So i’m kinda freaking out.
My mom just made the appointment with my Endo for Tuesday to get my A1C checked. It was 8 last time i went and they weren’t too happy about that. For the last 3 months or so i have been AWFUL at taking care of myself. Most of the time i only check my blood sugar once or twice a day (its supposed to be 3) and i can’t remember when my blood sugar was in the 100s. I just know that my A1C is going to be awful. I just know it. I’m afraid too. My mom is saying things like “If you get a good reading then we can go celebrate!” And i know that it’s going to be like 13 or something. I mean. It’s not like i eat a bunch of sugar and i don’t take my insulin. I just don’t check my blood sugar and i forget to carb count. I just guesstimate what my carbs are. (I know i’m a horrible diabetic who is going to die at age 30)
I used to be so good at this. I was so so diligent about carbs and sugar. And now it’s like i can’t find the will power to even try. I know all the consequences. But i don’t know. I just can’t take care of myself properly. I’m going to try. But i’m so afraid of this damn A1C. If it’s bad they will yell at me and yell at my mom and they might take my pump away. I can’t go back of shots. I just can’t.
And even if i have 100 as my blood sugar everyday until Tuesday it wont count on my A1C. It gathers info from the last 3 months.
This is too much for a 16 year old to handle. I just wish it was easier.