It's a start

I’m not much of a blogger, I would call myself a reader or observer. I have read many blogs about diabetes. I have read rants and raves. I have observed other diabetics habits. The only thing missing in all of this is ME. I need a space where I can rant and rave. Where I can vent when I am having a bad day and celebrate when things finally click and I get a few good numbers in a day. I need some where that is MINE. I want to put something out there for others to read. Maybe even gain something from it.

I will not promise to blog every day. I will promise to blog once a month. I promise to be honest with myself and everyone on here who reads my blog. I will not sugar coat things to make them sound better, even if doing so makes me feel better. I need this place to be honest. I am tired of being lied to or having someone feel sorry for me because I am a diabetic.

I have type 1 diabetes. I suck at having the disease. I was diagnosed at age 17 in may. I was going through a rebellious stage and it took awhile for me to get out of it. When I was 19 my a1c was 7.1. Up until 2006 it was anywhere between 7 and 14. In 2006 I got pregnant and had to start taking care of myself. I was the healthiest I had ever been during that pregnancy. My a1c was 6-7. I gave birth to a gorgeous little girl on July 31st 2007, who is now 3 and is AMAZING. After giving birth I went into severe depression and ppd and went back into my bad ways. It went on like that for about 2 years. My marriage felt like it was constantly on the rocks and I was worse for wear. In 2009 I became pregnant again and once again became the healthiest I had been in 2 years. In October after the worst pregnancy ever I gave birth to a beautiful little boy and had my tubes tied. Currently I am doing ok. My marriage is doing better, my kids are the best things to ever happen to me and I think I am getting a grasp on things. I have days where I do everything right and days where I just forget and don’t do anything. I still have plenty of downs and I visit the hospital about every 3 months due to my diabetes or because I seem to be lucky enough to get the flu or some infection that really knocks things out of whack. My latest was a case of shingles (yes I am only 28). I figure I got it because I seem to have a way to stress myself out and the fact that I have a terrible immune system due to diabetes.

That is my story so far. I am not perfect and realize that my diabetes never will be but it can get better.

I love your honestly and look forward to hearing more! I just started here, too. Good luck!