Recent Depressing Numbers

It amazes me how much of an impact an a1c can have. I was doing really well for a while. Had about a year of improving a1cs, and even got to 6.7, which was my best ever. My most recent one was a lot worse. I was not surprised, and could point to the reasons. But, even knowing the reasons, I still hoped that it would not be that bad.
I went through about 8 months where I was amazing with tracking everything – measuring out all my food, counting my calories as though it were my raison d’etre, exercising until I was ready to pass out. Over that period, I lost so much weight my cardiologist and my friends told me to stop and that I needed to fill out again (217 down to 158). I changed my workouts a bit, focusing on building muscle and strength, with great results. I’m now around 183, with body fat under 11% (most of that is at my belly, but it has to be somewhere, I suppose). But, I could not keep up the carb and calorie counting.
Through the record keeping, I was able to eliminate many of my lows. I’m down to 1 or 2 a week, instead of 3-4 per day (spent as much as 20% of my daily calories on glucose tablets). I figured, with the way my control had been, that my a1c would be in the mid 7s. Boy, was I wrong.
I could not believe it was that bad. I knew it would be higher than in the past, but that was ridiculous.
So now I am trying harder to get it back down again. But I cannot seem to control my diet – I like to eat. I really do. And I like foods that taste good, which means aren’t the most healthy things in the world for me to eat.
I did so well for a while, but now am not. Of course, a large part of the diligence and weight loss was to save a marriage, and that didn’t work, so perhaps I am reacting to that – there is definite comfort in Skinny Cow.
But, still, 8.4!!! Trying to do better, but the meter’s average over the last 150 tests is still 160. Have to do better.
But it is very difficult. Willpower. Willpower.

Hi, Jonathan. God, I know just how depressing that can be. You’re doing the best you can; I sometimes think the big D takes pleasure in baffling-bullying-tormenting us…oh, yeah, and that healthcare article from the Times was the lead story on the front page. We just got back from a weekend in the city. Had a very nice fish dinner at Anthos, a Greek place in midtown.

Oh damn. Such a big investment in the numbers. I hate it. I used to feel really smug in thinking that I could accurately predict my AlC based on my meter average. And then, a couple of years ago, everything went in it’s own direction and I can’t even throw in an experienced guess. At least my clinic switched to getting the results while you’re at the appointment (which then throws my bp way up in anticipation). Otherwise, when the results would come in the mail a few days later I’d be a wreck all week…blah blah blah.
Sounds like you’ve made some good progress, though. Keep it up.