Nervous


#1

I’m nervous.

When I was first diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, my doctor has wanted me to see her every three months for a HbA1c. She also wanted me to have my eyes, feet and teeth checked regularly and see a nutritionist. I did that and saw her regularly, up until last December. In the last few months I just felt tired of seeing all those medical type people ALL THE DAMN TIME!

So, I haven’t been back since December (early December at that).

This week, I’ve taken a week off work. My son started school this week and normally I won’t be there to drop him off (I start at 7am, though from next week it will be 6.30am), so I figured a week off to be there would be nice. Plus I can catch up on a few things I haven’t got around to doing. Like seeing the doctor…

The appointment is in 25 minutes and I’m dreading it. Not just because I’m sick of seeing the doctor, but I have a feeling my HbA1c isn’t going to be as good as last time.

I have been trying so hard to eat right but I keep getting these random highs of 10-11 or 180-200 (mostly in the evening). The nutritionist was of the opinion that I’m being too hard on myself and wanted me to have more carbs than I was (this was about a year ago). With these random highs I tend to cut out more carbs, so I daresay she’d be advising me to go on medication of some sort again. I really don’t want to though.

Then there’s the weight thing. Since diagnosis, I’ve lost about 15 kg. In the last six months I haven’t lost a damn thing. In fact I’ve put 2 kg back on. I am so sick of exercising, because it feels like I’m wasting my time.

Meh, I’m rambling… I know there are lots of people out there who have a way way harder time than me. I shouldn’t complain. Anyway, it’s time to go to my appointment.

EDIT: I got told off for not coming in sooner (nicely though!) plus as well as blood being taken, I got a flu shot in the other arm. Good thing I don’t have a thing about needles!


#2

I seem to spend a lot of time postponing making an appointment and then worrying about it once it’s made.
But, it is what it is. Just do it.