is proof you are taking your condition seriously and are determined to deal with it successfully.

In addition to fine tuning your diet I think it also helps keeping up the motivation to stick with the program It's way too easy to fall off the wagon and we are surrounded by food that is not good for us. Each good test is a positive reinforcement and we need all the help we can get.

Congratulations on the progress you have made and here's wishing you a steadily improving A1C.

Thanks Trudy - my instinct says test test test. But it sure is hard when the support is not there by Family and Physician

Hi Darlene,

The advice that T2s do not have to test is so familiar. Keep up the good work and know that many of your T2 friends on here are testing, testing right along with you. Cheers! Joanne

Give yourself a big hug for taking charge, doing research & having a greatly improved A1c. A lot of work!

What other people are suffering has nothing to do with what you're going through. You're allowed to feel what you feel without guilt for feeling it. Diabetes is overwhelming.

Think the first lesson diabetics need to learn is that doctors don't know near as much as they should. We turn to them for guidance & it's often misplaced trust. Keep testing. Testing is the best thing you can do & you've got the proof. Sorry, your sister's analogy of getting on a scale constantly is wrong. Understand how much it hurts. My sister doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it & had me tears several times. Felt like I was shot in the heart.

Hi Darlene, I think you're doing a terrific job! With the good results you're seeing, just keep doing what you're doing and do your best to ignore what others say. :) When they criticize you, just remember those results you're seeing.

I love how people who don't have diabetes, and don't know what it's really like because they haven't lived it, like to tell those of us who do have diabetes what we should or should not be doing... even doctors.

Testing is ONLY way to get a picture of what is going on.

Current mentality of testing in some quarters is in toilet from one key perspective:

If body is still functioning albeit sloppy or poorly, you do not need high frequency of testing ( 6 to 10 strips a day should be sufficient to catch key data and digestion/glucose output to manage food input).

That said though; if you have nasty liver doing extra liver dumps and adding way too much glucose when BG goes sub-70; it will blast your numbers all over and make things seem hopeless.

I was up to 30 strips a day to finally track this monster and graduated to a cgms to watch in detail.

If morning glucose is 180 and higher - mine was 238, one needs to check bg at 1:00 am ; 3:00 am and 6:00 am and if it is increasing skyward, your dawn effect is nailing you. Trick eating and diet will not fix this. I am not Doctor so you will need medical advice on best way to counteract. For me 500 mg dose of standard met (not the ex) at 10:00pm and 500mg dose at 12:00 midnight would shutdown nonsense so that is BG was 122 at midnight ; it would be around 130 in 6:00 am instead of 238.

See Salk Institute/John Hopkins Childrens on REAL operation of metformin.
One large dose DOES not work and relies on metformin up to sufficient dose in blood during the critical period and why the two dose times stated.

Until my liver was corraled; my a1c was 13.3 and after metformin doses taken appropriatly - a1c dropped to 6.9 and this was on continuous diet approach of 1200 calories a day and 2 miles walking for two years before metformin adjust and 2 years after and still today.

In addition during day, I was also having extra liver dumps during day after gut empties - here metformin will also stop by taking a 500 mg dose 1 hour before each meal. These dumps were occuring even if fingertip BG was between 140 and 200.

The last thing my doctor recommended was to stop BG going sub 100 and forcing liver dump when BG goes sub -70. This is tricky because one needs to eat sufficient carbs in low carb diet to keep body rolling rather than relying on normal liver fifo glucose add.

After all those rain dances, BG ran smoothly, predictabley and diet and exercise then contained rest of riots.

As indicated, please be very carefull and do not do anything yourself without medical assistance and guidance. This means everything from pills, dieting, fasting etc as it can put one in danger without extensive supervision/monitoring/cgms to stop nasty lows.

That said instrumentation is critical. We are presently living in the dark ages when it comes to decent real time fast instrumentation and analysis that was alluded to in Dr. McCoy's 23rd Century Star Trek with the hand held analysis wands and the computers on the bridge of the Enterprise processing and summarizing the data to guide the Doctor.

Single shot lab tests and fingerstick meters and now cgms while starting to get some useful indication do not provide sufficient visibility to a multi-organ - multi hormone complex chemical processing plant and how best to tune, adjust and correct.

Good luck with your body and hope you get some good guidance, sympathy and understanding to get back on track.

If you want more info on my case; see my Book - "At The Precipice" by Jim Snell.

Jims -
I have received nothing but valuable information on this site and will continue this test test test and eat to the meter - your situation sounds as if it was so daunting and yet you persevered so this only helps me to keep going forward.

You say it so well "not provide sufficient visibility to a multi-organ - multi hormone complex chemical processing plant and how best to tune, adjust and correct"

I will for sure look up "At The Precipice"

Thanks everyone for all the encouragement and help.

Best wishes, good luck with your health.

I made mistake back 30 years ago to pursue in depth earlier/sooner and seek out answers that today I have now found out.

that means unless one is dead; it is never to late but always best to debug and fix as early as possible and hopefully preclude difficult complex solutions later.

Thank you for sharing with us all.