Is it unfair for me to ask my husband not to bring in foods that he knows I can't eat? His BS numbers keep creeping up at every Dr. visit but I think he's in more denial about both of our situations than I am! I'm D2 but as of yet hasn't been diagnosed. Anyway, I have very little will power and told him that sometimes I feel he's secretly trying to kill me, lol! Last night we went out to eat , I was doing great, beef, green beans, cold slaw. then he asks "do you want to share a slice of pecan pie with me??" Any suggestions out there? Thanks.
I had to learn that this is my diabetes. It isn't anyone elses. My wife was just as bad. She used to cook, but I couldn't eat what she served. So I took over cooking. And she used to sit down to dinner and demand "Where are the CARBS!" and get right up and bring potato chips to the table. Today things are different, she got diagnosed as "pre-diabetic" and I told her she was "diabetic." She didn't speak to me for days. It takes time, but change happens. These days, she accepts my lifestyle. Her A1c is down in normal levels, she has lost weight and she likes the food.
It takes time to adjust your lifestyle and even more to drag those around us in our wake. In the end tho, you need to accept that this is your diabetes. People will always tempt you and give you a slice of pie and tell you that you must not love them if you won't eat it. In the end, you just need to "own it."
I know your right Brian, but when we both were smokers 10 yrs ago, he was the first to quit and was after me to quit for years and I finally did. I actually believe that after i quit and gained 20lbs is when I went into full blown diabetes, lol! We do really love each other but it's always been hard for one person to bear the pain that the other isn't enduring. I will try harder to own this thing but when he offers to share a slice of pie it's almost as if someone is giving me permission and not just a temptation.
If you saw the cupboards in this house. Everyone has a sweet tooth and every other kind of tooth too. You can only concentrate on yourself. I've got a craving for pecan pie now.
Ahmen to your comments. On Target.
Change does take time and sometimes one has to give time for the new information to sink in and be digested stripped of emotions.
Everyone always wants instant answers.
I worked with bunch of heros's in high tech who always wanted an instant meeting and hammer and forge to bang out answers in hour flat.
Better approach is to give everyone overnight in cool of evening to rethink and understand issues and let emotions seep away.
Best wishes with your diabetes.
It aint easy says mountains.
Designing ways to turn off desire to eat is YOUR job. Don't worry about HIS numbers. Just yours. HE has to learn about how to turn down HIS desires. Many times over the years I have responded to sharing pie etc. I always say, I won't have half, but I'll have a bite! And I enjoy that bite!
It's important to sanity to own one's own problems and let a spouse own his without rising emotionally.
Educate, communicate, do most things together.. words my non-diabetic husband and I live by. I agree with all...it takes time to do some lifestyle changes and it wasn't easy.
Maybe I am blessed that my husband was willing to share "my diabetes", and learn about it (educate). We talk and plan our meals and snacks, the things we shop and even the "treats we manage once in awhile. We discuss new things to try and places to go (communicate). Most physical activities are shared, from daily exercises, to evening walks, etc (doing things together).
I cannot say the same for my relatives and some friends though...I bake pecan pies...but I just graciously decline when offered...wink :)
my hubby does it all the time. I've just learned to say no to his obseane eatings
my husband does the exact same thing. especially since i've been on the pump. he is a marathon runner and a lg consumer of carbs and sweets (cookies, chocolate, pie,etc) every night at around 8-9pm, he sits in front of the TV and sips tea and eats something (deadly) sweet and yummy. EVERY time he asks me if i would like some. and it is exactly the same when we go out to a nice restaurant which has "good" deserts ("we can share it; i'll get two forks. It wont kill you...just program your pump)Blah blah blah. i could ring his neck.
AND, 2 top it off, we've been married 18+yrs. you'd think he would get the hint already.
To maintain my very best BG I would be forced to live in a parallel universe eating only compliant foods and taking my meals on a strict regimented schedule and even postponing meals and activity's when my BG was not within target range. My wife understands my needs and I do not expect her to comply with them. Many couples have relationships that are based around food. We see each other at dinner time, whats for dinner, where would you like to eat tonight, dinner and a move. Many relationships start this way, a cup of coffee and a introduction, dinner for a first real date. My wife and I are doing our best to change what we do when we spend quality time together, Church, going to the gym, walk the dog, take a short road trip ,bird watching, gardening, reduceing the time we watch TV....ANYTHING BESIDES FOOD!
Just say no!!! I know this may sound harsh, but I can't imagine telling my husband or kids they shouldn't have garlic bread or dessert simply because it isn't a good choice for me on a given day. In fact, I am usually the cook and often prepare those things for them. Having said that, since your husband is at risk, hopefully he will see your example and maybe change his ways for his own health?
Thanks everyone, for new ideas about how to look at this situation. I realize that it is always up to me and that I have to make the choice to be healthy for me and no one else. I'm just trying to help my husband realize early that he will be joining me soon if he doesn't slow down now but I guess he has to go through his own denial first. You all had very good points!
I'm the only person with D in our house and I try not to force my disease on the others. I have never ask the others to limit what they eat on my account. Sometimes I wish they would be more understanding but I understand why they are not it's because my D is mine alone. They can eat things that I limit and still be just fine but they understand that I shouldn't and they don't try to force things that are unhealthy for me onto my plate.
I was the same when I quit smoking, I never tried to force others to stop smoking because I no longer smoked. I am not a nicotine Nazi and I'm not a food Nazi either.
I feel that if I can maintain my will power in spite of what going on around me then that just make me stronger. There is nothing that says that I can't lead by example so I do. Applause to you for doing the same. Your statement that your husband must go through his own denial is so true. Eventually we all do, hopefully he will see the light before it's to late. The best that you can do is to show him your love by giving him a good example which is was you are doing.
There's a packet of my favourite bread rolls sitting in the kitchen right now. I can't eat them. I don't think my family realises how much this is torturing me and how badly I want to eat them.
I did speak to my mom once, when she left a plate of potato chips in my line of sight on a table just behind my computer for over an hour. I explained how it was really too tempting for me, and could she either eat them or move them and not just leave them lying around in front of me. She was receptive, so it worked out well.