Today while at work I got a phone call from my diabetes nurse.She wanted to set up the exact date I will be going on the pump and she said I could also come a week in advance to start training and make sure I am comfortable with all the buttons and such.
When I hanged up I was giddy, full of questions, a bit afraid but overall ready to go. A month from now I will get the tools to be in better control... weeee
An hour later I got another phone call. It was the rep from Animas. Wow, that was fast, I thought. He was calling to make sure I was ready for the pump and to see if I had made up my mind. Upon hearing the excitement in my voice he wanted to meet with me next week and make sure that I know how to use their pump,and become comfortable with it, tell me the ins and outs of the Ping. "There's a lot to go over do you have a couple of hours?" Ohmy, I feel like we are going on a date :)
I know I'm going to be well taken care of.
Yet a couple of hours later I got contacted by Animas Customer Care and we processed the order for my pump, color selection, some supplies so I can try different canulas. My first pump will arrive Friday, so fast! plus the lady on the phone was very thorough and helpful. She guided me through all the financial part of it: ADP + Private insurance = very little money out of my own pocket.
So I can spend it on other fab things like shoes to match my new pump! They will take care of me so I can take care of myself.
Only a year ago i believed that the pump was a punishment for bad diabetics. Only a year ago I thought that I needed to avoid it at all costs but that I was truly a bad diabetic and subconsciously was trying to kill myself by "forgetting" to inject/test. BG results around 23's would not faze me, anything below 9 was an accomplishment and anything in range was a surprise.
Today I am seeing more normal numbers and have the desire to keep them there. Today I see that I was not and I am not a "bad diabetic", taking control of your sugars is not a punishment, this disease is not a punishment and I do not deserve it. Only I have the power to not let it consume me.
Getting in range makes me feel better, emotionally and physically. Depression lessens and moods stabilize when you keep your sugars in range. That is why today I can see the pump for what it is: another tool for insulin delivery into my body. A new toy that will help me learn more about myself. A new toy that opens a new chapter in my life, the one were the hero (me) gets the shiny sword (pump) to fight the ugly beast (diabetes) And so yeah... I'm excited :D