Feeling down and discouraged

Diagnosed in 2008 with type 2 and within the last year after finding a good endo I found out I am a MODY 3. I was hoping to reverse my diabetes and did everything to do so, lost all the weight (BMI 19)upped my exercise, low-carbed, the works. Now that I have been re-diagnosed and have an increase in meds, I know that reversal is most likely not going to happen. My last A1c was 5.4 but just went up to 5.6 this week. For the past month my numbers have been so out of whack following 2 months of pretty intense stress in my life with family events, illnesses, etc. Normally I can handle most things pretty well but these events burnt me out. Now that my BS are out of whack, I have had highs like I never have had before I feel discouraged and lost some hope. I am exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I get discouraged when I take my numbers and see the high ones despite adhering to my low-carb regime.
It has happened before where my numbers have been out of whack for a week or two but never this long or high. My endo increase my glimiperide but doesn't seem to be working either. I have become depressed and lethargic and must really push myself to exercise. Sleep is hard right now, I wake up often and rarely get a full nights rest. I want to feel better and have more energy, almost as if I need a shot in the arm or something... I am usually a positive person but these past months have taken it out of me and I have nothing left to give.

I 5.6 is good. You should be proud of that number. Also dont fall into the trap where you hear you can reverse your diabetes. It is just going to make you think you failed at something. At this point this is our lives with diabetes. You should not think about reversal but good management. I would be proud to have anything below a 6.5. This is a long distance ride not a simple sprint. Some years you will be up and some down. Hopefully down more than up and if you are not always down dont beat yourself up for it. It will make you stress more and drive bg's up. Take care

Thanks for your kind words. I am hopeful I get back to a good place soon with my head and numbers. The last several months have been difficult which could also be driving my numbers...

Insulin WILL make you feel better when your bg is high.

One of the hardest things I have had to accept is that I will never return to "normal." All my valiant attempts at blood sugar control will never truly give me a "normal" A1c. I have diabetes. Even if I do my absolute best, my control won't be perfect. In the end, that is ok. When I reach my end and I look back, if I always tried to do my best I will have no regrets.

In our eyes, you haven't failed at anything, rather you are a roaring success. The mere fact you got an accurate diagnosis is amazing. We all do battle with the diabetes monster, fight against high blood sugars. In the end, it only matters that you fight valiantly, not whether you have a particular number.

"Diabetes reversal" is a misnomer in my opinion. Good management is not. And, it sounds like you have GREAT management, so don't be discouraged.

Also keep in mind that stress is hard on any one's body. Add diabetes to that mix and stress can really mess things up. I changed jobs recently due to stress, and finally realizing that the stress from that old job WAS affecting my health adversely. It just wasn't worth it. My new job is more work, but the company and the folks are worth everything, making this job almost 100% stress free. And, my health has shown the difference.

Diabetes is a very very difficult thing. From your efforts and the results, I'd say you got it under control. Even if you don't feel like it. Increases in meds are normal, so no need to worry there either. Keep up the great work!

thanks Scott. Love your picture.