Just Sad

I just needed to vent. ( I know this is not what this place is for..Sorry in advance.)

All I can say is I have become a human river. The water works haven't slowed down for nearly 3 weeks. It is getting very bad. I feel worse for my family..they have to put up with me. Everything is making me weep. Thinking about my life, health, doing workouts..just everything. I was taking meds but I started to feel better so I stopped. Once this last box is gone I will have to go to the doctors. I feel like I can't do that right now.Sorry don't really know what to say. I think my health is weighing heavy on my mind. My BG numbers are sky high all the time.( I was told if I lose over 60 ish pounds my diabetes would possibly vanish.) Working out and watching my diet is not helping me. I am trying to lose weight and I am not seeing results...My friends don't understand. I have even taken off work this week. Three whole days..without being really bothered..I don't know.Everyday feels like I lost my best friend...

I too felt a lot like that at one time. I found that talking to a psychologist helped me TONS!! They can help you sort out your feelings, prescribe you some anti depressant meds, and help you reach and aim for goals. If you are tight on money, you can check with the county, and see if there is a center that would take you based on your income level. I hope you find some sort of relief in the near future! Life is full of surprises, and around every corner is another "adventure"!! May God Bless You!! I pray for you. Keep your chin up, and try to smile once in a while! You may soon realize that things are not as bad as they once seemed!

No need to apologize - you can definitely vent here.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It sounds to me (as a complete non-expert) that you are dealing with some major depression. Are you back on your antidepression meds? I think (and this is just my opinion) that you should try to get back to your doctor & get the meds updated. If you start to feel better, please keep taking the meds.

Finally (again just my opinion), I think you should concentrate on getting emotionally stable before you work on the other things, especially trying to lose weight. 1) How can you try to improve your health when you feel so bad?, and 2) I have found that losing weight is not a good goal for me. It usually has the opposite effect.

( I was told if I lose over 60 ish pounds my diabetes would possibly vanish.)
I think this is garbage (and I was told the same). I follow Health at Every Size, which means that the goal is health not weight loss. I won't go into it here, but if you want to send me a message for more info I'd be glad to talk about it.

Sorry - got a bit sidetracked. Anyway, you are important, and even though it doesn't seem like anything can get better, it can. (That is part of the depression.) Get help, keep reaching out, and things will get better.

Post here whenever you want/need to. {{{{HUGS}}}}

First thing, please never apologies for venting… I found this site just a little while back and my first and ever discussion was, well, a vent,and so many people related to it… I realized that if I feLt that way, there must be others out there feeling just like me. And i was right… There were, and in your case,some may not want to admit it today or tomorrow, but one day, they will realize that they too feel like crying a river. No it may not be as bad as the guy or gal sitting three cubes down the row from you who as cancer, or it may not be as bad as the one who just found out their lover was cheating on them… But sadness and depression is all reative, in my opinion. Yes, you may have a maneagable chronic illness… But when life throws us curve balls and lemons, not all of us can catch them or make lemonade. Sometimes we just want to stop ad cry. And that, in my humble opinion, is OK. Yes, we do need to get back up, chin held high and fight the good fight… But I realized a long time ago, I could not do it alone, and I dont blame you for wanting, much less saying out loud, you want help. Not everyone is a hero in every aspect of life… We may be heros for our families when they need us, but perhaps we need to believe in heros too, to help us in this fight against diabetes. Yes, I said it, it is a fight,a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, life-long…minute-by-minute, second-by-second, mind-altering, body-impacting, stress-inducing, anxiety-provoking, blah, blah, blah… Fight. We will never win, that is the real issue, that is why I cry, but if only we could conquer one dragon… Wouldn’t that be nice.

Keep fighting, keep crying, keep talking… We are here to listen and stand beside you, always and forever.


I agree there are many factors in any person's individual case of depression or sadness, but I am offering just one possible explanation, based on what you said. There could be many other factors, but this might be a medical explanation.

You did not say which type of medication you say works for you, but you have mentioned you stopped in order to keep what is left to use as needed so you don't have to go back for a refill prescription, just yet.

If it is an antidepressant in the SSRI class, there is a reason why suddenly stopping causes extreme depression. You say you know it works for you, so you may think stopping is not a problem, but it is a problem. That is why the instructions are that it has to be very gradually reduced. It is so the brain can detect the lower levels of serotonin availability and re adapt back to normal function. I've read a great deal about this class as I took Prozac and the generic Fluoxetine for most of the 1990s. So I read to understand what it was I was taking, but the real medical action is rarely explained in a book. Even doctors don't want to explain it because it might make people afraid to take them.

I had been emphatically told in the 1990s by my doctor that it had to be gradually reduced, but she did not explain why. I learned that in the past year while watching a Dr Oz show. Finally it made sense. The brain takes a while to notice the lower serotonin and reactivate the receptors on the neurons in the brain. You might not even be taking an SSRI type of medication, but if you are, don't stop suddenly. The method suggested by doctors is to reduce the number of capsules and then to even take it every other day once you get down to one capsule per day. Then to take one every few days, etc. Each person's strategy would be different based on their case.

I don't know what meds you were taking that made you feel better, but if they were anti-depressants, stopping was just the opposite of what you should have done. So go to the doc, because if you are depressed, you NEED to do that, even if you don't want to.

As far as losing weight, yeah, that's what they tell everyone. When I was diagnosed, I wasn't even obese, but that's what they told me. So I lost 15% of my body weight, and it didn't do a damn thing. MAYBE weight loss will help, and MAYBE it won't, so I agree with Buffy -- concentrate on your health, not on your weight.

The most important thing in the world right now is for you to summon up the courage to take care of YOU. Even if you don't want to do the things you need to do, do them anyway. If you need diabetes meds, so be it. Weight loss is not important -- getting those numbers down is!

And remember that you have a whole family of people here who are willing to hold your hand, and give you a shoulder to cry on and just listen -- never be afraid to vent -- that's what we are here for. <3

THANK YOU ALL! For responding and giving me advice.I know it has been some time since I was on here. Some major stuff has been positive since my last post. I've had a "lump" (looked like a fat ball to me) removed from the back of my neck ( I have been migraine free for nearly 20 days!), my numbers are still BG numbers are still super high..I have started taking the last of my antidepressants. I have also found that we do have a diabetic group in town that meets twice a week to go for walks. I have not joined them yet..but it looks hopeful.I only tear up around 2 times a week know. I have also started to write things down because I think we only have consular here on a full time basis. I have made a doctor's appointment for sometime in August. So,here is my quick update. (Shared computer right now..my time is up.)

Thanks again so much. I will update soon. Glad you are all here.

*HUGS* & Take Care

Good to hear you are feeling better. It's too bad that your numbers are still so high. Have you tried the web page Bloodsugar101.com ? It is really helpful.

Mini Update : I finally saw the doctor..(better late then never) Turns out I also have uncontrolled Asthma.( I've just was under the impression I had a bad chest cold or bad summer allergies.) My friends are a bit more happy with me lately..I am not as "mental" these days. I have my meds and a ton of vitamins that I take nearly every day now. My BG is still nothing to be proud of yet. Once I can control the daily trips to get my 16 0z English Toffee coffee I feel things will improve greatly. ( It's awful..I drink one or two of those a day and then I wait till late in the evening to have an apple & cheese.)

Now, I am reading Diabetes for Dummies Canada and I am looking into The Blood Sugar Diet. I have also visited Bloodsugar 101. Love that site!! Now, just for fun I am also reading "Why Men Love B*tches". Good Book! I am too nice! =)

Just wanted to post a little something..without making a new discussion. Hope everyone is well.