Well today was my 16th Birthday, and it never really seizes to fail that in some way or another, something proves to me just how I have changed each year that passes, not only with my diabetes. I will never forget my first birthday with diabetes though , I wanted to have two pieces of cake like I did the year before, but my mom had to keep on explaining how she couldn’t let me do that, since it would be a definite that it would raise my blood sugar way high no matter how much insulin we gave. I remember that year I wanted to change my wish to having a cure for diabetes instead of a new Cd player. It looks like my wish and millions of others was granted through the leukemia drug experiment with mice… but that is a different story altogether.
But to get what i was trying to say before, I have changed a lot over just the course of one year, I got Differin(acne product that actually works), lost a few pounds, but more importantly I have gained self respect for myself. Last year I was like any other awkward freshman caught up in my awkwardness, but this year I have found my self esteem not be a withering flower any more, but a blossoming one. I’m not so awkward anymore that people are afraid to talk to me, I guess with my new found respect for myself I have become more open. I hope maybe by seventeen the thought of being in a social convention with complete strangers won’t scare me anymore. Maybe by seventeen I might find who I really am, and what I was put here to do. Maybe I am suppose to never know what I was put here to do though, maybe I am suppose to stumble all my life, and eventually trip over something great when i fall so hard I crack my face on the cement. Ah, I guess an upside to having diabetes though it gives me two birthdays to celebrate each year. One very grim, and one I wait in anticipation once it becomes November 21st. I know I just wrote a blog about nothing, but i have never got a round to posting an actual blog before. Well gonna go have some more cake, I guess I could always have 3 birthdays to celebrate, one more for the day I got my pump, cause man do I love it. Anyways gotta go dig in.