*dislikes* closing 'members leaving' thread

So the administrative team thought people would get confused if another topic was intertwined with another topic? I am not trying to start anything I guess I am just trying to understand. This is a social site and socially that is how people communicate, sometimes one broad question can lead to several sub-topics. If it was truly just about people speculating why specific members were not around anymore and the admin team felt it was inappropriate and chose to block that then I can sort of understand. Although in that case I would have just deleted those specific comments because its not like closing it erased it. It may make a new member feel like they can not express themselves if it is not always on the topic…I dont know just my thoughts

I agree a 100% bsc. This is a free space, i ALWAYS felt like that. But as to be a productive and safe area to share and feel respected we need to have limits, and that’s where the admnistration team comes. TuD is a great place to learn, share and feel supported, few days ago i was thinking about how many VALUABLE info I have gotten here, info that none of my docs ever gave me, and I don’t know where else i could get if not here… There are good, smart and well informed people here, lets enjoy that and make our lives better through information + motivation.

Hi I’ll quickly weigh in… On one site where I go (non-diabetes) members are alerted before a discussion is closed down completely. For example, a “stay on topic” warning, prior to the final decision being made. I think that admins have a good reason when they give these warnings – it’s not to hamper discussion, but to prevent it from going in a “snarky” direction that only ends up becoming a big brawl. I think a decent admin can see this coming and that is what happened here, it wasn’t a reflection on the discussion you started, Mikey, but an anticipation of something negative that could come out of it.

Perhaps you can pick up on some of the interesting issues that happened in the course of the discussion in another thread, but one that does not discuss specific members leaving (I did see names named on the original thread, maybe not so good if those members are looking in and seeing people talking about them… I know I’d be pissed if I saw that happening in a public forum).

Yeah I wont take it personally. I’ll brush it off like a high glucose test. I do disagree with it going in circles. I think it was locked to preserve the reputation of Tudiabetes. Every thread basically goes in circles and some more than others and some threads have nothing to do with diabetes. I am glad to see this particular thread here that Acidrock started has “7 likes” and counting. I think that speaks for itself. Ok, I wont say anymore about it.
Word of the day is…“community”.

Ok, I will make a confession. I have been around the block. I have been sanctioned and I have been banned. In all those cases it was the forum moderators “right” to do that and in each and every instance, it was basically my choice of action that led to the end result. Generally, it was my willful violation of the terms of use enforced by the moderator. Yes, those terms may have been “bad” and “stupid” in my eyes, but it wasn’t my forum. And if I had really thought about it, maybe I shouldn’t have joined those forums.

But here at tudiabetes, we have a pretty open terms of use. The real boundary is that we have to treat each other with respect, no personal attacks, no hair pulling and no scratching (oh and no commercial advertising). After that, we can pretty much talk about anything we want. But there are social boundaries to protect and privacy is one of them.

And in my view, the moderators are trying to protect our members. And they probably considers even those who have been banned to still in some sense to be members of our broad diabetes community. We should not talk members who are not present behind their backs because they are not there to defend themselves. Jews even have a word to describe it, “Lashon Hara.” Lashon hara is not about telling lies, it is about gossip behind someones back, that may well be perfectly true but can be harmful. I ask that we give Manny and the admins a respectful distance on this and that we not publicly discuss specific members who are not present even if you have information on these matters.

I think we all wonder about our friends who disappear. I know some specific members who I’ve lost touch with and been worred. That is a good thing. But we still must respect each other’s privacy. And if someone chooses to leave and does not want contact, or has been banned. These are private matters.

I don’t have any issue with the closing of the thread, it continued to verge on the boundary of Lashon hara. It is not personal, it was just one of the many difficult decisions that had to made for the community.

I have not read the thread in question but I think Manny uses good judgment in locking or removing threads when things get out of hand and the poster gets “flamed.” At least I think that’s the reason. I had a post removed once, somewhat controversial in nature but entirely truthful. I did not take offense at Manny removing the post. Some moderators actually DO “moderate”. If responses get out of hand, it does not reflect well in the site.

Thanks, bsc. Despite several attempts requesting that discussion participants refrain from speculating about members no longer present, this continued. Believe I posted this three times. I hope that people will see that Tu values of respect & privacy extend to everyone–past, present & future. Decisions are not arbitrary & involve the entire Tu admin team.

I’ll jump inhere now. bsc you just said it all. Thank you! Well said!

Well, it’s pretty clear from THIS thread that the “wandering conversation” was not the crux of the issue, but rather the fact that what was under discussion was the way in which members of the community who had been valuable but marginalized for one reason or another were asked to leave/escorted to the cyberdoor. It appears to be one of those things that we ought not to want to know that much about.

Nobody has been marginalized on TuDiabetes. The very few cases of people who indeed have been banned from the community (while being members who contribute actively and even valuable information) have been dealt with in a VERY thorough manner, typically over the course of months. So, I am not sure what you are referring to in regards to marginalization.

Still, valuable contributions HAVE to go hand in hand with abiding by the rules of the community. To give an example, it doesn’t help anyone if someone has great knowledge to share with others but makes others feel guilty or not smart because they do not know about it or because they have been acting differently. It defeats the whole purpose, because guilt is proven to not be a good way to teach anyone anything. And ultimately, it is highly disrespectful of others, which is in direct conflict with the values of TuDiabetes.

I have been very explicit about this multiple times and honestly don’t see why we need to keep on bringing it up. We will not be discussing in the public forum cases of specific members who left the community or were banned from it. They deserve respect for their privacy and that is simply not negotiable.

I sincerely hope this helps clarify this whole matter and we can move on…

I thought we could like comments? LOL…I agree the admins are nice and didn’t want to rile anyone up but I think the topic of people leaving whether its because of a fracas or because they just wander off is interesting and I was genuinely intrigued by some of the people who came back to the other thread?

I don’t believe the thread was locked because of the mention of past members names or any other reason that has been stated such as “going in circles”. I think it has become obvious why the thread was locked.

If you (the admin team) were there to protect the names of previous members, than answer this…

When a thread AKA topic is started any member that for example uses really bad language gets that specific response deleted. The whole discussion should not suffer because a few people mentioned a few names. You know how to delete a “specific response” without “locking” a thread. I am not on the admin team but I know you can delete certain responses without “locking” the whole topic. It’s unfair and we know it. There names ARE still there in a locked thread??? If you were there to protect them than you would delete their names from the thread and UNLOCK it. And the more you make excuses and try and come up with other reasons you locked the thread, the worse it reflects on the people running this site.

Every thread on Tudiabetes wanders and they don’t get locked.

Now that I said that will this get deleted or locked?

No, but if you disappear we’ll know what happened.

Sure. I just have one last question.
What’s the ratio of T1:T2 s on the site as a whole? Among the admins? Among the booted?
I could be completely wrong about there bring a correlation but is there?

I have to say that the site seems to be run very fairly. I thought it odd that that thread was locked but I disagree with the speculation that there was a reason the thread had been locked as I’m not seeing any of the reasons matching up to the statements in the thread.

If you really cared about their privacy of previous members, than why are there specific names not removed/deleted from the thread? It is still visible now. I feel like they (previous members) are getting used as an excuse to close the entire topic which was closed for different reasons, not because of their privacy. It doesn’t make sense!

There are approximately twice as many people with type 1 diabetes as people with type 2 diabetes on the site as a whole. In the past four years I have been doing this, I have found this to be a reflection of the fact that people with type 1 diabetes are generally more vocal about diabetes. However, the current split of roughly 2:1 has been evolving over time. About 80% of the members used to be people with type 1 or with children with type 1.

Among the admins, we have 4 persons with type 1, one mom of a child with type 1 and myself (with LADA). There are other folks who help with moderation (though not listed on the site as such): in this group, we have people with type 2 (2), people with type 1 (2) and people with LADA (1).

I won’t go into details about the number of people who have gotten banned from the site, but I can tell you we have banned people who have type 1, people who have type 2 and people who were caregivers.

The only references of previous members on the thread have been posted by members outside the admin team. We are not giving away any information on people who are no longer on the site, therefore we are not violating their privacy.

We have one type 2 admin currently and she is a highly respected member of the community. I’d like to think we always have her input representing our type 2 members in our administrative decisions.

Fortunately there has never been a decision where we felt a person’s type of diabetes was relevant in examining their forum interactions. One either abides by our values and treats members with respect or they do not. It’s a pretty simple formula for not getting “booted.”

You are free to believe that if you want. We have posted numerous times the reasons behind the closing of the thread.

I answered your other question here: