I feel the goal is just out of my reach? It’s been a long few weeks while I continue to improve my life as a type 1 diabetic, yet simple things have such huge effects. My wife of 13 years finds it hard to believe that by working together we can have a happy life with my disease. she is a very strong minded Influential personality and a Non-Linear thinker where I am a Direct personality, Linear thinker and a type-1 diabetic for 25 years. we are struggling to stay together with 3 young children 7,8 and 11. My A1C is 6.5 but I have too many lows after too many unplanned highs from over compensating with quick insulin. 25 years with no typical diabetic disabilities; feet are in great shape, eyes good, kidneys ok, etc......
Yet I can't help my wife feel less worried every time I eat; ever time we go out to a family party and I have too many nibbles on snake foods; every time we go out with friends and I have a drink. I want to feel normal like every one of our friends. God; how can alcoholism or drug addiction be worse then this? Please tell me i'm not crazy!
August I rode the Make-a-Wish 300 mile bike ride. Three days, 100 miles each pulling my teammates at 20 mph into the wind or over every hill; what a rush knowing I’m more then human like Captain America or Thor! Last April I completed my 2nd marathon in Knoxville TN. Four hours 25 min; 26.2 miles plus 5210 feet vertical assent. I know I will not last for forever but I came to tears while crossing the finish line knowing I’m not suppose to be there. I'm supposed to be half blind or on crunches but I’m not; I’m just a guy with a disease.
Today I not only counted every carb but I planned the carbs for the entire day. I never believed it would be better then running. it was poetic! sugars stayed below 150 and not uncontrolled lows. All this without exercise. yet my wife doesn’t believe the data or my excitement that I can improve the control of highs and lows.
she came home today from a weekend at her parents where she opened their mailbox to find a letter from the Gerber Life Insurance company addressed to her in her maiden name. she askes herself if this is a sign? She receives this letter the only day she spends the night back home; “it must be” she thinks. WTF I'm not a Captain or a God , I’m scared of loosing my wife and I’m a type-1 Diabetic.