As a T1 daughter of a T1, I'm just going ahead and planning to have a T1 kid. Once they're about 5 years old, I'm not afraid of having a T1 kid. I think I'd be awesome at it.
But when they're really little and especially when they're a baby, I'm terrified. The symptoms seem so difficult to recognize. I mean, how are you supposed to know if your little baby is drinking too much for a baby. How frequent does urination need to be before it changes from "she's a baby and her body is changing" or "you're just overreacting, as a first time mom" to... DKA and an ER visit?
And, if DKA can set in so quickly and especially quickly when they're small... how am I supposed to ever let anyone but my T1 dad babysit for even a couple of hours?
I actually check my son's blood sugar from time to time. The doctors told me that I don't need to do this and I didn't start until he was older (maybe 9 months old). I only do it once every 1-2 months, but it does give me peace of mind.
He actually loves it and always wants me to check his blood sugar. He doesn't see it as a bad or painful thing. I use a new lancet and my softclix on the lowest setting. He is now 2.5 and tells me that it doesn't hurt him.
When he was young, I would collect his urine if possible or press a ketostix into a freshly wet diaper to check. I will admit whenever he starts urinating more I worry.
Later you can also get your child screened for antibodies through TrialNet.
I've also heard of people using ketostix and a wet diaper. Not 100% precise, but I think it would give you a good idea if something was up.
Also, I don't know if the baby's father is T1 also, but the children of T1 moms aren't actually much more likely than anyone else to be diabetic. Some things up the likelihood, but there's a much stronger paternal link than a maternal one. Maybe your kid won't be diabetic after all! (Though I agree, I think T1 moms make great parents to T1 kids!)
I did hear that T1 moms aren't as likely to pass it on. But... I'm a second generation. Does that change things? I'm having a hard time finding data on how common a second generation T1 diabetic passes things on.
Maybe because there's not many generations around. I mean... assuming you were a baby with T1 in the 20s, had a kid in the 40s, they had a kid in the 60s, and then 4th generation in the 80s (me). Only really two sets of generations to work with, and I doubt they cared about the ones from the 60s.
I hope there's a gene that says "Your family has had to deal with this too much and your kid will definately NOT have diabetes." ;)
I don't know if being a second generation T1 makes a difference. It's an interesting question! Probably? I think you're probably right that there aren't a whole lot of generations to study, especially since T1 women used to be told not to have children.
Hope you end up with that "you've done enough" gene ;)