I think I can answer my own question. it is quite bad when it gets to 8 PM and you say "hang on, is it bad that I'm not washed or dressed yet?" and go and wash and brush your teeth in a vague attempt to turn yourself into a normal human being. I'm just like a robot, going through the day, just waiting for the headache and tiredness that comes with a high, or the shaking and lightheadedness which means a low, testing and injecting and eating low sugar meals at the correct times. plus I've had a couple of pieces of really bad news today.
I think I might be having minor panic attacks before I test. is that weird? I go really shaky and feel like I'm having a low as soon as I go to get my meter. then I test normal. this is really odd. I felt low today, I was SO sure I was below 5. my hands were shaking. I couldn't get the damn blood on the test strip. I tried to test before the meter was on. 10.6! I'm HIGH? and not even REALLY high. 10.6 is below my average, but it's NORMAL for me! I repeated that test 3 times. 10.6, 10.9, 10.6. what the hell?
I remember those days. Just going through the motions. That only lasted until the next summer. Then I realized how inconvient it was. Watching want you eat, when you eat and taking the shots and checking your blood sugar.
As far as the shakiness prior to checking your blood is understandable. I believe it is more anxiety. I been do it for a few years now and I now that every spot has its on degree of sensitivity and find it hard to remember them all. I have been told that that if your body is use to having high levels that when the level begin to drop even slightly it can feel low. I do not really start feeling low until I hit about 80. That is even after my two month hiatus from keeping a good eye on my diabetes, which shocks my doctor. Going two months without taking my insulin and average about 300 maybe a little lower, but my side effect of starting my insulin regiment again is severe migrane like headaches. Of curse there are time when the headache just come and last from weeks.
Unfortunately, just like what everyone else says, it is different for everybody.
For a while I don’t know why I did this, but its good share. I had soeme anxiety about my BGs so much to the fact that i would cover the screen with my finger and slowly reveal my BG number number hoping for th #1 not 3. I guess if I take a step back and look at where I am now I would thing “wow thats pathetic”, but to this very day I still sometimes do that when im over anxious…
Don’t feel alone about all your struggles. I’ve realized i’ve kept this all pent up inside me for soooooo long. I feel the need to blog and wright this all out
