do you ever just remember times when you did amazing things with diabetes and now you just feel that you can never do those things again, but i think back to those times and wonder is i ever had a good control or that i was just eating candy and nutella just to stay alive. Right now i want to live i don’t want to fkn think about diabetes every day, and i have good days lots of good days where i feel as though i am able to do everything i want to. But bad days when i just drop and can’t hold a steady sugar make me feel worthless and emotionally drained and days like these remind me just how not in control i am. my disease is controlling me and i hate it, hospital, cgm’s, educators blah blah there is no answer i just i really question living sometimes on a bad day. i just hope these lows stop because i honestly don’t know how to continue, having the disease to close to 3yrs, a life time seems impossible
I’ve had T1 for 28 years and remember as a young teenager (a number of years in) being very overwhelmed with the thought of all the testing, shots, etc., …for the rest of my life… it seemed impossible. Usually those feelings were so much worse with low blood sugar. When bgs are more steady, the stress is reduced, too. I hope you’re able to get your bg under control soon, because it will make a difference in how you feel.
I’ve been a diabetic since 1965 and I was 5. I don’t think about it most of the time, even though I know have a pump. Being a diabetic is a part of me. I don’t have any complications. If I decide to have a piece of cake, I have one and cover it with insulin. I had a very different doctor back in the late 60’s. He said if I wanted to have candy, cake or anything the other doctors said was a big NO for diabetics, just to cover it with insulin. Which was very difficult back then because all I was on at first was NPH.
I don’t think about testing, I just do it. It’s a part of my daily life just like cooking meals, drinking, having my “shot”. Now it’s pumping. I guess it’s how you look at it.
Yeah, that is kinda hard to imagine. We had that crazy exchange diet thing back then–I don’t know if anyone was really able to follow it. But I don’t think there WAS an “exchange” for cake.
I subbed fruit and cake interchangeably. But I think the meal exchange diet was a joke. Remember how they taught us to read the nutrition labels before nutrition facts…
I have a feeling that the exchange diet was designed by someone who didn’t have diabetes. For me, it just made things more complicated. It’s effect on me was to resort to guessing carbs, an ineffective alternative.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I had one of those two days ago. Sometimes it all seems so futile and pointless. But then I realize that is just what it “seems” to be and not what it is. It’s kind of like burnout in small doses. For me, they usually pass within a day or so. If it never goes away (which has happened to me) it is time to ask for help. Whatever that looks like.
In the meantime, Adele, believe in yourself and rant away.
All I think about is my life before diabetes and how fantastic it was… I would give anything to go back to that. There was never a point when I can do anything I used to do with this disease. I hope you get back to more stability. For me, stability means I let my bg run way too high. As soon as I start getting it in more in line it leads to more hypos.
Are you on a pump? That may make things easier for the lows because you can shut your basal off, eat some sugar and wait for bg to come back up. Try to leave 4 hours between bolus/meals whenever possible. No iob makes it less likely to go low all the time. Then shut off or reduce basal for any activities that may drop you low. A dexcom is essential for helping you monitor things.
No I don’t have a pump due to my lows my hba1c has dropped and I’m not elidgable for a pump, but it’s so good to hear that people are angry and wish for a life without it, I’m so thankful for all of your support it makes a huge difference
Believe it or not, I went to a diabetes educator and dietitian this summer to get advice about losing weight (which they had no advice for), and the handout they gave me (which I promptly recycled) looked an awfully lot like the old exchange lists. It said one serving equalled 15 grams of carbohydrates, and then listed foods by category (starches, milk, fruit and vegetables, fats, “free” foods) listing one serving portions. All you’d need is a meal plan listing the number of starches, milks, fruit and veggies and so on per meal, and you’d have the exchange diet that I remember as a kid.
Oh my god, I just came on here to basically complain about the same thing… I just realized, I keep living in my head like one day all the doctors appointments and bloodwork and counting every single thing I eat will be over… And I’m just realizing now that I was secretly, somewhere in the back of my consciousness, picturing this day when I was going to be “done” with having diabetes… And it’s just hitting me real hard right now that I will never be done… That this is it… This is just life now… somehow, this never really sunk in before… I have had type 1 for 9 years…
I was diagnosed with Type 1 when I was nine, too, and the whole “forever” thing hit me really hard when I was about 23 years old. It’s like I had never really realized it up until that point, even though I’d already had diabetes for almost 15 years. I’m now in my 30s, though, and it seems much less overwhelming…
Interesting. It appears that differences in speed of absorption don’t only happen with drugs, they occur with ideas too. Seems we each obey our own individual schedule when it comes to letting the message sink in. The “forever” thing hit me almost immediately after dx; certainly no more than a day. I suspect that’s a big part of the reason I wasn’t fit for human company for the next several weeks.
I was diagnosed when I was 30 and the whole forever realization occurred immediately. I went through grieving about it mostly in the first year or two.
I think for those of you who were diagnosed as a child, your adult you has to grieve, too, but you have to wait till you reach adulthood. Interesting.
Because as a child you don’t grieve in the same way because forever has no real meaning, I think it reasonable to grieve as an adult. Had not thought of this before though.
️