It must be hard for the spouse that does not have diabetes watch the person they love have to live with the disease day in, day out. I know if the roles were reversed with my husband and I and he was the diabetic, I’d probably want to run to the nearest exit. It’s a very intense and all consuming condition to live with. It’s not going to get better and it’s never going to go away.
So with that said here’s what I think. To get down from a 10 to an 8 a1c is a start but you are going to have to go much lower than that. Get yourself down to the low 6’s, or even lower if you can, and a couple of things might happen. You may be able to put a halt to the progression of your neuropathy and your retinopathy. If you can maintain that level of control for a while you might be able to seriously consider a pregnancy. You are still young and anything can happen as far as that stuff goes.
Mostly by bringing your a1c down you will be showing your husband that you are committed to the relationship and that you want to be around and in good shape for him, for yourself, and for any future child that you may try to have. You can’t expect him to stay committed to the relationship when you are slowly but surely putting yourself in the grave.
I know it’s hard to maintain good control. Believe me, I’ve been where you are with a1c’s of 8, 9, 10. I got to a point where I just couldn’t tolerate the high numbers any more so I had to quit that lifestyle. I have some eye damage and neuropathy just like you but I’m doing my best to stop their progress. The only difference is that I got diabetes when I was in my 20’s so when I was having my kids, I had only been diabetic for 5 to 8 years with no complications as yet. I am now in my 50’s and my kids are 20 plus.
Make that commitment to your marriage, and yourself, and get your blood sugars down to where they really belong. Your husband loves you but he can’t be expected to stick around and watch you kill yourself or rob him of his chance to have his own kids.
It’s tough love, I know, but you can do it. You have the power.