This is my first time here....but I am so happy to be able to release my true feelings!

This is my first post...I hope i wont be judged here as I know I am far from a model diabetic!Ihave type 1 didabetes for the last 17 years...I switched from mdi to an insulin pump with novarapid 4 years ago.I am 22 today...I have spent the day crying...I amnt looking for sympathy...I know I am depressed as I have felt like this for a log time and I can pin point the cause..DIABETES...I hate diabetes...I feel I canot control it...I cannot fully let go and relax- it always gives me something to worry about....I have gotten to the point where I feel really jealous of my friends..they can have spontanaeity in their lives.I feel I have no future...all I see is complications and fear...I have lost out on so much in life due to being sick or too anxious because of my diabetes to go out and do things.I know there are a few clear reasons why I dont have good gluose control.Number1-I am terrified of hypos 2.I am so afraid of weight gain that comes with extra insulin 3-Exercise is just a total disaster for me.I really really hate my size I feel I am too big..the main reason my doctor put me on the pump was so I ould exercise without needing extra calories by using temparary basal rates instead....but the temp basal rates dont work for me-as in I still need the snack...When I have done exercise in the past I have ended up gaining weight-its not I decide to stop the snack and do a larger/longer temp basal rate and I end up with ketones and then I have a panic attack about them....The only thing that has kept me going up to now is if i have hope but right now I have none.How do ye exercise if ye are trying to lose weight?I have tried low carb diets but even with basal reduction I needed carbs for the exercise.

1st off WELCOME 2nd no judging here (I know I'm nowhere near the perfect D but I give it my best shot failing greatly at times ............well most of the time lol) Honey I got 39 years into being a D and I still get jelous of ppl who can east willy nilly at anytime Here please feel free to tell us ur emotions b/c most (all) of us have been there quite afew times. Anytime u want to just come to my pageoh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Do you just feel you are too big or are you actually weighing a lot more than you should? Answer this question honestly. Because you may be overly-focused on your weight and NOT focused enough on your health. They are two different things.

If you have T1, the most important thing is keeping your blood sugar within some normal range. You know that. I know that. We also know it's sometimes easier said than done, but it can be done. At 22, your body is really just starting to settle down from puberty. Your hormone levels are more stable, and this can be a great time to achieve better control.

Exercise is a great way to naturally lower blood sugar levels and you need to find a type of exercise that works for you. Experiment with different kinds (walking, running, hiking, resistance training) until you find the form that works best for you. You may find that several different kinds of exercise work and you can vary things up a bit. Even a long, brisk walk is EXERCISE!

When you do exercise, how low of a temp basal are you setting? Are you setting it one hour before exercising? I have found that for some forms of exercise, I need to set a temp basal 2 hours beforehand in order to avoid going low. It's ok to start exercising a wee bit high (like around 150-200), so long as you come down while exercising (don't stop insulin completely!) A small snack (like 15-25 g of carbs) is not going to negate the positive effects of exercise.

Again, don't focus on weight loss. That SHOULD NOT be your goal. Your goal should be getting healthy and getting your blood sugars within range as much as possible. A little extra weight just isn't going to hurt you in the long run the way high BGs will.

I feel reassured that you have similar feelings to me..thank you for sharing.

Thank you my bustd pancreas for your reply.I love your name btw!I will try my best to change my focus from weight loss to better blood sugar control.

I'm not perfect by any means. I drink too much beer and I never exercise. I am never pleased with my body or my overall health. But I was diagnosed at age 3, back in 1974. I am 41 now and still going strong. At your young age, I understand your frustrations, but understand that life goes on. Most troubles are temporary. Maintain your hope!

I became a diabetic in my fifties.I have had a lot of hard times but I try hard to be calm when facing fear .I have worked with lots of young women having housed over 16 girls as a foster mom. I think it is important to find an place in side of you that has love for yourself and acceptance of all of you.Your happiness and your sadness.Life is like the sky . There are many seasons to who we are. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You will find strength within you over time.