Mixed marriage is common in saudi society,saudi men finish their higher education in the west.When we gather, women together,we tell stories,women gossip about culture differences.One of my friends,American told us that her mother in law asked her to choose between converting to Islam,or giving her 5 grandchildren.She is expecting the fifth.Lots of fun when we are together…
Sohair-
I am an American (background is Irish) and I am married to a Honduran. We are both Catholic, but there are noticeable differences in our cultures. My husband has been in the USA for 20 years now, but he was raised to be almost catered to by the women in his family. Luckily, I have a lot of the strong Irish traits in me and my darling husband has learned to share in all aspects of married life and parental responsibilities. He cooks, cleans and vacuums. (His mother can not believe that I make him vacuum!) He is the BEST! We just celebrated our 15th anniversary last Friday.
And, our children are BEAUTIFUL! I find children of mixed cultures to be just simply stunning!
I’m Irish-Catholic-American, my wife is Japanese-American. Family is a major focus in both of our backgrounds but the method of interacting and sharing is very distinct. It’s much more formal in the Japanese American tradition. Gift giving is very important for any occassion (never, ever, ever arrive without a gift. Never. Ever.) Gifts of money are demanded for some occassions, such as funerals or New Years. Monthly donations of cash to the elders, my parents and hers, are also traditional.
My Irish-American tradition is much less formal. It’s more of a sharing tradition in which nobody keeps track - we just figure it will all even out in the end. But we certainly notice when someone is being, let’s say, less than generous or not pulling his weight. When we bring a gift on any occassion more likely than not it’s going to be a gift of food rather than money or a an object. Lot’s of food.
The best tradition we’ve adopted is Oshogatsu - a celebration of the New Year featuring an open house party and a TON of traditional Japanese food, mixed in with some Western dishes - plenty of drink, good company and football on television. The celebration occurs on New Year’s Day. All day. It takes a week to prepare everything, but it’s well worth the effort.
Kills your blood sugar, though.
I’m Jewish & my husband was raised Christian Methodist, but he doesn’t embrace Christianity. Though my husband didn’t convert, we were married in a Jewish wedding ceremony. We’ve been married for 25 years.
The cultural differences between us took some adjusting. He was raised in a very conservative, small town Midwestern, emotionally repressed environment. No ever argued, no one raised their voice, not much physical contact &, no matter how you were feeling, you smiled. Quite different from my family where everyone is rather vocal in expressing themselves & lots of hugging & kissing going on. After being with my family, he wanted to know why everyone was arguing. Told him–that’s how we talk, no arguments, no one holds grudges. Took me a while to feel comfortable with his family, too. They’re so quiet, that I felt ill at ease.
Drove Tim nuts at first that he couldn’t follow a conversation because everyone was talking at once & loudly! Now, he really loves how lively my family is.
Tim is the more flexible of the two of us because I have to admit that I’m still not completely comfortable with his parents. Everything is subtext with them & I can’t figure out what they mean when they say/do things. Lots of passive/aggressive stuff with them. Used to hurt my feelings, but I’ve finally got over that part.
Must be really hard on him having family so far away:( A good friend is married to a guy from India. When his mother comes to visit, she stays for two months. Fortunately, my friend loves her mother-in-law. I also love it when she visits because it’s a constant feast of incredible Indian food:)
i am white argentine married to a black puertorrican. i love that woman!
I am Black American and my wife is an American Mexican. We just celebrated 32 years of marriage this past weekend! We met in school and got married within a year or so. When we married we did not have any family support for the idea so we took just went down to the local court house and got married with two of our friends as witnesses. Not a bad deal for a 35 dollar marriage license.
I am a very domestic so I do the cleaning (my version), shopping and cooking. She does all the financial stuff. Both our families have come around to the idea but it was late in the game. After being a core team of four (two kids, now adults) we have developed have our own life style now. With that said, they love my wife and her family loves me. I have since learned that it was not about skin color. It was more about their kids asking for trouble by being a mix couple when life was perceived as challenging enough. As kids we did not see it that way, but as parents I am sure they did. I loved the 70s! And do not think love should be stopped by what divides us. Love is suppose to be powerfull!
Jim
Sounds like a man thing to me. Right on par with a blender! Get him earplugs:) Have to admit that I’ve never gotten practical gifts from my husband, except once when he got me a set of dishes & that was because HE didn’t like the dishes we had. They were accompanied by roses, so it was kind of balanced out.
at least he didnt get you something that is obviously for him. the father of a friend of mine gave his wife a microwave for christmas. i mean… c’mon.
sorry to ask, you didnt get support because you were young or because you were mixed? to my wife and me is a little strange because we got support from everyone in our family. i mean people sometimes look at us strangely -i think it is because we both are darn too good looking- but we’re happy! 32 years? we only have 5
Egyptian,saudi marriage;
Arrived from Uk,my husband’s family came to say salam,I prepared food for 5,but 20 came,women,children,cousins,with lots of presents,TV,watches,…
We women sat separately,men in the dining room,devided the food among us,but women kept sending their children with our food to men’s section…
Felt mean,though I came from very generous county in Egypt,Al Sharkia,so generous the poeple,they invited the train ( yes the train) for a meal…A well known joke… الشراقوة عزموا القطر
Ivan
You were lucky to have both families support, everyone handles issues differently. As an example, consider the sexual identity of a son or daughter. Some parents cut off all relations with their gay child and some parents love their child enough to overcome that societal prejudice. Plus, you a lucky to have supportive parents. Play it forward with any off springs you have now, or may have in the future.
Jim
Dear Sohair. Check this out to see if it is adequately mixed up.
I was born in Montreal Canada, both parents were from central Slovakia. My education was at arch right wing catholic French only school system. A lot of my friends in my youths were Jewish. They voted to make me a Rabbi, I said it was ok as long as it did not involve the removal of sensitive body parts.
At University I had Vietnamese Communist and Vietnamese Capitalist friends and this was a the height of US bombing and pacification. I had to sympathise with both points of view. Also I had Lebanese friends some were Muslim, some were Druse and some were Christians. Contrary to the Vietnamese these Lebanese factions were a peace during their stay in Montreal. Could be because the Lebanese civil war had not yet started. This war prevented my visit to Lebanon in the early 70’s.
My first wife was Quebecquoise mostly of French descent but with some part native. This was at a time when Quebec ( the French speaking province of Quebec) nationalism was awakening with the General DeGaulle: " Vive le Quebec libre" The ■■■■■■■, at least 100,000 Canadians died to retake France from the Germans and these did not include very many of his his Nationalist Quebecquois Friends who were like Raschid Ali in Iraq at that time.
Being a non pure laine ( no pure wool) person in Quecbec at that time was probably not as bad as being Jewish in Egypt under Nasser. I asked my first wife what pure laine meant and never got a straight answer. I said my Mongolian ancestry was probably related to her native Canadian ancestry within the last 10,000 years. This was a nebulous concept like Un-american during McCarthy or Communist under Regan which definition included the Beach Boys. Well maybe I should have not told them that I did not like Nationalists and blamed them for the death of way more than a 100 million in 20 Century.
That marriage did not last. My second wife I call my beloved Godless Swedish Communist. She corrects me by saying Socialist to which I reply: “same thing according to Ronnie”. The only thing that annoys me is we are not allowed any form of spirituality. Being a diabetic makes you feel so much closer to the after life. If we want to feel better we are allowed to shop at Landsend or Cabelas. However there are only so many cashmere sweaters and fishing rods we can store in our house so our contribution to stimulating the US economy has come to an end. And being a true materialist her last words when leaving on a trip to Sweden were : “if you throw anything away I will divorce you”. This was after I suggested a 13 cubic yard bin and told yer she could have the pleasure of buying the stuff back.
Well about 12 years ago we move to Alberta a part of Canada that is not very nationalistic. My hope in the future is that the United States of America will become slightly more internationalist in it’s outlook. If this could occur it would be Obama’s greatest achievement. As my favorite cold warrior Zbigniew Brezinski ( pardon my Polish spelling) said for a democracy to be more open to the world would need better education about the rest of the world.
OK, I’m going to come at this from a little different angle. My wife and I have children that are grown, but a little over 11 years ago we had a beautful 8 month baby girl came into our lives. Her mother was Anglo, and her father was Mexican. We were just supposed to have a little while, but things don’t always work out the way we think. About a year later her mother came to us again pregnant and wanted us adopt her unborn baby. After several months of discussion and prayer we said yes. This baby had a different father than Myka. His biological father is African American. Yes, we adopted them both, and that was nearly 12 years ago. We call this our “Rainbow Family.” We do not tolerate racial prejudice in our home, even though from time to time they have to deal with a little bit at school. Nothing yet insurmountable though. As a Christian, I believe we all came from the same set of parents, so who is able to judge another by the color of their skin… We really are all brothers and sisters, and God don’t make no junk!
Beautiful family, Bobby!
Merry Christmas.
So blessed,so beautiful,Bobby.Happy years & years to come…
I am off tomorrow to Dubai to be a mother in law,my son is getting married to a lovely russian girl.So later I can tell you about another mixed marriage in my family.In my in law,there are palystenian,yemani,english& irish mixed with saudi.Lovely when we get together.Children also are so beautiful.