Disappointed But Determined To Beat This

I decided to blog about my challenges with controlling my blood sugar through peri-menopause in the hope that my struggle will help someone else. I also do it with the hope and belief that further down this road I can look back and see how far I've come.

Before starting this peri rollercoaster, I was on MDI for 25 years and my last A1c was 6.5 so while not perfect, still decent. Then about a year and a half ago, I started skipping periods, having horrible symptoms such as heart palpitations, leg cramps, foggy brain, hot flashes, nausea, waves of tingling from head to toe, and if all that wasn't enough, out of control blood sugar. My A1c jumped to 7.7 and I was having highs and lows every single day. During this time, I also became hypo unaware.

My most recent endo appointment was earlier this week. I had actually been looking forward to this visit because my meter numbers had been so much improved since low carbing and starting a cgm and pump. I was certain that my A1c would be much improved even though it's only been 2 months on the pump. After all, I'd read on Tu where people talked about their A1c dropping after only two months on a pump, right?

My endo downloaded my pump data and said he was quite pleased with what he saw because the numbers would correlate to an A1c in the 6s. And this was after a recent tough spell where my basals jumped all over the place trying to keep up with the pace of high to low to high basal need changes of peri. I actually had one really good week where my average bg on my meter was 126 though - it's weeks like this that keep me going and give me hope.

Of course, I'm still not satisfied because the time it takes to react to changes in basal need still screw up my numbers. When I told my endo that I'd been a hot mess over the weekend trying to react quickly enough and only partly succeeding, he told me "I think I'm alot more pleased with your numbers than you are. Some of my patients would kill for numbers like these." My immediate thought to myself was "yeah but I bet those patients aren't working half as hard as I am at it."

So my endo called yesterday afternoon with my test results. He always calls personally himself, good or bad, which I like because it gives me a chance to ask questions. He asked "Do you have a couple of seconds? I don't want you to stroke out because of your results." My heart did a flip...could my results be that good?

Not for me, no, of course not. As my husband always tells me "you always do everything health wise the hard way". Agreed. The bad news is that my A1c went UP.....that's right, UP! From 7.7 to 8.0. After all my hard work. So disappointing. Why am I working so hard again?

My endo says not to get discouraged because this is what he expected. He said 80% of his patients new to a pump will go up with the first A1c and then come down. But I don't want to be part of that 80%. I'm working too hard to be part of that 80%.

Honestly I was floored; completely unexpected. An 8.0 equates to an average of 207. I really don't understand mathematically how that's possible looking at my data. I rarely go above 180 anymore. Thanks to my Dex and frequent testing, I am confident in this. I have read on Tu that the A1c more heavily weights more recent numbers and I did have a rough spell the week/weekend before my A1c test but I just don't see it. My pump log shows that only 4% of my 900+ readings were over 200 over the last 2 months. I'm the kind of person who wants to understand so I can fix it and I just don't get this.

But it's not in my nature to give up. And giving up wouldn't accomplish anything anyway. So I allowed myself a one hour pity party, got a big hug from hubby and a pep talk from dear daughter who reminded me that I always used to tell her to be the little engine that could. And now I start over yet again on the quest to conquer that darn A1c that is my nemesis.

Way to go. Kick that A1c right in the ash can.

Just like me and the dialysis smile, we just gotta keep going. Thank God for family and friends to hug us and keep us at it.

wow, that does not make sense. If you find out any answers, I'd be interested in knowing what happened. yes, keep going.

Similar thing happened to me. I've only been on the pump since Dec 2011 and before I had bloodwork done in April my meter showed my BG average to be 128 so I was expecting something in the low 6 range. I got the results and it was 6.8 - the same as it was 3 months before that but I'm not complaining because I used to be up in the 7 - 8 range. I guess you can always expect the unexpected when it comes ti Diabetes!.