The ever so dreaded.. weight loss mission. Dun dun dddduuunnnn

LAMENESS is the only way I can describe the task of losing weight. I am Type 1 and currently facing the weight after insulin resistance blues. I have cut my carbs, and thus my insulin by 20 units. I am walking everyday, and bicycling on the weekend. I am logging everything I eat, which is comprised of mostly veggies and lean proteins. I use app.

Although, I know I am making good progress because my bloodsugars (and my mood) have been quite lovely, I still have my little Type 1 Monster nagging me in the back of the head. Repeating over and OVER agin that I am doomed to be a Fatty Mcfat Fat forever, that nothing I do will help and all is lost. I wish the monster was a glass half full type creature, but alas, it is not. I dont even know what happened. I was OK at the beginning of last year… and then I just kept treating my highs instead of preventing them. I got lazy I guess. My insulin doses were higher and higher … even though I wasnt eating much I certainly wasnt eating right. Oh, that food made me high… ok I’ll just bolus more. 85 units a day later (Now down to 55 thank you very much)

I am paying for my sins, I am so uncomfortable in my own skin. I wish a confession and prayer would mend my wrongs (pounds of fat)

I used to love fashion and now I find myself wearing college tees and sweatshirts. I went from not caring if my picture was taken to hiding from anyone that would dare point a camera in my direction. .

I am craving something delicious… and southern tonight, but I want to fit a little black dress even more so it looks like Im stuck on this grind.

The question I’m asking myself is if you actually need to lose weight at all. From your picture, you look like a perfectly normal size with perfectly normal feminine curves where they are supposed to be. It would be rather different if you were like 500 pounds and trying to lose weight to improve health outcomes. But you are clearly not, and it sounds like you lead a healthy lifestyle too (much healthier than most people without diabetes).

Is that a recent picture of you? If so, what fat? Honestly, you look cute and petite. I don’t see any fat that needs losing. You look like normal size to me. Hate to say it but it sounds like it might be in your head. Be careful it doesn’t sprial out of control - that is how eating disorders start. I hope you will begin to look at yourself as a good weight that is fine and that you look great! Even if you feel you only need to lose like 5 pounds, don’t push yourself - there is no rush for that sort of thing if you are not obese. I suggest to talk to your doctor and see what they say about your weight if you don’t believe us. There are lots of online calculators that will tell you based on your height what is a normal weight. Being too thin ( which is me and not because I tried to be just am) is underrated! Nothing fits me - even a size 0! And it makes you look gauky to be too thin. Believe me, I’ll trade ya!

Thank you all! I am actually doing this for health reasons… my endo team told me that I needed to lose weight. I am almost 5’11 so weight doesnt look too bad on me I guess (I am also a strategic dresser) , but believe me it is there. I was just put on high blood pressure meds, so it has really freaked me out. I really just want to be healthy and lean, and most importantly without complications. I will be perfectly honest, when the Doctor(s) told me I was overweight, it really did hurt my feelings and mess with my head… when they added the high blood pressure meds… I became a hot mess! I am going to stay on the grind… and expose all my insecurities through the blog :slight_smile:

Hi Jenny Elizabeth. Losing weight is not a panacea. I’m sure you know that it won’t make D go away. It might not do anything for your blood pressure either. I was diagnosed with high blood pressure when clinically overweight. It didn’t get worse when I became clinically obese. It didn’t get any better when I lost weight to a ‘normal’ BMI.

I remember asking my cardiologist when I was dx if losing weight would help. His reply was that it might or might not - and that he had plenty of skinny hypertensive patients.

Hi Lila… if only it was. I have had my endo for quite sometime now and he has always been BRUTALLY honest with me. He told me I am hypertensive because of stress and the fact that I let myself get fat. I dont like the way it feels. ALthough I must say that now that I am on a hb meds I feel so much better. Its the lowest dose he could prescribe but it seems to take the edge off. I have been diabetic for 21 years now, and am really a bit hyper vigilant about preventing complications. I would like to return to a healthy BMI since I am now considered overweight.