My name is Amalia and I am 24, I have had diabetes since I was 21yrs old. None of my close friends have diabetes, so even if I wanted to express my frustration they wouldn’t understand. When we hangout they usually eat all the goodies I can’t eat and even though I have my healthy snacks it really stinks watching them eat what I would like to be eating. Sometimes I feel like they think I am trying to be better then them by refusing to join them. My husband is also diabetic so we really try to cook healthy and show our children good eating habbits as well. This sometime offends my family members because I choose not to allow my kids to eat candy as a snack. What should I do? Should I splurge a little with my friends? Should I allow my family members to give my kids sweets?

I personally don’t feel that you should change your behavior to please other people. You are the one that knows what is right both for yourself and your family. You can try and explain to people why you eat the way you do, but if they don’t understand, that is their problem. As for your children, perhaps other parents will chime in, but I feel it is a balance between what happens at home and peer influence, because you don’t want them to feel singled out or different which is important at a certain age.

When I first stopped eating sugar (for an eating disorder, before I got diabetes) people seemed to be pushing it on me. “It isn’t VERY sweet”, or “surely you can just have a little”. At the best, the just didn’t understand, at the worst I think they wanted justification for their own habits. I explained that for me it was like an alcoholic, I couldn’t have “a little”. Then I have also heard alcoholics say people tell them they should “just drink moderately”. Some people just don’t have much empathy for situations different than their own.

Do what YOU feel is best for you, and gently tell people that is your choice. Some of us have found the need for that “gentle” to turn to “firm”.

Thank you Zoe! It’s really awesome to get advice from people that are in the same boat as I am.

I think you should keep it up. Just explane to your family (as I did mine) that you don’t think candy and sweets are good for your kids b/c they come from a diabetic background. KEEP THE FAITH YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Zoe and Doris are right on the money here. Were roles reversed, your friends and family might do precisely as you and your husband are. If your friends are truly thinking that you are trying to be better than them, may I suggest that the sentiment is rooted in jealousy and ignorance. (Note that “ignorance” is not strictly a negative term; it also means “unaware.”)

As for not following the crowd – being a sheep is boring but leading the charge is exhilirating! Hold your course!

Ditto! Well said. :slight_smile:

Stand your ground, especially about your kids. Judging from your picture, and your age, your kids are young. It is your job as responsible parents for you and your husband to teach your kids the proper foods to eat and those they should not eat. If healthy eating habits offends your family members, that is their problem. Like Zoe and Doris said, don’t change good habits to please other people. When you go to visit a friend or family member who offers your kids sweets, bring a small bag of something healthy, like mini carrots, grapes or nuts for the kids and let them eat that. Start the kids early on eating healthy and not being influenced by other people’s choices.

You are entitled to raise your children as you see fit. Making healthier choices is laudable. If you’re friends don’t understand that you’ve got certain dietary parameters, they need to learn. On the splurge thing – if you want a little bit of the goody you can. Bolus for it and enjoy. This isn’t about taking all the pleasure out of life. Your family will just have to come to understand that you don’t wish to give your children the excess sugar and would prefer that they be given healthier snacks. You don’t have to change your groove. Teaching children good eating habits from the beginning is laudable. Stick to your guns.

Thank You!

Wow! I like that, I don’t mind being a sheep and standing my ground!

Thanx for your support I really appreciate everyone’s input!

I’m sure your realtives wouldn’t want you to come into their household and tell them how to raise their children. I know we can pick our friends and not our relatives which is sad. Continue to do what is right for you and your family.

I totally agree with catlover and SF Pete stand your ground. As a diabetic mom myself I understand how it can be hard to tell family your wishes concerning what your kid eat or not eat and have them honor it. It was a big problem I had with some family before my daughter was diagnosed this year. Keep up what you are doing for your kids and parents that is our job. Don’t change your way to make family and friends happy or feel good about themselves.