This was originally posted to my blog, Diabetes Odyssey.
This past year I have been trying to not post so much about the down side of my type 1 diabetes and complications. It’s a challenge, not because it’s all bad but because this blog is centered around my type 1 diabetes and complications, and when I started this blog it was my outlet for all my pain and frustration as well as a way to reach out to other diabetics that struggle. So it’s understandable that a lot of my posts come with downer aspects.
But, as is life, it’s never all negative, I have a whole life besides just my health issues and it is pretty darn good. Also,there are many positive ways to talk about struggles and frustrations, etc… I’ve been trying to do that without diminishing the reality that it really is hard, painful, and many times angering.
It’s difficult for me to change my writing point of view because I am the type of person to be straight forward and brutally honest. Many of my readers have described my writing as ‘real’ and ‘raw’. I like it this way because I don’t see the helpfulness in dressing feelings up or watering them down. I aim to be totally open and honest with the reality we face as persons with chronic illness. People who are new to this life have a right to know what they’re in for and that they are not alone in the emotional and physical struggle.
I spent so many years thinking I was worthless, weak, alone, and a failure because nobody prepared me for the fact that this is really, really hard and really, really painful. I was told that as long as I did what I was supposed to do I’d be fine, my blood sugars would be in control, life would be normal. And I was surrounded by people who were like me but hid their pain, and said it wasn’t so hard, or just wouldn’t talk about it at all.
Hiding it and lying about the struggle don’t help others sharing your same struggle.
Be honest, be open.
Of course we all handle what life deals us in our own way. By no means are you obligated to reach out and help others like yourself, but, damn, why not make the best of a not so great situation? Take your experiences and hardships and make something good out of them by helping others with theirs.
That’s all I aim to do here, to let other type one diabetics, and people with other chronic illnesses, know that you are not alone in your emotional pain and your struggle to control it all and your struggle to live a regular persons life while also balancing the added weight of your illnesses.
You are not alone, not a failure, not weak, not worthless at all!
So, I think I’ll just keep writing the way I like to write…