OK so I’m putting on my gym clothes this morning and I check my email. My new lab results are in. Great! Can’t wait to see some improvement since I’ve been working real hard to keep things under control.
My last result back in Feb was 8.3. I was pretty confident that I could improve on that, right?
So I open the result and there it is staring me in the face…8.3…again.
I can’t f*cking believe it.
Now let me just say something. I bust my ■■■ trying to fight this POS disease. Every freaking day…in the gym, on the court, kettlebell class, at the grocery store…errr…checking constantly, correcting, eating right, counting carbs…arrrgh!!
I’ve been getting a lot of lows too, which I figured would have skewed this A1c number down a little.
But…the more I think about it…I have been eating out more often, and my post meal sugars have been high…my morning sugars can be high, and my post bball numbers are so unpredictable.
Still…8.3?!..it just isn’t right. Not with this much daily effort.
Needless to say I barely made it to the gym today, but I did get my morning workout in. I’m dragging my feet, smiling at no one and snapping at loved ones. I’m so f*cking pissed off right now I don’t know what to do.
Diabetes is once again kicking my ■■■. And it feels extra lame this time, because I’m literally working my balls off every day to win. And when I check the score, I’m always down by a couple points. F*ck me running.
I will be facing the music on Monday…Endo appointment. She’ll push the pump on me again and I’ll refuse like I always do…and then I’ll promise to bring my A1c down bliggety blah blah blah.
Thanks for reading. I hate to be such a downer…but I know today won’t kill me, and you know what they say about things that don’t kill you.
Happy Sugars y’all.