Grr My wife is going d-pol on me. Twice this week we have butted heads. I don’t mind the occasionally do you need that comment but don’t tell me how to take care of my diabetes or compare me to my mother. Just venting
We all hate the D police. Hopefully she will back off soon. My husband sometimes does the same thing and he has to bite his tongue sometimes.
You need to pick out one of the good d-police videos on YouTube & have it ready to play. When she is within seeing/hearing distance, play it. Maybe she will get the hint!
Oh that lovely D-Police. I hope your wife backs up soon but I’ve been married to the same man for almost 28 years and he STILL pull that on me every so often. Vent all you need to.
That is a good one Alan. I remember seeing that one before. Thanks for sharing.
Oh I was ready to snap. My wife is big on natural foods and brought some natural peanut butter. No problem on my end until since it has no preservatives she wanted to add honey. Told her ok fine I will get my own. Not good enough. Then I had bolused for a nice yummy piece of cake. I go to the bathroom come back and bam she is taking the last piece for herself. Point out I only had one piece of the cake and wanted it.
To both of these she made comments like “well you don’t care about sugar, what makes honey different”, “Well you don’t need the cake anyways, it to many carbs.”
The kicker was last night dropped down to 55, feelings low and hungry, I scream for ice cream, finished off the mint chocolate chip and she tells me I could of given her some. “I’m low I need to eat”. “How many times have you told your mother she needs more the M&Ms and that she needs to eat better” she replies. My mom takes to much insulin for her meals and or skips and eats junk all day. I on the other hand will snack, 20 Carb or less if I am under 85 somehow this is the same as eating close to a pound of M&Ms in my wife’s eyes.
She may have been acting like the D-police but she was really the “guy had better not take the last piece of cake police”
It really gets old trying to get ppl to understand don’t it? One thing my hubby does is buy “real” Coke I on the other hand buy diet coke. When I fall low (I know I’m bad) I will grab his coke and drink it only to hear “That’s MY coke you know you can’t have Coke” To which I pop up and say “Had you rather take me to the hospital for a seizer” He usually backs down. He’s seen so many of them he knows not to push too hard.
You might want to try talking to her sometime, Jim, when you are both relaxed and in a good mood. (Not at the time of one of these incidents). Tell her why you would prefer she didn’t play the D-police role, and could trust you to manage your own diabetes. All these little annoying comments can start to end up as resentments that your marriage doesn’t need. If it really starts to be a wall between you, a couple sessions of couples counseling would help you talk to each other about the issues. But hopefully you can head it off at the pass before it gets to that point.
Vent away! I don’t want to hear that someone means well & it’s because they love us because being intrusive is just that. My husband is the love of my life except when he goes police. At the slightest change in emotion I hear, “should you test?” & he starts bringing me the meter. Want to grab it from his hands & throw it against a wall. Feel like I’m not entitled to legitimate emiotional responses. Everything gets chalked up to a low or high. Yea, I’ve told him how infuriating this is. The only time he flashes the food badge is when we’re out with friends. What’s that about? Yea, I’ve also told him how humiliated this makes me feel. He also checks my meter for readings. I’ve thought of sticking a strip in sugar to log in a super high just for fun!
You could ask her how her UTI was dong, the first second she plays that stupid control game. Or ask her how her cycle was progressing. Same type of utter insensitivity (IMHO). Should silence her short term anyway.
Stuart
I am sure she was wanting the cake more tthan anything
The getting tired of the nagging think really sunk in when I was DXed. So many years of hounding my mother. Made me feel guilty
She tries not to nag but only understands so much. I have tried to get her to read up on everything but I think she would rather be in the dark. Mostly because her family has a history of type-2, she is slightly over weight, PCOS and now we are pretty sure a thyroid issue(I keep hounding her to get to the dr), and I will suggest she gets a A1c every now and then.
Oh god brings me back to my mother I said to many times to her go test yourself
UTI not a problem cycle irregular due to PCOS. I do bug her to get checked for T-2
I think the whole “policing in front of friends and family” is some kind of deeply ingrained, caveman thing. He’s unconsciously trying to show everyone that he can manage and take care of his woman. ;0)
Smile and tell him very sweetly, “Thanks, Grok, but I’ve got it under control.”
I have to admit that I like the hand at the small of my back, the arm to hold when crossing the cobblestones, the hackles rising on the back of the neck when there are some unsavory characters nearby.
It’s nice when they love us and want to protect us from harm.
But do we really need to be “protected” from one slice of pizza or 1/4 of a brownie at a holiday party? Really?
And do we really need to test our blood glucose (or be asked about our Aunt Dot…!!!) every, single time we get grumpy? Other people get grumpy, too, including our Type 0 heroes.
I’ll try Thanks, Grok. Perhaps better than a swift kick & icy glare. My husband’s a college professor & you know how bossy & controlling teachers can be.
Yea, first it was do you have your period? Now, it’s are you low? Lovely being reduced to set of chemicals.
gggrrr…hate D-police…lol but the ball is now in your court…find a good comeback/// example: honey you know cake goes right to your hips…lol oh well. i go through it all the time :o(
I heard that, Gerri! That’s ok, I’m only an Adjunct, so I never get bossy! (right!).
Sometimes it is easier being single. I’m way too used to doing things in my own way at my own time.