This is my first post to these forums, I have been T2 for 21 years, I have always had this dark cloud of being sick hanging over my head. I was diagnosed Bi-Polar in 2001, manic-depressive with a rage disorder. I had 9 months of therapy and am now and will be taking meds for this condition for the rest of my life. The meds actually do a good job at leveling me out, but there is this quiet defiance towards the diabetes (I have never skipped meds, but have gone months with out testing, and eating what I want). At this time I am happy to say I have cracked down and my A1C has hit the low 7s, this is down from 11. Your reply has opened some new windows and maybe a new coping mechanism for me. Thank you.
I have read and heard this all the time.
> "In diabetes, we are trained by books, television, doctors, parents, and friends that we shouldn’t eat candy, birthday cakes, ice cream, pizza, and chips."
it doesn’t help to hear this or see it, it just fuels my defiance.
This is a quiet but significant conversation you have with yourself over and over, perhaps before every single meal you eat. And it doesn’t help you. Instead, it might be making you feel as though
> the disease is trying to control you, limit you, and deprive you.
You want to fight it. Gain control. Gain power over the disease by saying, “Shut up! I’m gonna eat whatever I want.”
This is exactly where I sit, a lot of the time.
But you pay the price in guilt, denial, high blood sugars, and weight-gain. You abuse and overeat the food simply because it is “off-limits.” In the end, your actions are still being controlled by food.
Imagine, instead, if you told yourself, “I can actually eat whatever I want. This is my body. I choose. I’m the one who puts the food in my mouth. No one can stop me.”
this is where I go… but I have no control the urges are still controlling me.
Instead of feeling limited, you have every option, and every choice. You choose to respect your body by not overeating. Even when you choose candy, you are in control, not fighting. Instead of choosing candy with shame, in an attempt to fight against the reality of your life with diabetes, you are choosing it proudly, with awareness of your diabetes management. You take your insulin, and enjoy the food.
I wish the books and people around actually knew this, your comments have helped me understand a little more.
I also believe that me being able to “talk” to someone will help too.