When sheila and I got maried in 1967 we dreamed of having a family and all the trimmings that come with itthe family arrived 5 children in as many years to say life was difficult would be putting it mildly but I had left home some years earlier not on good terms and sheila had as poor up bringing as I did so two peas in a pod I suppose you would have called us.
Had to let the cat in and feed her where was I family bringing up our 5 children as I have said was a struggle and I was not the best of fathers or husband no one trains you for bringing up children and the sleepless nights when you have to work the following day soon take it's toll, but raise them we did sheila and I still had our dreams nice house car money holidays some of which happened but as you know as well as I do with the good things comes the bad things.
Lack of education on my part really held me back I could barely write or spell when I left home and it took years well lots of years before I finally made anything of myself, some 62 coming up to 63 years after I was born our kids have grown up flown the nest and have lives of their own all in good jobs 3 of them married oy living with a partner the other two girls plod on looking for Mr right the years have caught up with me heart attack prostate diabetes and epression make every day a struggle.
All sheila and I wanted from our kids was a bit of respect lots of love and a smilling face now and then I guess what you wish for never turns out quite the same as what you get, to be honest we get treated horrible some times kids seldom phone and even visit less ok I hear you say they have lives and families of there own but surely all those years of struggle tears and hard work bringing them up should count for something.
I guess what i am trying to say is your kids should love you as you love them if ours do they have a stange way of showing it, I too have become a grumpy old fart in my old age worrrying about the kids the bills my health makes you more than a bit cynical about life if I had the chance to go back to the beginning knowing what I know now would I still get married have kids go through all that, I should be able to say yes yes yes for my life has been filled with love children grandchildren married to the same person for 43 years so why do I hesitate and not say yes, simply because life even in your later life should be filled from top and botom with family and family means sticking together no matter waht happens and at times my familt does not.
Having this moan has lifted a bit of the gloom that was setting in perhaps I do expect too much and should concentrate on my life sad but it sounds about right.