Hello
Just wondered if anyone has had troubles with their spouse/family minimizing your T2 Diabetes? My husband some what acts as though it's nothing to be concerned with. He frowned at me when I got a medic alert bracelet. I also have hypertension and ulcerative colitis(in remission). I work with young children along as I am a home day care provider.
DH and other family don't seem to want to accept that I have diabetes. Whether it is type 1 or 2 it is still diabetes. I feel pretty annoyed with his lack of care with this.
Diabetes, whether T1 or T2, is a serious health condition. I'm a T1D so I can not speak out of personal experience to you.
What do you do to control your blood glucose? Take medication, use exercise and diet, or take insulin? Some of these, like insulin, subject the patient to more risk of hypoglycemia or low blood glucose.
If you're not taking any meds or insulin then your risk of hypoglycemia may be low. If that's true then you don't necessarily have to worry about an acute attack coming out of nowhere.
That's not to minimize the long term health risks of T2D. You need to address this situation based on reality and the last thing you need is your family's tacit permission to deny that there's any need to worry. You need their support to help you adopt perhaps some difficult to change eating habits. Maybe you could find some diabetes education material like books or pamphlets that could help inform you and your family about what this diagnosis means to you and them.
Don't give up! At a minimum, you can educate yourself to help improve your long-term health outlook. T2D is especially insidious in that it can be ignored for long periods of time until the really serious complications set in. Denial can be lethal.
Perhaps there's a diabetes support group that meets regularly in your area. Peer support, like TuD, can be an especially powerful agent of change. Good luck!
PS - Family can provide wonderful support but people must do what they can with the resources they have. I live alone, except for my dog. I take full responsibility for my diabetes. I own it! I know that if I fail me that there's little to no safety net. I don't say this to elicit sympathy, just to let you know that you can do remarkable things for your health all by yourself!
Hi Terry
Thanks for the reply. I am taking meds and have lost weight and doing my best with diet. I am at the max for the two meds I am on. We’ll see in 3 months whenI go for my next checkup and A1C. I have had high glucose for awhile. Meds are helping but it’s not quite where we want it. I’ve done all my diabetes care on my own, along side my medical team so far, sad to say. My husband just questions why my sugars haven’t leveled out. I have other conditions and there for i have chosen to get a medic alert bracelet. He things I am foolish. I have home daycare and all I can think is what if something happens and my wee ones couldn’t talk for me. I have friends who is diabetic that have been great help and support. Just wish the one who is supposed to be most supportive isn’t. Oh well maybe in time. I look forward to getting to know people here.
Wearing a medic-alert ID can speak for you when you can't. I don't think you're foolish. Maybe it's best not to make too much of the issue now with your husband. Perhaps he will see that your attitude leads you to better health outcomes. Actions do speak louder than words.
The issue of T2D will come up again in your lives as friends and relatives of you and your husband also receive a T2D diagnosis in the years ahead. Unfortunately T2D is increasing all too much. Maybe your husband will grow into this role as time goes by. Let's hope.
As one who has had this nuisance disease for over 30 years and finally in the last 5 years resolved it before I nearly died of the crap and after one stroke; this disease is no joke, deadly serious and very nasty. It sneaks up on one as if it is only a marginal condition then really rip snorts along after a few years.
This is a multi-organ nasty mess of a disease complicated by our society and science that has improved food stocks, refined quality and quantities and converted corn starch to sugar on pennies on the ton and at the same time helped drop the energy burn exercise load since the 70's with cars, computers, lap tops, wide screens, video games and all sorts of couch potato entertainment.
Worst off the medical and science establishment have frankly allowed this mentality of a no sweat attitude as 80 % of all diabetes today is type 2 and swelling around the world. The attitude that this can be controlled ( some wishful souls might say cured by popping some pills and you can eat all you want) easily with little effort is simply not helpful and dangerous!
No folks, this is a very nasty business and some serious efforts and some new tools need to be put to work fast on this business to make progress.
I believe that it is now sinking in that at the first signs of blood glucose levels running higher; it is extremely important to review diets, exercise and get medical care/assistance to get the mess arrested.
I can say I got it stopped in time but it was a close call and my body suffered extra wear and tear and thank goodness the stroke did not level me thoroughly.
So please, heed and take care and do your best to arrest the glucose/a1c levels and not be fooled or lulled into complacency by the nonsense out there.
Best wishes, good luck and good health in days ahead.
I have to tell you, my family has not really been a big support to me. Perhaps that is why I am so active here. For the most part, I would say that my family considers my diabetes a drag on their lives and just wish I didn't have it and wouldn't obsess over it. The fact that I forced changes on everyone is considered a nuisance. None of my family even know how to test my blood sugar, let alone give me medications and insulin. I made the family change the food we eat. I test and inject absolutely everywhere. I keep my medications and diabetes stuff convenient, right out on the kitchen counter and so forth. I learned early, I shouldn't expect my family to take care of my diabetes. I own my diabetes. And while I wish their support with my diabetes, it isn't going to make or break things. I will do what I need to whether they like it or not and they can get on the boat or get off. And if I need diabetes support I have TuDiabetes.
ps. Wearing a medic alert is a prudent and safe thing to do.
Brian (bsc):
excellent comments and suggestions. Thank you for sharing!
Interesting comment....
I have always tried to reduce the impact my insulin dependance has on my family and friends. My wife and children understand the physics of my condition, but they show little empathy and cannot relate. It would not be unusual for my family or friends to eat Donuts or something, and say you can have a carrot...I understand that it's my problem, it's not contagious, and my family can enjoy many things that I must stay away from. I also live a diabetics life and do not deviate for someones convenience. If I make concessions in order to please others around me I cannot achieve my BG goals and my health will suffer.
I have been my own advocate for my diabetes care as my husband and others still relish in polishing off a dozen donuts at a time. I am not completely innocent I do have one donut or the occassional chocolate bar but I also have been known to cut too much carbs out. I guess it’s a learning process as I go. I will eventually figure out what’s best for me. I just don’t like how they seem astonished when I say things are high or low, or I say no to something. It is almost as if they are in denial. I’m sure reality would kick in if I had an emergency. So far I’ve been good at keeping this steady. In fact this morning my FBS was 7.0, lowest it’s been inawhile for fasting! Looks like the increase in Januvia is working. I hope. So far have not had to talk about insulin. It was looking like that but we’ll see who this change goes. It’s only been a week since we increased it.
Hi Brian,
Thanks for your post! I think of you as the perfect Type 2--so committed to your health, so proactive! I'm sure that your family is wonderful and that you love them a lot. To realize that you have been doing all this without family support is even more impressive!
It also makes me even more grateful for all the spouses and families who are supportive to their diabetics; all the families who have learned about diabetes; all the families who can test, recognize lows, and give meds. Congratulations to all diabetics who are lucky enough to have family support!
Best wishes to us all!
Marty
And I didn't at all mean to be disrespectful of anyone else's efforts at handling diabetes!
Brian is just so proactive and committed to educating himself and so generous about sharing his time here and sharing what he has learned!
Best wishes to all of us!
Marty
Dear Nancy, too worn out right now other than to say I empathize! Totally. I'm Type I, but I so get the lack of support from the ones you most need. Thanks to TuD I get support. You got great responses here, and from me, no advise, I just send you love.
From Brian (bsc) on; I agree that its hard for family and relatives to be supportive and I believe this is due to the seriousness of the business that if you have not personally lived it; you simply have no reference to really understand nor appreciate the problem.
Not wanting to set off a torrent of objections; it is similar to all the professionals who work on this problem for us and I wonder if having this problem should also be in the list of qualifications!
I think education is a very important step when a partner has diabetes. My husband sat next to me while I took a class for 4 hours. He tested his blood sugar, he is not a type2. I have had this for 22 years. He is there. Now , I had young teens when diagnosed. They where taught emergency signs of lows. Where my glucose tabs where, Not candy for treating lows. It isn’t perfect but it has worked for us. Nancy
Thanks everyone for your input, thoughts and support. It’s so helpful to know I have somewhere to come when I don’t feel understood here at home. Thankfully I am controlling things pretty good. The new dose does seem to have lowered my BG. It’s only been a week and I’ve been very careful with my diet this week. So let’s hope it’s a new trend. Next checkup is May/June. My boys have been pretty good at reminding me to eat etc… One time my youngest took the time to bring me yogurt and fruit for a snack. I have taught them what to do and how to call 911 emergency. Maybe in time everyone will help more.
I am new to this diabetes thing. (couple weeks)
My husband seems mad at me cuz I am trying to watch what I eat. I bought the cheapest meter, strips and lances at Walmart, and he said I don't need that stuff, and it's going to be expensive fixing dinners cuz he is not going to eat the things I eat. I was kind of upset, but, now I'm just mad. We are retired, so were together 24/7.
My blood pressure has been high for years. (since 1996) Doctors have tried just about every med and still it is high. That and weight gain is why I think I got diabetes.
I think it is just he way many people are. I love my husband dearly and he is the sweetest man but he never really understood chronic disease or handicaps until he had a life altering event. Last year he was in a pretty serious accident and has some probably permanent injuries. He currently and may never work again in his chosen field. In fact, he can't work at all right now. He used to see my diabetes as my problem. He wasn't going to care about my needs and thought I was being melodramatic. Now that he is dealing with his handicaps he is much more sympathetic.
I also think that many people don't want to think this kind of stuff can happen to them. If they minimize it and ignore it then somehow it makes them immune.
I am sorry that you aren't getting the support you need. I think this is how come many of us come here. In general, everyone is supportive and can give us that hug that we are missing at home.
You have been diagnosed with diabetes and your husband told you that you don't need to test your blood sugar?? I must not have been paying attention -- where did you say he attended medical school? (sarcasm intentional)
Yup, till
I had my stroke and spent 30 days learning to walk again and use brain and sight to get back rolling; it was extremely revealing to see what disabilities really mean and their impact.
Thank you for sharing!
yea right. Well at least he isn't the only lost soul on this issue where some
very enlightened folks are trying to limit strips to one a day up to 1 strip a week.
Same ole story, no testing, no data and no ability to control/fix anything!
Bless us all!