I think I can answer my own question. it is quite bad when it gets to 8 PM and you say "hang on, is it bad that I'm not washed or dressed yet?" and go and wash and brush your teeth in a vague attempt to turn yourself into a normal human being. I'm just like a robot, going through the day, just waiting for the headache and tiredness that comes with a high, or the shaking and lightheadedness which means a low, testing and injecting and eating low sugar meals at the correct times. plus I've had a couple of pieces of really bad news today.
I think I might be having minor panic attacks before I test. is that weird? I go really shaky and feel like I'm having a low as soon as I go to get my meter. then I test normal. this is really odd. I felt low today, I was SO sure I was below 5. my hands were shaking. I couldn't get the damn blood on the test strip. I tried to test before the meter was on. 10.6! I'm HIGH? and not even REALLY high. 10.6 is below my average, but it's NORMAL for me! I repeated that test 3 times. 10.6, 10.9, 10.6. what the hell?