When I have some D-related episode -- a sudden low, or crazy highs or roller-coasters BGs that I just can't figure out -- I feel so all alone. All the love and caring of my family and everyone out there notwithstanding, in the crunch it feels like its just me and my Diabetes. I'm the one who has to constantly live with it, deal with my diabetes every minute of the day. Nobody else. Sometimes its hard to take...
Anyone?
I understand exactly what you mean. I had a nasty low overnight last night and there really is no one around at 3am when your levels are crashing. Sure supportive family are great, but not a lot of people "get that".
Though I will say the chat feature on this site has been excellent, and talking with the people on here always help alleviate some of those lonely feelings :D
It can be really isolating! Like you, I was diagnosed within the last year, and for me, this is a looong adjustment process. The highs and lows are so frustrating and stressful- sometimes I know why they happen and I struggle with blaming myself, and other times I don't know why, and that in itself is scary. I'm thinking of looking for a therapist who specializes in working with people dealing with chronic illness.
Black Llama- Sorry about your late night low. That's a good idea to use the chatroom at odd times when people nearby are asleep. I would never have thought of that, as I haven't really explored the chat feature, but it seems like an excellent use for it.
It entails so many things. I posted yesterday about my low and paramedic visit Sunday morning. Here are my thoughts:
The big thing I hate: Lots of people think it is all "my fault" that this happens. If I get asked one more time why it happens, I will scream.
I scared my poor husband to death, and was uncooperative when he tried to help me.
I agree that it is a very lonely feeling, even though I had my husband's care, as well as my son and his family. My spouse gets it and stays because he loves me enough to put up with everything. On that I am very lucky. I take a lot of strength from his love.
Yes it is difficult. And as isolating as it may seem, it is important to recognize that in fact you're not alone. This site is a great example of this.
What has helped me very much when it seems like my blood sugars are all over is to not expect perfection. Yes, do your very best, but sometimes you'll eat something or miscalculate your insulin that will send it out of whack. Other times the reasons are less obvious.
Diabetes can quickly get more mental than physical in this way. Whether you're too low/high, correct it as best you can and then Don't think about it! Be productive or do something that you love and do not dwell on it for a few hours. Check again.
Remember above all that this forum is a good place to vent when it feels like it is all too much.
I think I sort of "deny" it and try to focus on what I'm "doing" rather than what I "am." I didn't talk much to anyone about diabetes until I started hanging out online, other than a few interesting encounters.