I have had diabetes almost 15 years now and you would think I had it all together and it would just be second nature. However, lately I have wanted to just throw the pump and insulin and meters away. I get so tired and fed up with things. I know I never can throw it all away, but some days I would sure like too!
I still have days like that even after more than 22 years. I'm guessing it probably never goes away completely, no matter how "adjusted" you are. Just because we have diabetes and manage it well doesn't mean we have to like it! Hope you feel better soon - I always find posting here helps.
Yes, I feel that way frequently. I have only had it, or known about it and have been on insulin for about 2 years now. I truly hate it and hope one day for better treatments or a cure. For instance today I felt like eating a piece of toast, not something I do often. 3 units for 1 slice of toast, 2 eggs and some tea and I ended up at 188 an hour later!!! I hate this fr***ing disease, there are NO SILVER LININGS to D, it just plain sucks. Normal people don't realize how lucky they are to be able to eat what they want to and have no or little repercussions.
Yeah, for me it's doing everything correctly and still ending up with highs or lows that's the most frustrating. The constant balancing act and adjusting is so draining sometimes!
Nope, the thought doesn't cross my mind. I'm having a pretty fed up day today b/c I'm sick and am bored out of my gourd but am still trying to stay on top of my yutzed up BG.
I get discouraged, too. The healthy human glucose metabolism is such an incredibly complex yet elegant system. And it all runs on its own, in the background, automatically and with exquisite precision.
Then we're told to manage our blood glucose with stone-age tools of sub-q insulin and meters that are +/- 20% accurate on good days. Don't get me wrong; these basic tools are way better than what we had 50 or 100 years ago. But we shouldn't get too down on ourselves with the crude tools that we now use. And not only do we struggle with today's technology but we also often find ourselves fighting ignorant doctors, nurses, employers, insurance companies, and even people we consider friends!
I just finished adding a note to the post about development of insulin pills as an alternative to injections. Taking insulin injections is way, way down my list of things I don't like about diabetes.
Hi Kels: I am at 19 years, and I think it is very hard to stay motivated! T1D is such an intensive disease, and although the tools we have are so much better, the technology simply is not there for us to live comfortable lives without highs and lows and constant vigilance. Bring on the artificial pancreas! It is in human clinical trials--I know an MD who was diagnosed with Type 1 at age 21 who is on the artificial pancreas, and he is quite happy with it.
Wrote you a little rap ditty, Kels.
Start the beat box:
"46 years I'm type one
Have I ever been "done"?
Do I find it all fun?
No!
Hey,But still the day comes,
when "sugar" woes no longer stun.
There's peace and Joy that we've won.
Believe me Kels,You'll see the sun."
I have had attacks of diabetes burn-out where I did not check my sugars but 3- times a day, only when I eat or snack, and sometimes not even then. Yes. always ran basals and bolussed, yet I still ignored much of the management schema I knew, and with which I had done quite well. It was pushed to the back burner. :Some of the pre meal-testing, all of the post-meal testing. I Just "shot up" as to how I felt . When carb counting I guesstimated my bolusses, fell in love with the manual bolus and rejected the bolus wizard on my pump. Pre-bolussing became too much work. It Made me more aware of having diabetes and I did not want to think about it. At all. that mindset can lead to a Long-term dangerous progression to self-care neglect..
Yes., I did all these things the past year and a half when I was suffering from the loss of my Dad last year an my beloved brother this year.. I was done with the daily diabetes routine, because there were so many other things on my emotional plate.
Did I stay "done" with it, Nope. After an a1c if 8 in early November, ( It slowly creeped up there, not at all to my surprise I must admit); I said "whoa!!" I Pulled in the reins and started back to my testing and pre-bolussing regimens. Tweaked my basals. Slowed my tendencies toward super and "rage" bolussing. Took care of me the RIGHT way.
Was it work? You bet. Was it worth it? Of course.
I AM WORTH IT and you are too. It is a lot to do to stay on top of the diabetes game, particularly if the immediate results are not what you have hoped and strived for. Look at the BIG picture.WE are in this for the long haul. Think Boston Marathon versus the 100 yard ( or is it meters know?) dash. Better emotional AND PHYSICAL health do not come from beating yourself up over an inevitable, hopefully infrequent random low or high number; nor over the burn-out period when you are dealing with other issues AND diabetes. With my faith, such blues and self-recriminations have passed over like storm clouds to reveal a brighter day and sunny skies. That is how I stay positive, My dear.
Kels you are going through a little burn-out period. This too, shall pass. Believe me, it WILL...
God bless,
Brunetta
Agreed!