I had my day yesterday well planned: lunch with a friend at 1, then do some errands, than teach my class at 3:30. But when I walked down my snowy hill to my car and turned the key nothing happened. So I had to have it towed to the repair shop, call my friend, cancel my class. While I waited for the tow truck I ate lunch and when I tested before leaving it was high so I treated and went on my way. It was a battery and fixed fairly quickly. I did my errands and then went home.
I felt fine when I got home, just a bit tired so I made a cappuccino and drank it as I caught up with e-mail then watched the news. I decided to test and get dinner going and when I tested I was 32! Didn't see that coming at all, but as soon as I saw it I felt it! I had a hard time with writing in my log and was confused because the BG and the carbs for dinner were close in number. I checked my pump to see how much the bolus would be and remembered to write it down. Normally if I'm in the 50s or 60s and it's mealtime I just eat and then test afterwards and bolus as soon as I'm up in range again. If I'm lower I correct...usually...but I don't like to. I know this is irrational and attribute it to my eating disordered thinking (yes, despite 19 years of recovery!). But somehow I "conveniently" forgot it though I knew I was disoriented and felt I was forgetting something. I then got confused over whether to rewarm my meal in the microwave or oven, got distracted because I usually watch tv while I eat and I hadn't looked at the listings. Doing these things sequentially was really stressful and realized I needed to eat NOW. I ate without much enjoyment. I moved to the couch forgetting to re-test and continued watching a boring movie I'd started at 7PM.
The next thing I knew I woke up and it was 9:50. I felt crappy, a bit nauseated and ended up watching Project Runway for a few minutes (not a show I'd ever watch intentionally) before I could motivate to get up. I don't fall asleep watching tv very often, certainly not for 2 hours! So who knows if I was asleep or unconscious.
All this to say I listen with compassion when people talk about falling into patterns of not caring for their D, but feel comfortable that I don't feel that urge. But I have a pretty cavalier attitude towards lows considering I am 65 and live alone. Part of it is the ED but it seems a bit more than that. They don't normally sneak up on me like that but I've been having some dropping of my insulin needs that has made me have more lows lately and I should be more cautious accordingly. (I did lower my ISF this morning). Lows can be dangerous and they certainly aren't good for us and I need to treat them with more respect. I should have followed up on my treatment of the previous high and I certainly should never let a 32 "ride" counting on the food to pick it up rather than taking glucose tabs and rechecking after.
I'm basically writing this commitment for myself, but perhaps someone else will relate.