My head

in my head i’m very confused. i felt being diagnosed with this was a punishment. i know it’s not. i could have it much worse. i’ve now had diabetes type 1 for 5 years. i have sooooooooo much trouble with it. severe depression be the worst thing to trouble me. being unhealthy. knowing what will happen to me when i don’t take care of myself. and i guess i feel i’m alone. but i’m not and i know it. i struggle to take care of myself. after i was diagnosed i was scared confused and angry. still am. my first a1c test 3 months after i was diagnosed was like 7 or so. for the next 3 years it was somethin like 14. because i didn’t want to accept myself with the diabetes. it slowly went down to about 10. i know still sky high. but i felt a little better. last christmas i lost some insulin on vacation and two days later i was in the hospital with diabetic ketoacitosis. it sucked i was very scared, almost ashamed because i should no better i’ve had it for 5 years now. since then i’ve gained about 40 pounds, i feel great physically and also look much better. but still this is still my biggest challenge in life and i feel it will always be. my family and friends are so much help but really sometimes they just don’t know. i’m humalog and lantus at night. pretty easy to keep my blood healthy. but i am a partier very bad know. i drink on weekends but not too much. but i can feel it and see it it’s time to stop doing that. besides hospitals and doctors i have only met 2 other type 1 diabetics as far as i know because usually we try not to announce it. so i’m sure there have been more. but with this website group theres a whole family of them. please talk with me if i need help or if you need help

thanks for sharing part of your story. i can relate to much of what you wrote. i joined tudiabetes and it was the start of acceptance. i hope you find what you need here, and everywhere you look.

i appreciate your candor and honestly. it’s not easy. we need support. :slight_smile:

Welcome, man. You have found a place where you can share your stories and struggles: we all have them with diabetes.

Why don’t you participate in the “Word in Your Hand” project, here? It’s pretty liberating, I think.


I have to say that this community is a great resource of people and encouragement. I know it’s hard when there is no one around who truly gets it, but I have to say that finding this place has helped me tremendously. I hope it helps you as well.

I think a lot of us have behaviors that might make diabetes management more difficult.
If you like to party, don’t say that’s bad, say that’s important to me, so I’m going to figure out how to make it work with my diabetes.
My endo tells me I should eat regular meals. I say nump, no can do, we need to figure out how to make this work Without regular meals. If we got stuck on eating right, we wouldn’t be figuring out how to work with what I do eat, and my numbers would be suckier.

HI! Thanks for the add. I just joined this website & its amazing so far. I think its great to meet people who know & understand what its like living with diabetes. I did the same thing when I was first diagnosed. I chose to go against it & didn’t take care of myself the way I knew I should. I’ve learned that that isn’t the way to be. it’s a way of life thats easy to adopt. Since then I’ve learned to carb-count & now am on the insulin pump. I was proud of myself to know that my doctor felt confident enough to let me go that next step.

Oh & partying… personally I think its overrated. I used to drink alot, but found it was more work than anything. My blood sugars would be absolutely out of control for the entire week after the fun weekend of drinking… & I’d feel miserable aswell. I’d rather go & socialize without drinking. Not that I never drink, but I’ve learned that moderation is the key. :o)

Hey Ryan…Man, you’ve been hit with a lot to deal with for a young person. I wonder if others who have your same history would say that working through something this big early on lets you know how strong you can be. You will have been tested in a big way. Maybe (or maybe not) easier than joining the Marines!

Did you know that it is not unusal for a person with Diabetes to also have depression? Of course, dealing with it can be enough to depress anyone, but a lot of people are depressed even before their diagnoses. I hope you are dealing with that. My half a little pill really takes the edge off.

Good luck to you…hope you are still having a good day…another time, we can talk about the drinking. I struggle to fit that into my diabetes healthy lifestyle, too.

Hi Ryan,
I too compliment you on your honesty. I think the first step is acknowledging that you are troubled.
I have had db for 33 years and was very self-destructive for about the first 20.
I also have bad depression but take medication which helps. It is not easy living 24/7 with such a reckless condition, and I know that most of us have stretches of time when it seems like an endless amount of work.
We’re all pulling for you (and for each other). I’m so very glad you found us!

just know you’re not alone. we’re all here for you. diabetes is a challenged but i’ve found the best thing to do is to talk about it. ■■■■■ about it. take care of it. and go on living your life the way you want to - with diabetes. you can still drink and party - lord knows i do but you’ve gotta take extra precautions and always have your supplies with you. make sure your friends know what diabetes is and what to do if something happens to you…

Hey! You’ve made a step in the right directions. I know very few Type 1’s myself. Until I found the online community, I felt all alone, like you do. But there are many of us out here. This site is a great place to start. Also, there are alot of different blogs from diabetics. I have one. I know of several others on here that do also. You could start by checking thoes out. Mine is
There is another that I really like
On the Six Until Me site there is a page that lists hundreds of blogs. So that’s a great place to start. I went through a really rough time when I was in college with not testing, not giving insulin like I should, etc. It took my doctor being very up front and blount with me for me to start moving back in the right direction.
Anyway, we are all here for you. Just let us know what we can do to help!

Hi Ryan. I’m not T1 but a T2 and i have times when i don’t want to admit that i diabetes so, i eat the i want and
not the way i should. for instance last night i was bored and ask my husband to get chips and dip. i felt very guilty afterwards but i guess not guilty enough because i ate it. i didn’t check my sugar before i went to bed because i was scared to. it’s not easy being a diabetic and nobody said it would be, just take one day at a time be mindful of your numbers and if anyone ask why you poke your finger, just look them straight in the face and tell them “I’m a diabetic” and leave it at that. it will become easier as time goes by.
Just rememeber that we are all here to help each other not to judge.
YOU CAN DO IT :slight_smile:

Hey Ryan, I have T2 too but for the first couple months of diagnosis, I lived more or less like a T1 and had my life ruled by insulin shots, carb counting, and having numerous scary lows. Cara posted some great blogs you can read. I read them too even though I’m slightly different being a T2. Kerri’s blog (Six Until Me) is the first diabetes blog I ever read and remains one of my favourites today. They showed me I’m not alone, they showed me that 1000 miles away there are people who live a life like I do. :slight_smile:

You can do it!

And I just found a group for young adults. Maybe you could join. :slight_smile: