“There are a lot of myths around the subject of diabetes”
“There are no dietary restrictions, although food intake has to be managed but I won’t go into that as it is very complex.”
These are the two very best responses I’ve ever heard. And they cover more than just the food police, too!
I’m going to be using these.
Terry
I tend to hold my wrists up as if i am giving them to the police, and say book em Dano. That tends to get a little laugh and cause some embarrassment all the same.
rick phillips
Hmmm…that seems to be a good idea Rick. I should try that next time…lol.
Rick, you always make me smile!
My food police nerve is more sore than a pinky with 10,000 lancet pokes!
I like to take a page from my mental health therapist husband’s book. Put a really thoughtful look on your face. If possible stroke your chin with a finger. A middle European accent doesn’t hurt. “I am hearing you express strong interest in this food I am putting in my mouth. Why is that?”
I’m reading these responses and laughing! Loved that one Kelly.
I’ve also considered the reply (in a non-threatening manner) “your comment/question sounded a little judgemental…is that how you intended it?”
This would put the ball back in their court and put them on the defensive instead of me.
I know what I can and cannot eat, but people tell me about new foods that are bad for diabetics.(mainly foods I like) I have to listen to them or I get THE LOOK! and a hour long discussion on how I am ruining my health. It does drive me nuts, But they mean well. Yeah? I have had to give up some pastas, salsa,certain chips, not allowed a piece of cake or cookie. ocassionally I can have “A” bite, and beef jerky( my fave). Maybe someday I will get abit of each back in my world.I miss those foods. Food Police is a good name for them, I never heard of that before.
I’m just not inclined to let people live in my head rent free.
I can also be quite blunt in responding to others if I feel they have crossed the line. Of course it depends on who they are and whether or not they are important to me as to how I will respond.
I’m not going to be rude to my 98 year old aunt, when she found out I had “sugar” she exclaimed quite loudly well, you must have gotten that from your mother’s side of the family!
I just laughed and said you’re absolutely right.
Basically I just say I’m on a lower carb plan if I get pressured I’ll just ask (loudly) how their VD treatment is coming along.
Oh, you just scorched one of my raw nerves. I used to hear that a bunch when I was a bureaucrat in Washington. My Mom taught me the meaning of tact long before I ever had Diabetes, and her guidance really didn’t take hold until I began to hear well meaning but essentially tactless comments from the uninformed do-gooders intending to help me to manage my diabetes.
I often stew over those comments, and silently scream witty, biting and indeed devastating replies. “You can’t have that - you’re diabetic” they say. To which I reply “Neither should you given your obesity.” Or I was told “I can leave these doughnuts on your desk where I know they are safe.” I thought “too bad they aren’t safe around your husband.” And on and on I go, smiling sweetly and trying like mad to take it in the spirit they intended. Still, it grates, and still I look for a polite way to fight back.
Then one day, it hit me. We were having an informal group breakfast in our conference room to celebrate a special occasion. As I usually do, I took my glucose reading, then went and scoped out what food was available. I computed the carbs, adjusted for my glucose, determined the appropriate insulin dose and took my shot. Then I went in to join the group.
Right off the bat, I reached for a chocolate covered doughnut. I could feel the eyes follow me, hear a twitter of disapproval and then finally somebody said it. “You shouldn’t have that - you are diabetic and one day you might have a foot or leg amputated or go blind because you can’t have sweets.” Boom - silence ensued to see where this would go. I said “my glucose was 137 milligrams per deciliter of blood 7 minutes ago. What was yours? This doughnut has 41 grams of carbohydrate, which requires 4 units of rapid acting insulin so that my body can properly convert the carbohydrates into glucose within acceptable limits defined by my endocrinologist. I’ve planned to eat a total of 101 grams of carbohydrates, which means after this doughnut I’ll have some low-fat yogurt and polish off another doughnut. No biggie though - I do this kind of calculation all day long.” Sometimes the best comeback is to let their ignorance speak for itself.
Great response Tom. The calculations and hoops we jump through to control the diabetes are mind boggling. They have no clue whatsoever. I often hear the term “mindless eating” and can’t even imagine what that would be like. I can’t even remember a time that I didn’t think and calculate and measure each bite that was going in my mouth. What would it be like to simply sit down and eat?
I’m pretty laid back and tactful and go out of my way to accept people, etc. But this one issues does chomp on a raw nerve. I resent it and I resent it even more that when we tactfully justify our actions it often appears we are trying to make excuses for what we are doing. I will hear people say about others with diabetes “they eat what they want and just shoot up with insulin”. They say this with a great deal of disgust.
It helps to vent in this venue…where others have encountered the same issue. I’ve about decided that I don’t owe the thoughtless person who makes these comments the good grace of tact. I now have several direct and somewhat stinging responses that I may use in the future. I’m so primed now that I pity the poor person who makes the next food police comment in my direction.
You know what I would really like (besides being a fly on the wall to witness your stinging response :-)?
To put that next food-police person onto this discussion. I would love to have such a person give us a stream of consciousness reply about what went threw his or her mind before and during and after such comments. It would be interesting and might give us some clue about how to better address the public’s misperceptions about diabetes.
In the meantime, will each one of you above speak into my recorder? Your responses are so awesome I want to create a playback loop so I don’t even have to open my own mouth to try to form a reply to food police!!
The no dietary restrictions, etc., made me laugh. Hilarious answer!
Love this idea Kelly!!! That would be interesting. Do they think we have had a sudden lapse of memory and we can’t remember that we are D? They have never lived one day with this disease, and typically don’t do too well on the healthy lifestyle themselves…so do they REALLY think they know better then we do?
I agree; I would love to know what they are thinking that prompts such remarks. Do I dare ask one of them to join us?
Mike, I just now opened your link to the diabetes etiquette and it was great. I blind cc’d all of those who I think could use the info. I included a nice note that I had come across this piece on diabetes etiquette and hope they find it as interesting and useful as I do. They will either be miffed or not. They will either get the hint or not.
Regardless of what they do with the info at least now I know I have made my point and that means a great deal to me. Thanks for the link…it is exactly what I needed.
I had dinner with Aunt 1 and my husband a week ago. We split a bottle of wine. Aunt 1 called Aunt 2 to share “Oh my gosh, Jessica had two glasses of wine!” Aunt 2 then called my mother saying that if my husband was responsible and loved me(or whatever she spewed) he wouldn’t allow me to touch any alcohol at all because it is so bad for Diabetics!! First off, there isn’t 6 glasses in a bottle (not really and we did share it) and who cares anyway!! It makes me realize how much I must get judged all the time… Grrrr… “They” talk about the alcoholic Diabetic that died 20 plus years ago, that doesn’t apply!!
I hear you Jessica!! It’s almost like they watch over us to catch us “cheating”. Perhaps they know that they could never live a D life so they find joy in “catching” us with our “mistakes”. On the first page of this discussion Mike left a link to a great pdf file on diabetes etiquette for the person who doesn’t have diabetes. It was very well done. I e-mailed to my frequent offenders. While I would like to have a cutting reply I’m usually speechless. I just stew about it later. E-mailing this was perfect. I just said “I found this helpful and hope you do as well.” It was tactful while making the point and allowed me to be heard.
I’ll drink to being heard!!! P.S. I would share a bottle of wine with you guys anytime.
That is AWESOME!!! I’ve been looking for a one-liner that will hopefully diffuse tension and get me off the “explaining” hook.
Maria