My heart goes out to some of the stories I read here having suffered from depression for as long as I can remember but not being diagnosed until my late 50s leaves a path of unhappy memories times lost and guilt about how I treated some people especially my own kith and kin, the phase grow up get out of it or it is all in your head springs to mind, until you have been where I have been on some occasions close to ending it all keep your mouth shut if you cannot say something positive and helpful sorry but that is how I feel the irony is that you may be feeling like de,ath warmed up it is those loved ones around you that get the full brunt of it, moody sessions angry silent shouting been there done that feel awful about it.
Even on days like this sitting typing away I can feel the tightness in my brow which often leads to a low taken my tablet for it but does not really solve it for long, being alone with nothing to do but think is not good for me self pity soon settles in like a warm blanket but this is a false notion for depression has many faces some of which you long for might even say crave for, use to smoke a lot thinking that would help financially suicidal health wise overweight heart attack you know the score as well as I do.
Bing on TU as often as I can really is a good tonic for most of those who suffer and we do suffer being in contact with people who care even though they may be strangers is most comforting, cold sitting here need to walk around hope you understand how I feel and I do feel for you too
i'm listening hope others listen too.